Not full-scale 'Club Lock to the head' action here, because that’s just nasty, but rather somebody wigging out in traffic and making a dick of themselves. Finally this morning all my automobile dreams came true.
Slowly creeping along Queens Road to take my shitbox car to the mechanic AGAIN (sympathy cards c/o TSP Towers) I glanced into my rear-view-mirror and noticed that the motorist behind me was going off his nut. This isn't uncommon given that I usually drive 5kmh below the speed limit due to dubious speedometer readings, but with traffic travelling at walking pace anyway it wasn't my fault.
I thought he must have been on the phone but upon closer inspection it was surely impossible. It looked as if he were turning red, he was waving his hands around in the air and hitting the steering wheel. It was like watching one of those ye olde ‘Hitler on a Balcony’ speeches. With additional steering wheel. Words don’t do justice to the tantrum.
He then tried to change lanes for about five minutes but hilariously nobody let him in.
Usually I’m a major advocate of random acts of kindness on the road but in this case, after watching him denounce something or other (possibly me) for all that time I started to find it quite amusing. Eventually, after much gnashing and violence, he managed to get into the centre lane only to see it slow to a crawl instead. How I laughed. But not too obviously lest he run me off the road and kick my head in. Eventually he got it right and went past me into the distance never to be seen again. We salute you O’ mighty Queens Road lunatic.
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