Off their collective tits

I deeply love American schools. You can take an AK-47 in to butcher your entire class but you can’t have a sneaky pre-prom drink. All together now “Sweeeeeeeeeet land of liberty..” 

Students at McGill-Toolen Catholic High School will have to do more than buy a ticket to get into the Coming Home dance next month. Some or all of the 700 students expected to attend the dance will be asked to breathe into a breathalyzer to determine whether they have been drinking alcohol. 

Students deemed to be under the influence will not be admitted into the dance. They’ll be suspended from school for three days and possibly expelled from sports teams or other extracurricular activities, according to school officials. 

Hands up who else is hoping they hit the gear like there’s no tomorrow, collapse at the door, tell the Vice Principal they love him and then blow 0.0% on the breath test and still be let in. I demand that all women present also be subject to a virginity test to make sure that they are pure in the eyes of our lord Jesus Christ. And given that it’s a Catholic school you could probably test the altar boys to see if they’ve been [snip! - TSP legal department]