A year ago we unveiled the TSP 1000. A lot has happened since then. Well, a bit anyway. For one there’s been an entire year’s worth of music, and to mark down the first year in a decade that I actually took close notice of new music while at the same time almost completely ignoring the Top 40 charts and commercial radio we present TSP’s Top 30 of ‘05
The envelope please…
30. Selfish Cunt - I Love New York
29. The Rakes - Strasbourg
28. LCD Soundsystem - Losing My Edge
27. Maximo Park - The Coast Is Always Changing
26. Happy Mondays - Playground Superstar
25. The Tears - Lovers
24. Arctic Monkeys - Fake Tales of San Francisco
23. Martha Wainwright - BMFA
22. Max Graham vs Yes - Owner Of A Lonely Heart
21. Hard-Fi - Cash Machine
20. Pay TV - Refrain Refrain
19. The Strokes - Juicebox
18. The Killers - Smile Like You Mean It
17. Gwen Stefani - What You Waiting For
16. The Subways - Oh Yeah
15. Gorillaz ft. Shaun Ryder - Dare
14. Bloc Party - Price Of Gas
13. Babyshambles - Fuck Forever
12. Mylo vs Miami Sound Machine - Doctor Pressure
11. Maximo Park - Graffiti
10. Bloc Party - Two More Years (from the album Silent Alarm)
9. Goldfrapp - Slide In (from Supernature
8. The Strokes - Razor Blade (First Impressions Of Earth
7. Kaiser Chiefs - Oh My God (Employment)
6. Le Tigre - Nanny Nanny Boo Boo [Junior Senior Remix] (This Island - Remixes)
5. Bloc Party - Helicopter (Silent Alarm)
4. The Killers - Somebody Told Me (Hot Fuss
3. Goldfrapp - Ooh La La (Supernature
2. Maximo Park - Apply Some Pressure (A Certain Trigger
1. Kaiser Chiefs - I Predict A Riot (Employment)
And the worst…
Take your choice for runner-up,
* Shannon Noll “C’mon Aussie C’mon” (a #1 single, if you need further proof of what a farce the charts are)
* Band Aid 20 - Do They Know It’s Christmas
* Eminem - Like Toy Soldiers
* Eminem - Ass Like That (Use by date reached. What will westie bogans wear on their tracksuits now?)
* Green Day - Boulevard of Broken Dreams (”Oh but it’s so profound!” No, it’s complete mince)
* Green Day - Wake Me Up When September Ends (Ditto)
* Anthony Callea - Bridge Over Troubled Water
* Tamara Jaber - Ooh Ahh
* Ben Lee - Catch My Disease (The most painfully twee thing committed to record ever)
* Simple Plan - Untitled [How Can This Happen To Me?] (Well it’s not fucking untitled then is it you idiots? Not is it any good)
* Cat Empire - Car Song (They could have at least had the courtesy to cover the infinately better Elastica song of the same name)
* Schnappi - Das Klein Krokodil
* Audio Bullys ft. Nancy Sinatra - Shot You Down (Absolutely rancid remix)
* Jessica Simpson - These Boots Are Made For Walkin’
* 2Pac and Eminem - Ghetto Gospel (That 17th single after death is always the most difficult)
* The Pussycat Dolls - Dontcha
Extensive list, imagine what it would of looked like had I actually made an effort to listen to the charts? Diavolo! The undoubted winner is Crazy Frog - Axel F. Everyone above the age of 10 who purchased this song should be executed on sight. Even if they bought if for their kids.
Meanwhile what the FUCK was “Underwear Goes Inside The Pants” by Lazyboy which charted in February? And why did nobody inform me that there had been a Melissa Tkautz comeback?
Your opinion on the above may very. Which is alright, as long as you’re not attempting to defend that fucking frog. Next year? God knows. Might bring back the 1000 and give everyone another two weeks of laughs.
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