Are you a complete loser? Well stiff shit. Are you a RICH complete loser? Well you can have your PICK of the hot ladies!
IF $92,000 is not too high a price for a dream date, any Aussie bloke is sure to snap up a high-class lady with a BMW Z4, according to a new guide to "chick magnet" cars.
The sleek open-roofed two-seater rated tops in the "how to impress test", hailed as the machine for luring the most discerning, gorgeous women.
In a blow for Holden, test drivers said its Monaro CV8 muscle car had little success turning female heads, even though they definitely had the respect of other guys.
For those seeking a woman from the "burbs", or a petrolhead groupie, the Ford Falcon XR6 won the thumbs up.
According to the guide, a car is often the difference between grabbing attention and being ignored.
"Like it or not, the vehicle you drive is an indispensable part of public image," researcher Antony Otera said.
Or, of course, you could go after a woman who you actually LIKE rather than a vapid, golddigging tart with a huge rack. But who am I to argue with a great Australian tradition?