The Supermercado Project

Today's edition of the "What the heck have you been smoking?" files,

V-Day Spoof Asks How a Man's Life Might Be Better "If I Only Had a V"

An international team of men and women is staging a lyric-writing contest to satirize the growing campaign to convert Valentine's Day into V-Day. V-Day is the brainchild of Eve Ensler, author of "The Vagina Monologues." Accordingly, V stands for vagina. It also stands for violence -- but violence against women only. Violence committed by women gets no attention in V-Day events and literature, though it is a significant problem.

Since V-Day advocates want to replace Valentine hearts with V-Day vaginas, the satirical contest seeks entries entitled "If I Only Had a V" in parody of "If I Only Had a Heart," the Tin Man's song in the classic 1939 American movie "The Wizard of Oz." Women as well as men are invited to submit lyrics that speculate on how a man's life might be happier if he only had a vagina.

"The contest is intended as a light-hearted way to keep Valentine's Day healthy and balanced rather than turning it into an occasion for still more hostility against men."

These people really do appear to have too much time on their hands. Now if they were fronting a campaign to expose Valentine's Day as a massive corporate rort and encouraging people not to put comically bad messages referring to their significant other as "shmoopie" in the Herald-Sun on the 14th i'd be there with bells on.

Apparently this frankly stupid contest has something to do with awareness of domestic violence, but who's going to notice that when they're busy writing catchy tunes about a lady's nether regions?

Maybe it's all one huge zany American joke (there does seem to be a sarcastic - "we don't care about violence against men" tone to it) and I just don't get it?

Domestic violence is bad, very bad and obviously nobody in their right mind condones it. But these people are just dickheads. If you REALLY want to enter, visit their website here, then seek urgent psychological treatment.