Tuesday, 29 December 2009

TSP's Top 300 of the 2000's - Part Three

200 - Franz Ferdinand - The Fallen
199 - The White Stripes - 300mph Torrential Outpour Blues
198 - Drive-By Truckers - Women Without Whiskey
197 - Deadmau5 featuring McFlipside - Hi Friend (Vocal Mix)

196 - Kill City - Hooligans On E
Libertines cover, but I'm letting it in.

195 - Chris Cornell - You Know My Name
Shock "Bond theme song is good" result. Didn't last.

194 - The Young Knives - Loughborough Suicide
193 - Arctic Monkeys - Fake Tales of San Francisco
192 - Heloise and the Savoir Faire - Canadian Changs
191 - MGMT - Time To Pretend
190 - Saliva - Click Click Boom
I'm almost ashamed. But not quite.

189 - Pink - U & Ur Hand

188 - Goldfrapp - Strict Machine

187 - Lady Gaga - Just Dance
I would like to touch her

186 - My Chemical Romance - Mama

185 - Kunt and the Gang - Fucksticks

184 - Ying Yang Twins – Wait (The Whisper Song)
Even less safe, but at least they're keeping it down.

183 - Alcazar - Crying at the Discotheque
Regretfully, in a full and frank look at the decade I have to admit that I thought this was a corker.

182 - The White Stripes - The Hardest Button To Button
181 - Dogs Die In Hot Cars - Godhopping

180 - Mason featuring Princess Superstar - Perfect (Exceeder)
What happens when a mash-up exceeds the quality of either song on its own.

179 - The Strokes - Take It Or Leave It
178 - The White Stripes - Seven Nation Army
177 - At The Drive-In - One Armed Scissor

176 - Bob Sinclar - Rock This Party
Marquee. 3am. Smashed. Happy memories.

175 - Smashing Pumpkins - Doomsday Clock
174 - Rex The Dog - I Look Into Mid Air
173 - Arctic Monkeys - Riot Van

172 - Robbie Williams - Supreme
How I heart the goofy 70's F1 video.

171 - Little Man Tate - Down On Marie
Gig video features "crap singing at beginning" that the uploaded apologises for. Which is nice.

170 - LT United - We Are The Winners
Lithuania's 2006 Eurovision STORMER.

169 - Mylo - Destroy Rock n' Roll
I like how the guy names Patty Smyth and Scandal as if "The Warrior" was some sort of plot to take over the world.

168 - The Go-Betweens - Darlinghurst Nights
167 - Har Mar Superstar - DUI
166 - Mclusky - To Hell With Good Intentions
165 - Pulp - Bad Cover Version
164 - Arctic Monkeys - Fluorescent Adolescent

163 - Belle and Sebastian - Piazza, New York Catcher
No real video, so take your choice of sad losers (even worse than myself) doing pox covers in their bedrooms before they cry themselves to sleep.

162 - Art Brut - Direct Hit

161 - Alf Poier - Weil Der Mensch Zahlt
Undoubtedly the greatest and most wildcard live performance ever recorded.

160 - TISM - If You're Not Famous At Fourteen, You're Finished
159 - Dizzee Rascal - Sirens

158 - Chris Korda - I Like To Watch
Video so unbelievably not safe for work that I direct you to their website and if you choose to download it.. Then you'll be on the same FBI hitlist as the rest of us.

157 - Gallows - In The Belly Of A Shark
156 - Yo La Tengo – Season of the Shark
Inadvertant shark double play!

155 - Le Tigre - TKO
154 - Fierce Girl - What Makes A Girl Fierce

153 - PQM - You Are Sleeping
Or "what not to do with a prostitute"

152 - Be Your Own Pet - Adventure

151 - The Hallows - Why?
Why the hell not?

Back tomorrow (!?) with 150-101. Are you excited yet? Didn't think so.

Tuesday, 22 December 2009

TSP's Top 300 of the 2000's - Part Two

250 - Luke Haines - Off My Rocker At The Art School Bop
249 - LCD Soundsystem - Losing My Edge
248 - Pulp – Wickerman
247 - Ladytron - Seventeen
246 - Bloc Party - Like Eating Glass
245 - The Sounds - Tony the Beat

244 - The Baseball Project - Broken Man
Featuring him out of REM. Not, not him. The other one.

243 – Elbow – The Fix
The only song about race fixing? Until somebody writes an ode to Hayden Haitana and his paintbrush anyway.

242 - The Long Blondes - Lust In The Movies
241 - NASA featuring Karen O, ODB and Fatlip - Strange Enough
240 - Belle and Sebastian - Step Into My Office Baby
239 - REM - Supernatural Superserious
238 - Morrissey - How Can Anybody Possibly Know How I Feel?
237 - British Sea Power - No Lucifer

236 - TISM - Message From A Big Day Out Port-A-Loo
The last hurrah of Australia's greatest act.

235 - The Strokes - Between Love & Hate
234 - Ladytron - Destroy Everything You Touch

233 - Lily Allen - It's Not Fair
Extra points for subtle inclusion of profanities that are often missed when played at public events.

232 - The View - Same Jeans
231 - LMFAO - Yes
230 - Calvin Harris - Acceptable In The 80's

229 - Texas Lightning - No No Never
Australian sings country for Germany at Eurovision. Gets few votes.

228 - Flight of the Conchords - Inner City Pressure
The rarest beast. An amusing comedy song.

227 - Jamie T – Sheila
226 - The White Stripes - You're Pretty Good Looking (For A Girl)
225 - Franz Ferdinand - Do You Want To
224 - The Decemberists - This Sporting Life
223 - Just Jack - Glory Days

222 - Coldplay - Yellow
From this, a great single, to the most BORING but popular band in the world. Ack. Don't look too hard for any of their other tracks in the next 221.

221 - The Dandy Warhols - We Used To Be Friends
Untainted by being used as the theme for My Restaurant Rules.

220 - Thicke - When I Get You Alone
Somewhat tainted by being the son of Alan Thicke.

219 - Lily Allen - The Fear
218 - New Young Pony Club - Hiding On The Staircase
217 - Grafton Primary - Relativity
216 - Peaches - Tombstone Baby
215 - AFI - Miss Murder

214 - Morrissey - I Will See You In Far Off Places
The opening track on Ringleader Of The Tormentors. Gave hope that it would be just as good, if not better, than You Are The Quarry. Hope founded about three seconds after this finished.

213 - REM - All The Way To Reno (You're Gonna Be a Star)
212 - Tom Vek - C-C (You Set The Fire In Me)
211 - Goldie Lookin' Chain - Guns Don't Kill People, Rappers Do
210 - Shapeshifters - Lola's Theme
209 - Neon Neon – Belfast
208 - The Gossip - Standing In The Way Of Control
207 - Tomcraft – Overdose
206 - The Eighties Matchbox B-Line Disaster - Psychosis Safari
205 - Republic Of Loose - All Mine
204 - Blu Cantrell - Hit 'Em Up Style (Oops)

203 - Duk Koo Kim - Salvador Sanchez
No video. Boo.

202 - Low Fidelity All-Stars - The Good Times
Also no video. Boo again. Imagine I Want You Back for the 21st century.

201 - The Streets - Fit But You Know It

Monday, 21 December 2009

TSP's Top 300 of the 2000's - Part One

A list ten years in the making. From a shortlist of over 600 songs we've halved it to an even three hundred. And if you think some of this is dubious then imagine what got left out?

* No limit on tracks per artist
* No covers (Cover of the decade = It's My Life by No Doubt) UNLESS the cover is more famous than the original and both came from this decade.
* No straight remixes. Samples ok.
* Please no coming to my house and attempting to knife me at least until you've seen #1.

300 - 50 Cent - In Da Club
Thumping track with lyrics that seem incredibly naff nearly seven years on post 50's brief rise and shithouse acting career but still a memorable track. Maybe better enjoyed as an instrumental...

299 - Ben Folds - The Bitch Went Nuts

298 - Lordi - Hard Rock Hallelujah
Cod Finnish 'metal' and Eurovision winner. Just crazy enough to work. Prepare yourself for a cavalcade of other Eurovision entries in the next 297 tracks..

297 - Joe Lean and the Jing Jang Jong - Lucio Starts Fires
296 - Black Box Recorder - The Art of Driving
295 - Pop Levi - Sugar Assault Me Now

294 - Eminem - Lose Yourself
Like its generation's Khe Sanh, a song that probably should rank higher but for being beloved by dickheads.

293 - Elbow - One Day Like This
Clearly made to be sung in a field at 3am in the morning. Would rank hundreds of places higher if I was into that kind of stuff.

292 - Kasbian – Underdog
291 - Chicks On Speed - We Don't Play Guitars
290 - La Roux - In For The Kill

289 - Limp Bizkit - Rollin' (Air Raid Vehicle)
Well screw you, Fred Durst may very well have been the douche of the decade but this still packed a punch. And we're not done with the Bizkit yet..

288 - Kasabian - Shoot The Runner
287 - Klaxons - Golden Skans
286 - The White Stripes - My Doorbell

285 - Daz Sampson - Teenage Life
Just ignore the slightly dodgy video. White man rap that came off surprisingly well on record, but less so in Eurovision 2006 where he scored bugger all.

284 - The Streets - When You Wasn't Famous

283 - Kaiser Chiefs - Never Miss A Beat
Moderately tainted by being flogged to death on the ads for Channel 10's footy coverage all fking year.

282 - U2 - Vertigo
281 - Beyonce and Jay Z - Crazy In Love
280 - The White Stripes - Icky Thump
279 - Ben Folds - Rockin' The Suburbs
278 - The Killers - When You Were Young

277 - Fedde Le Grand - Put Your Hands Up For Detroit
There's no point in denying it. You got trashed. You put your hands up. You've never been to Detroit. We're all in the same boat.

276 - Outkast - Hey Ya
Absolutely butchered by overkill when it was the biggest thing in the world for a few weeks after release. Only now can we sit back, appreciate fully and ask the time honoured question - 'what's cooler than being cool'?

275 - Goldfrapp - Happiness

274 - Pink - God Is a DJ
Despite a late charge from Lady GaGa there is surely no doubt that Pink was the female 'pop' artist of the decade. Only Timberlake could face her down for the overall title.

273 - Yoji Biomehanika – Samurai
272 - Mia Dyson - Roll Me Out
271 - Pay TV - Refrain Refrain
270 - Junior Jack – Stupidisco
269 - Pixies - Bam Thwok

268 - Together - So Much Love To Give
The same thing over and over again for almost eleven minutes. Hit the gear first and you'll enjoy it.

267 - The Long Blondes - Giddy Stratospheres
266 - The Airborne Toxic Event - Sometime Around Midnight
265 - Yoji Biomehanika – Angel Of Death
264 - Pet Shop Boys - Minimal
263 - Robyn - With Every Heartbeat (Tong and Spoon Wonderland Remix)
262 - Goldfrapp – Train

261 – Ja Rule – Livin’ It Up
Much like 50 Cent he was a clearly detestable human being who managed one sample-aided cracker of a track before never being heard from again. At least had the good manners not to try a serious acting career.

260 - The Cloud Room - Blackout!
No video. Imagine what a song about a blackout might sound like.

259 - Junior Jack - My Feeling
258 - Art Brut - Moving To LA
257 - Hercules and Love Affair - Blind
256 - Maximo Park - The Coast Is Always Changing
255 - Rufus Wainwright - Rules and Regulations
254 - Neon Neon - Michael Douglas
253 - Cats On Fire - Higher Grounds
252 - Black Francis - Angels Come To Comfort You
251 - CSS - Let's Make Love and Listen to Death From Above

So, what's in store for 250-201? How many more times will you wail and scream "WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS GUY?" as another second division rap act nudges their way in next to Limp Bizkit? STAY TUNED TO FIND OUT.

Thursday, 17 December 2009

TSP's Top 20 albums of the decade

20 – Peaches – The Teaches of Peaches
Middle aged Canadian filth, part one.

19 - The White Stripes – Elephant

18 - The White Stripes – White Blood Cells
The band who dominated the first five years of the decade before being distracted by side projects and other various shenanigans.

17 - The Libertines – The Libertines
For about five minutes they were the best band in the world. Then Pete Doherty upped his drug intake to Herculean levels, robbed his bandmate's flat, shacked up with a supermodel and saw it all go wrong.

16 - The Young Knives – Voices of Animals and Men

15 - Electric Six – Fire

14 - Lily Allen – Alright, Still

13 - Maximo Park – A Certain Trigger

12 - Peaches – Fatherfucker
Middle aged Canadian sleaze, part two.

11 - The Strokes – Room On Fire
In all honesty it wasn't THAT bad of a second album, it just didn't match up to the first.

10 – The Hold Steady – Boys and Girls In America
A Bruce Springsteen for the 21st century. If you ignore the fact that Bruce is still kicking.

9 - My Chemical Romance – Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge
Yeah? And?

8 - The Libertines – Up The Bracket

7 - Lovage – Music To Make Love To Your Old Lady By
Probably the best music to crack on to since Barry White's hey-day.

6 – Sun Kil Moon – Ghosts of the Great Highway
Try the lengthy Duk Koo Kim, a 14 minute homage to a dead boxer. Unbelievable.

5 – Kings of Leon – Youth & Young Manhood
So much better than the albums they got famous from.

4 – New Young Pony Club – Fantastic Playroom
Late 00's electropop fever. Early returns on the next album show it might be hard to match this.

3 – Drive-By Truckers – Southern Rock Opera
A two disc concept album loosely based on the lives and deaths of Lynyrd Skynyrd. It shouldn't work. But it does.

2 – Morrissey – You Are The Quarry
A nine year hiatus shattered with a corker of a comeback. Next two albums declared "very ordinary".

1 – The Strokes – Is This It
Simply amazing. They'll never do anything like it again.

Tuesday, 1 December 2009

TSP's Top 50 of 2009

A poor year in music. For almost everybody on this list who has "old stuff", I'd rather it than what they put out this year. But let's forge on regardless.

First, as always, the rules. Two tracks per artist maximum, no covers, re-releases only if 2009 was the first time I'd heard it. Guest appearances, duets and "We Are The World" style celebrity singalongs don't count towards the two.

And before we begin - a quick look at the previous top 5's.


1. Kaiser Chiefs - I Predict A Riot
2. Maximo Park - Apply Some Pressure
3. Goldfrapp - Ooh La La
4. The Killers - Somebody Told Me
5. Bloc Party - Helicopter


1. The Young Knives - Here Comes The Rumor Mill
2. Giant Drag - This Isn’t It
3. Silvia Night - Congratulations
4. Lily Allen - LDN
5. Joey Negro - Make A Move On Me


1. The Hold Steady - Chips Ahoy!
2. New Young Pony Club - Ice Cream
3. The Teenagers - Homecoming
4. Arctic Monkeys - Fluorescent Adolescent
5. Jack Penate - Spit At Stars


1. Lethal Bizzle - The Come Up
2. Neon Neon - Luxury Pool
3. MGMT - Electric Feel
4. Empire Of The Sun - Walking On A Dream
5. Fryars - Olive Eyes

And now tonight's host

Speaking of old men, here's number 50.

50 - Bob Dylan - It's All Good
That guy is still alive?

49 - Lethal Bizzle - Rockstar
I was hanging out to see what last year's #1 artist would follow "The Come Up" with. The answer was 'nothing nearly as good'. It'll probably sell a truckload more.

48 - 1990's - Everybody Please Relax
A perfectly good song nearly destroyed by the use of the term 'chillax'. Even used with heavy irony it sounds shithouse. CEASE AND DESIST.

47 - The Prodigy - Invaders Must Die
They're still around, and with original members. Oh for something remotely approaching the sick menace of Breathe.

46 - Maximo Park - I Haven't Seen Her In Ages

45 - Simian Mobile Disco - Cruel Intentions (featuring Beth Ditto)
Not as good as her old songs, in a year that her band appeared with a set of songs that weren't as good as the debut.

44 - Julian Cope - All the Blowing Themselves Up Motherfuckers
Acid fried former Teardrop Explode frontman delivers his take on the art of suicide bombing in a song with no video. Thirty seconds worth here.

43 - Art Brut - Demons Out!
The same lyrics with a knowing smirk. Just not as good as before.

42 - The Rifles - Fall To Sorrow
Meh. About what you'd expect a #43 to be.

41 - Pete Doherty - Arcadie
40 - Pete Doherty - Last of the English Roses

39 - Franz Ferdinand - Can't Stop Feeling
Oh Franz, can we please have another Take Me Out?

38 - Madness - We Are London
Awww.. Makes me nostalgic for London.

37 - The Gossip - Heavy Cross
Hah, she said heavy.

36 - The Broken Family Band - Please Yourself
Where they invite you to do just that.

35 - Noisettes - Don't Upset the Rhythm
It's an iron clad guarantee that if you haven't heard this soundtracking something from the government yet, you will soon.

34 - The Prodigy - Run With The Wolves

33 - New York Dolls - Cause I Sez So
Yes, they are still alive. Some of them anyway. Kind of like The Platters playing at the Dragonfly Restaurant in Tullamarine.

32 - Franz Ferdinand - No You Girls

31 - She Keeps Bees - Gimme
Reminscent of the Meg songs from the White Stripes (but sung properly). Major difference is the pure filth of the lyrics.

30 - VV Brown - Crying Blood
Moderately insane soul - 2000's style.

29 - Bad Lieutenant - Sink Or Swim
Bernard from New Order in a New Order-esque moment. Sure, he doesn't talk to Peter Hook anymore but this is about as N.O as you're ever going to get again.

28 - Young Jeezy - My President Is Black
Sounded a lot better in the immediate aftermath of the Obama inauguration when it was released.

27 - Mayer Hawthorne - Your Easy Lovin' Ain't Pleasin' Nothin'
White boy soul that isn't complete shite. What's next? White rappers?

26 - The Cribs - We Share The Same Skies
You will note that nothing off the new Morrissey album made this year's top 50. The only decent songs got in last year as singles - the rest are shit. This track should tell you everything you need to know about why Johnny Marr and Moz should kiss make up, get back together and FUCKING DOMINATE. The Cribs had one shining moment (Men's Needs), and have done nearly bugger all since but this gets pushed from purely average to good simply by the addition of Marr Magic.

25 - Kasabian - Underdog
Like them or not, and I'm undecided, there is no doubt that Kasabian are going to slot right into the space recently left by Oasis. All they need is their lighters in the air, bullshit Wonderwall-esque ballad and then it's world domination time.

24 - Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Softshock
One of three Karen O appearances in this year's chart. She qualifies due to a guest appearance.

23 - Peaches - Billionare
Where the middle-aged and hairy Canadian sleazebag suggests that she would like to "fuck you like a billionare"

22 - Lily Allen - It's Not Fair
Pop country for people who would throw up if you were suggesting that they were listening to country. "But there's lyrics about shagging!" you say. I say Loretta Lynn did it first. Still, not a bad song. Raising the spectre of Conway Twitty in the video was a masterstroke.

21 - U2 - Breathe
I vowed never to take another U2 song seriously until they did another "Beautiful Day" or "Elevation", but this is surprisingly good.

20 - NASA - Strange Enough (featuring Karen O, Ol' Dirty Bastard and Fat Lip)
Karen O appearance #2, from the debut album with the finest set of guest artists in recent memory.

19 - Luke Haines - 21st Century Man
Your standard Haines. Think The Auteurs or Black Box Recorder. Wistful looking back at British 20th modern history a speciality.

18 - Boy Crisis - Dressed To Digress
STORMING. And what a video..

17 - Golden Silvers - True Romance (No. 9 Blues)
Another track that will undoubtedly be used in an ad at some point.

16 - Camera Obscura - Honey In The Sun
In a less cruel world this would be considered pop and would storm into the charts at #1. But no, enjoy your Katy Perry instead kids.

15 - Connor Oberst and the Mystic Valley Band - Roosevelt Room
Last year's Bob Dylan is at #50, the future Dylan is here. No video anywhere (!?), but more than worth a listen.

14 - The Virgins - Teen Lovers
Good song, quality video. Like a last minute draft smoky this rocketed from the mid 40's to 14th in the last week of voting. Congratulations Virgins everywhere!

13 - Basement Jaxx - Day Of The Sunflowers (We March On)
But enough self congratulations. Onto the best thing Yoko Ono has ever been involved with. Period.

12 - The Airborne Toxic Event - Sometime Around Midnight
Orchestral emo for a mature audience.

11 - Metric - Gimme Sympathy
Canadians behind Monster Hospital, ask the eternal question.

10 - Cerys Matthews - Arlington Way

Former Catatonia singer in blistering return to form. Like Dusty In Memphis dragged into the 21st century.

9 - Lily Allen - The Fear

Depression about fame. Pulp did it years ago, and they even nabbed the song title. Still, the best chartbound pop song of the year. Additional bonus of getting a few obscenities in that are well masked enough to see the track played at family functions. Sold. And I would like to touch her, but that's beside the point.

8 - La Roux - In For The Kill

Somewhere deep inside the heart of this long lurks 1986.

7 - Dengue Fever - Tiger Phone Card

Our first ever American/Cambodian love song. Ever. Anyone willing to bet on another one?

6 - Deadmau5 featuring Rob Swire - Ghosts 'n Stuff

Reminiscent of Perfect by Mason, in that it worked amazingly without lyrics. Like when Princess Superstar met Mason, this is remarkable with words put to it.

5 - Low Fidelity All Stars - The Good Times
Skirts the fine line of just ripping off I Want You Back by the Jackson 5. Which, in this year of one of them carking it, isn't such a bad thing.

4 - Bat For Lashes - Daniel
A Kate Bush for the 21st century.

3 - Boy Crisis - The Fountain of Youth

This year's Empire of the Sun. Bizarre freaks with strange videos delivering the natural 21st progression of synthpop. Sounds like a version of MGMT who don't take themselves so seriously. Described by a Pitchfork reviewer as "the worst band in the world" they certainly look the part, but maigod the songs say otherwise. Besides.. in the world? What about all those Hillsong front groups who sing about how much they love Jebus?

2 - Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Heads Will Roll

1 - N.A.S.A - Spacious Thoughts (featuring Tom Waits and Kool Keith)

See you soon for TSP's top 200 of the 2000's. Explosive.