Supermarket Slop

I’d like to preface my remarks by saying that if I worked in a supermarket I probably wouldn’t give a shit about anything either BUT…

I was standing in the queue this afternoon when I noticed a bag sitting on top of the drink machine. By the time I got to the front of the line - three hours later after price checks and people paying for everything by credit card - it was still sitting there and I thought I’d better do my duty and tell the girl behind the counter about it. After the usual “How are you?” “Yeah great” “That’s wonderful” etc.. shit that you have to go through every time you buy anything I pointed and said “Did you notice that there’s a bag sitting there on top of the drink machine?” She just kept looking at me and went “Yes!” in the finest “I’m not actually listening to you” moment of the year. “No, over there. Look a bag”. She looks over, then back at me and says “Is it yours?”

This was becoming moderately farcical. It wasn’t a matter of being worried that the thing was going to blow up and take out the Clarendon Street Coles but rather the very real possibility of somebody walking past, going “I’ll ‘ave that” and nicking it. I tried to explain this to the girl and she turned around to the lady on the checkout behind her and pointed it out. The response was “Ahh don’t worry. Somebody will come back to collect it”. A complete shambles of the highest order. Given that supermarkets are always talking up just how dodgy their shoppers are and why you should keep your bag strapped to you at all times in case somebody nicks it you’d expect that their employees would put just a bit more effort into security.

Here’s hoping that somebody nicked it and then the owner came back in and blasted everyone for not looking after it.