Thursday, 31 October 2002

I was up at Swinburne Uni today, and yes it's that time of the year again. Student fecking Elections.

The basic gist of lineups in this battle are Hippies vs anyone further to the right than Stalin.

Fun incidents in the couple of hours that I was there were

* A really ugly hippy chick accusing somebody of intimidating and harassing her while she was yelling in his face with a megaphone
* Dancing Liberal Students
* More megaphone action
* A gay man being accused of "bi-phobia"
* Yet more fucking megaphone action - Student Unions are to megaphone makers what Australian soccer fans are to the Marine Flare industry

It's all madness, if it wasn't all so comical it would be completely sad.

Oh dear, on TV it's that episode of M*A*S*H where they give a horse an enema. Some people have to go on the net to see that kind of thing, what a charmed life i'm living.

Tuesday, 29 October 2002

I don't get this dumbass State Government ad (oh, is that an election I hear rapidly approaching) we have on tv where the foreign car company type says Victoria is great because "Whenever you blow the trumpet somebody will hit you on the head".

Is that some kind of Austrian joke or something? No wonder they just gave up and let the German's take them over back in '36 or whenever the fuck it was. I refuse to look it up just to make the point of how much I hate the Victorian Government

Sunday, 27 October 2002

So, something freaking bizarre has happened since 3am this morning. The hits for this site have (relatively speaking) gone through the roof, and i'm still not on google under "nursing home sex" so that's no excuse.

So to you Frenchies, Brazilians, Japanese and Americans who are probably totally lost as to what i'm talking about - hello!

The disturbing news item of the day is an absolute lock - "The death toll suffered in bringing an end to the three-day Moscow theatre siege has risen to 90 captives and 50 hostage-takers.". Way to go Russian idiots, pump some evil sleeping gas in that not only makes people go to sleep but quite often stops them from waking up again.

"Many captives were taken to hospital suffering from the effects of the chemical."
"Some of the victims are feared to have choked to death on their own vomit after inhaling the gas, The Associated Press reported."

Now really, I know when you've got 50 idiots with explosives strapped to themselves executing hostages that you have to do something - and that considering the circumstances 90 out of 750 is actually still a good result - BUT would it have really hurt to not just rifle through the "Ye Olde Chemical Weapons Dump" and pick out the first evil looking bottle they could find?

No wonder they lost the Cold War...

Saturday, 26 October 2002

Have I ever mentioned how much I hate Christina Aguilera... Oh, i've already covered that in detail.

They have this really lame show on called "Video Hits Uncut" which one would presume is intended to include the videos they can't play at 9am on weekend mornings - unfortunately at the moment they're playing a Bachelor Girl song which totally blows their credability as the hot porn alternative at night. Ooh, now they're playing a song that says "come" - I hope there aren't any kiddies watching!

Anyway, I saw the new song by those duds Scooter - You know, the people who found a way to actually make a Supertramp cover sound worse than the original - and by jeebus it's one of the worst ever. Much like their first offering it's five minutes of povo techno music that sounds like it was done on a 'My First Keyboard', some chipmunked vocals and a fat guy with bleach blond hair (who has a frightening similarity to Shane Warne) shouting slogans like "Come On!". I guess they'll try and sell it for 99 cents just to push it into the singles charts (See for example Heidi, Killing)

Ha ha, the best thing about this show is that it's obviously such filler (the time which could be spent on fundy religious programming, which we all benefit from) is that there is never more than two ads in a row and one of them is always a station promo - I love watching shows that I know nobody else is. Probably because everyone else has something better to do on a Friday night.
GIVE ME SOME CAKE!

Yes, it's the fatchicksinpartyhats.com Miguel translator - one of the greatest inventions known to the human race.

Thursday, 24 October 2002

It's ironic that there are so many blogs who's titles are in English but the actual content is Spanish. Mine must be the only one with a Spanish title and English text.

Not ironic enough for you?

Well it's better than that Alanis song anyway...

Tuesday, 22 October 2002

Well, thank god for that.

I was looking around the world of blog to see just how pissweak my effort is in comparison to the rest of the world. The results were, however, quite exciting. Half of the sites I clicked on had totally flucked code sitting all over the page, were in stupid possibly invented languages or were written by holy men trying to be funky. There was even one somehow dedicated to the Lord of the Rings - It could have said anything really and I wouldn't have got it. That film goes in the Jurassic Park folder of movies that I pledge never to see in my life. Fantasy films shit me to tears in the first place, but any movie that actually inspires people to go out and learn the fictional language contained within CANNOT be healthy.

Anyway, I have a huge inferiority complex when it comes to these things because the one person I know who has one makes it look good. I have absolutely no confidence in pissing about with the code, because it might come out looking like one of these horrid black and pink things written by people with silly names like "2Pac Lives"

Well, if you do read this (That's you, hardcore Tentacle Rape junkies) I shall be back a lot. I'm always on the net, usually listening to sports from some godforsaken corner of the globe so what else am I supposed to do when nobody else is online to talk to me?
Right-e-o then, i'm Adam and this here is my blog.

Everyone else seems to be doing it, so in the tradition of what made the Internet great I am going to rip them all off and provide an inferior product.

Shall we then?