Sunday 16 March 2003

Speaking of trivia nights, I must tell the story of the night where I experienced what has come to be known as "The Great Trivia Robbery of 2001".

The quizmaster was a Victorian MP (although he might have lost/retired before the last election, as if I care), nobody would tell us who the questions were written by and the hosts won (which pretty much tells you who wrote the bloody questions). Now, I'm sure these kind of rorts go on all over the world - heck I've even been the recipient of one night with a highly dubious amount of questions about pro wrestling - but in most cases they're smart enough to cover their tracks to avoid suspicion from all but the most mistrustful and paranoid (ie - me).

We lost by half a point, and were ripped off twice.

1) Q: What is the oldest golf course in the world?
We answered with the full title of "The Royal and Ancient St. Andrews" and were denied because the answer was just "St. Andrews". BASTARDS.

and then,

2) Q: What was the name of Jesse Martin's boat?
Real Answer: Lionheart
Their Answer? Mistral

When we questioned this they (yes those people who coincidentally won the competition) told us that we were quite stupid and that it was written on the side of the boat for the whole world to see. Even when we pointed out that it was probably written down the side of his boat because Mistral were his FUCKING PERSONAL SPONSOR no points were directed at us. WHAT A RORT.

The zany "bonus point" round is always a thorny one, because it always looks to me like an exercise in letting the shit teams a few points so they feel better about being dumbasses. On this night we suffered at the hands of our crooked quiztosser, with CERTAIN teams recieving megapoints for doing a banal rendition of "Happy Birthday" in the singing round while we got next to nothing for a stirring interpretation of "The Stonecutters Song" from the Simpsons.

There, I've vented. Don't I sound a bit like the dickhead who got banned?

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