Ahh the Superbowl. That one day a year when people pretend to be interested in American Football and Don Lane gets back on our television screens. Sadly most people will probably be turned off by the fact that it doesn't contain any bandwagon teams like the Dallas Cowboys and steer well away from it. Please think of the ratings people, if Don loses his once a year gig on SBS he'll be forced to live off the royalties of Channel 9 continuously showing that footage from the Don Lane Show when he told the guy to piss off - and that's the last thing he needs.
Anyway, on Monday fortnight it will be New England vs Carolina in a game that logic says, and the bookies agree, that the Patriots (that's New England sports fans) will piss it in and for once I tend to agree. They're a week fresher, and they're just better all around. The only caveat is that any team who has won so many games in a row has to lose one sometime, and you just never know if they could choke when it comes to the big one. Perhaps if bloody Footscray hadn't beaten Essendon late in the 2000 AFL season we might have had a chance of doing them over in the Grand Final?
Yes, well anyway speaking of being bitter and twisted years later I'm still not over the 1999 edition - Superbowl XXXIII - when the crunting Denver Broncos (who I hold a grudge against to this day) beat the Atlanta Falcons 34-19 in Miami. Very depressing. Incidentally I went quite mad less than two weeks later, could the two have been connected? I doubt it.
Meanwhile Superbowl.com thoughtfully provides a list of all the musical entertainment over the years. It's a veritable goldmine of musical talent,
X - Up With People (They'd be back pretty much every year of the 1970's and provide the inspiration for The Simpsons' "Hooray For Everything")
XIV - Cheryl Ladd
XVIII - Barry Manilow
XXI - Neil Diamond
XXV - New Kids On The Block
XXII - Herb Alpert
XXVII - Garth Brooks (with OJ Simpson as celebrity coin toss guy and future murder suspect) and I quote "Michael Jackson & 3,500 local children"
XXIX - Kathie Lee Gifford
XXXI - Los Del Rio (Those old guys who did the Macarena) AND the new Blues Brothers. A massive lowpoint in entertainment history.
XXXIV - Travis Tritt
XXXV - Styx
And who could forget Gwen Stefani showing up and absolutely BUTCHERING Message In a Bottle with Sting last year. They're digging Janet Jackson up to appear this year alongside national anthem singer Beyonce (!)
USELESS FACTS: This is the first Superbowl where the two teams involved are not only not named after a city, but not after a state either. Controversial? Maybe not.
I'm pumped for it. Even if nobody else is.
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