Sunday 25 January 2004

FAAAAAAAKE! Part Two

First it was Winston Churchill and his bloody non-existant parrot - and now this. Where do I get a job working for an English tabloid? I've got thousands of ideas for fake stories involving Japanese tourists, Swedish prostitutes, large pieces of fruit and hospital emergency wards. I also have a habit of randomly writing words in CAPITAL LETTERS, a fetish which these newspapers seem to encourage.

A student is so hard up she has decided to make the ultimate sacrifice... she is selling her virginity to the highest bidder on the internet... Rosie is even willing to sleep with a man despite it being abhorrent to her - she is a LESBIAN. But she would rather prostitute herself than see her studies suffer... Her posting, which ran alongside ads for secondhand cars and unwanted furniture, read: 'Eighteen-year-old university student looking to sell virginity. Never lost it due to lesbianism. Will 
bung in free massage if you are any good. Picture on request.'

Apparently it's on Ebay. Good luck finding it. Even if it really did exist she "placed her ad on the popular eBay website earlier this month." Now the UK Ebay might be different but isn't it true that on our one the longest you can have an auction go for is ten days? If this is the case shouldn't she have already seen the cash, plonked some lucky (?) bogan and flogged the story to the tabloids for even more cash by now?

There's a photo in the article - you decide how much you'd pay to do her. I'd hate to be rude but I'd pass personally. Ladies please note that you can have it for free! Happy days.

UPDATE - Apparently it was 'removed' from Ebay which is a bit convenient isn't it?

UPDATE 2 - I sold my soul on Ebay for $13.50 once. I must do it again soon.

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