Wednesday, 12 January 2005

Australia: Put it on

Over the years I’ve keenly observed the mental meltdown that Australia undergoes when the weather gets hot. Many times have I wondered why people hang out for a season that means wallowing in your own filthy sweat despite applying enough deodourant to constitute chemical warfare. I’ve finally worked out it.

It’s all about nuding up. Australians love running close to breaking obscenity laws in public and the heat allows them the best chance to get ‘em off. Forget the bullshit about cricket, BBQ’s and beaches - it’s about man boobs and plenty of them. There’s no more sickening sight that of flabby males going top off and slapping on the tight shorts. If you’re that anti-clothes you can at least go to a gym - spend the winter months there if you have to. By christ it’s awful. The thought is sickening me even now; I had to post it as part of the cleansing and healing process.

And I know what you’re going to say “What about the chicks? FNAR!” etc.. In response I say that it’s not worth it. The parade of male jug I witnessed in the city today could not be made up for with any number of attractive female equivalent. I’m scarred for life. And people let their kids wander around with these perverts on the loose…

As long as the guy who hangs around the city that I’m reliably informed IS a pervert and has done time for it keeps his clothes on it’s alright. You know the guy, he’s the one who [That’s quite enough of that - TSP legal department]

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