Friday, 17 January 2003

I like a good countdown (mainly because it gives me at least one thing to write on for any number of days), and this is why I present to you - starting right now - the worst songs in history. This five part series takes not only musical incompetance into account (because then it would be full of Cher songs, and i've have to show a picture of the bint) but also prior performances, video clips, song meanings.

Firstly, let's start off with a song that was just plain misleading

5. Ironic - Alanis Morrisette

Irony = "Incongruity between what might be expected and what actually occurs"
Alanis = Whiny cow

* A death row pardon two minutes too late - not ironic
* A black fly in your chardonnay - nope
* Rain on your wedding day - not quite, keep trying
* Ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife - She's just taking the piss.

The only bit in the song that is ironic is when the guy who's always been afraid of flying finally takes a plane and it crashes - and that's just nasty. She might have blazed the trail for jilted, tire-slashing, brake-tampering, stalking chicks like Avril Lavigne but, much like her proteges, she simply made no sense.

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