Friday, 24 January 2003

Something Awful have a fine new idea for a video game. Designers take note, (especially of the exclusive screen shot which you can see to the right, for a change)

"The Princess is North" (Action / Adventure) - Oh no! The princess has been kidnapped by a convicted sexual offender and he has fled to the Kingdom of Molestor, a place which is north of your current location! Can you travel in a somewhat straight line to rescue the defenseless princess from Gaping Gary and his Handjob Henchmen? This game will challenge users to look at a compass and then direct their character in the direction of north (up). Occasionally there will be objects such as rocks and cactuses impeding your progress, but considering every button on the joystick makes your character jump really fucking high, they won't pose too much of a threat. The final boss encounter with Gaping Gary will require you to leap onto a button that reads "explode," causing Gary to explode. There is also a button labeled "make princess explode," but you shouldn't really jump on that unless you want the "bad ending" which is the game over screen flashing while the theme song from "The Benny Hill Show" plays on an infinte loop.

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