And did that tool Wayne Jackson just refer to David Wirrapunda as "E. Wirrapunda". He's been running the game for a few years now you know.
And why are we talking about tennis? What is this shit? Lleyton Hewitt can feature on the bloody
"Ille Nastase Tennis Medal" show for all I care but he's not a footballer.
3 hours of Wayne Jackson reading votes off cards and getting players names wrong - that's what I want. Not the fucking sporting Logies.
6 Rounds in,
* The Peter Bell tilt is still on.
* Wayne Jackson has been given crash coaching lessons in players names
* Melbourne's top vote getter is David Neitz with 5. In 1999 Scott Chisholm got the most votes with 6 despite being utterly shit. This might mean that 2003 is/was a better year than 99.
Back after Round 9
* Voss is surely going to win the thing.
* Bell's chance is slipping away. The umpires are clearly racist.
* Matthew Richardson usually gets 3 votes against Melbourne and nobody else, this year he only got two. He's clearly shit.
* Wayne Jackson sounds pissed.
DID YOU KNOW? In our last shit year (2001) Peter Walsh was Melbourne's top vote getter with 11 (source). Can Neitz crack that? He only got 11 himself last year when he topped the goalkicking.
* Eddie managed to talk to Jason McCartney without accidentally referring to the "atrocities in Dili" like he did during the International Rules game last year.
* Predictions that Scott Burns will get fuck all should have been heeded. He's on 2 so far.
* Dennis Commetti's reading of the highlights isn't impressing me all that much. You just know he's not going to come out with one of his great lines.
* I don't think a Melbourne player got 1 vote in the last three rounds. Daniher should have been out of a job at about this point.
DID YOU KNOW?
The following 10 players recieved Brownlow votes in the 1990's. Who remembers them? Not me.
Darren Troy (Geelong) 1 vote (1990)
Sean Simpson (Geelong) 6 votes (1991)
Joe Cormack (Fitzroy) 5 votes (1992)
Daniel Craven (Brisbane) 2 votes (1993)
Shane Tongerie (Adelaide) 1 vote (1994)
Ed Considine (Sydney) 3 votes (1995)
Quenton Leach (Fremantle) 2 votes (1996)
Donald Dickie (Port Adelaide) 3 votes (1997)
Andrew Bomford (Essendon) 2 votes (1998)
Garth Taylor (Fremantle) 3 votes (1999)
Source - Same as before.
* For our international viewers let me remind you that I'm posting about the Brownlow Medal - the highest individual honor in Australian Rules football. More than $5 million Australian has been bet on this event. We're all addicts.
* Neitz is up to 8. Walsh's record for votes in a shit season is under threat.
* Bell is definately being robbed.
* Andrew McLeod might pull off a shock here but Dermie has decided Ben Cousins is going to piss it in. Nigel Lappin was winning, but nobody cares about him. He didn't even bother showing up to the Brisbane function - hope he does win it now just to be confusing.
* Nathan Buckley is going to lose again. Cue the anguished howls of Collingwood mutants across the nation.
* This is all very close. I'd like to see the AFL plebs work out what do if there's a 6 way draw.
DID YOU KNOW?
Contrary to his claims earlier on the telecast Gary Lyon actually recieved 3 votes in the 1989 Brownlow Medal count.
Melbourne players to only get one were Tony Campbell, David Flintoff, Greg Healy, Ricky Jackson and Brian Wilson. The club's top vote getters for the night were Stephen Newport and Jim Stynes with 10.
* Wayne Jackson cockup alert - Paul Dimmatina = P. Dimmantina
* HOW THE FUCK DID BELL ONLY GET 2 AGAINST ADELAIDE?
* If Bell doesn't win I want Goodes to instead.
* This is going to be a massive tie. There's about 300 people on 16-18 votes at the end of round 16.
* Ben Cousins is winning again.
* Smoking Joe Misiti has two votes, which is precisely how many he clocked up when I bet on him a 1000-1 to win it in his debut season.
* Now Goodes and Cousins are equal again
* Isn't it amazing how I'm writing this as if you're actually reading it in real time, and not three days after the event?
* Cockup alert - Kane Johnson = J.K Johnson
* Nick Riewoldt will win next year.
* Oh good, the drug dealers in my flats are arguing again. It's getting violent. SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO WATCH THE BROWNLOW YOU PRICKS. I'd turn the sound down but this is an absolute fucking thriller.
* COME ON PETER BELL! No six way draw or i'll get less money.
* Melbourne - how shit were they this year? At least the 1997 squad were just shit - this years list could have done so much.
* Walsh's record is safe. Long live the man known
* Buckley's equal leader now. Best Brownlow EVER.
DID YOU KNOW?
Former Melbourne players receiving votes tonight include Shane Woewodin, Troy Simmonds, Martin Pike and Nathan Bassett.
Current Melbourne players recieving them include not many people at all.
* Somebody is going to get robbed. Try to guess who. I bet he's Asian. AND HE WAS!
* Chris Lamb should get a sympathy vote for the amount of times he was best on ground in the VFL without getting a senior game.
* The umpires are clearly morons. Nathan Brown for Melbourne got three votes against Sydney when 25 of his 30 possessions were clangers.
* The other top contenders haven't polled in R20 either. Go Bell you good thing.
* 9 players are within three of the leaders with two rounds left. Amazing.
* Now some guy is picking up outside. A neighbourhood of mystery for sure.
* They just accidentally got a shot of Adam Goodes being chatted up by a producer. Channel 9 must be confident he's in with a shot.
* I don't think Bell will win it, but that's what I said at this point in 2000 when I stood to win a fortune on Woewodin getting up. Then he somehow got 2 votes in the last game against West Coast when he was about our 12th best player. I hope Bell also benefits from such umpiring rorts.
* Sweet god, they're actually debuting a new "Sophie Monk + teenage stalker" ad. Who writes this shit?
* Sorry, I'm wasting time during the commercial break.
* Mutants are going to do their own version of the LA Riots if Buckley doesn't win this.
* Round 22 - Melbourne vs Sydney. We put more effort into throwing that game than we did trying to win anything.
* I tip Buckley to win this outright. How offensive.
* Bell and Scott Burns robbed again. Judd never a chance. No money for Adam this year.
* FUCK OFF. Bell got about 3000 possesions against Essendon and no vote. I don't give a fuck if they got thrashed - he deserved two at least.
* Buckley, Cousins and Riccuito on 21 apiece going into the last round. Goodes one behind. This is madness.
* 10 people can win it going into the last round. Neitz can't be beaten for Melbourne's 'best'.
* Bucks is home I do believe. I suppose he deserves it. Bell is going to run a place I think but this could be where somebody gets royally shafted. Wanganeen, Bell, Buckley and Crawford have all had awesome games in this round.
* Come on - Peter Bell 3 votes. Nathan Buckley 0 give it to me
* They're doing all the dud games first... what a conspiracy.
* GET A FUCKING DOG UP YOU - AFL PIGS. Bell robbed again.
* 4 way tie at the top. +Crawford
* Riccuito hits lead outright
* Buckley one vote - it's a draw.
* Adam Goodes two votes against Melbourne
* Buckley + Riccuito + Goodes
* TV microphone picks up an inappropriate "fuckin' well done" as some easy listening music blares out of the speakers.
* This result really fucks the dividends up if you bet on one of the winners. You won't get much bling bling if you had Buckley as late as today.
* I'd like to point out that if Bell had got the three votes he deserved in the final game it would have been a four way tie at the top if you don't mind.
* I have the feeling that while Goodes and Riccuito are over the moon Buckley is actually cut not to have won it on his own. Give your share to Bell if you're not happy pal.
* This is bitter Adam, with the same amount of money in his pocket, signing off from Brownlow Headquarters in St. Kilda. Over and out.