Friday, 30 January 2004

Woman, bring me my gun.

I'll leave aside highlights including the use of the terms "jocks" and "geeks" in a non-ironic fashion in scenes reminiscent of several Molly Ringwald films of the 1980's and the hillarious revelation that one of the guys wants to "bone" some tart who the girl absolutely hates. How rude.

Anyway, the tragically classic moment for me - and when I really started taking notice and neglecting the classy and highbrow soccer magazine I was reading - was when Bogans A and B and the Skank (he of the Pepperoni facial features) had a conversation that went something like this:

A"We're going to tape the Superbowl Sunday on Sunday, try not to find out the score and get totally pissed when we watch it next weekend"
Skank"What's that? Is it Baseball?"
B"Duh, it's GRIDIRON"
... uncomfortable silence
B"Umm. who's playing?"
A"It's Phoenix and somebody I think"
B"Oh yeah, the Eagles and somebody"
Adam"It's Carolina vs New England actually
A"Who?"
Adam goes back to reading magazine, attempting not to jump up and headbutt Bogan A
A"Anyway, it's great. We're going to get TOTALLY PISSED!"

What a harrowing moment.

This is why I'll never have children. If they were like this I'd probably drown them or something.

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