Maybe it's my natural aversion to theme restaurants (see previous diatribes against the All-Star Cafe) but there's not really anywhere else in the world I'd less rather eat than the Hard Rock Cafe.
I walked into the Melbourne version once, took one look at the ludicrously high price and another at what could best be described as slop being served allegedly as food and left again. You can't justify charging $8 for a hamburger just because you've got a couple of gold records sold by the Teen Queens for drug money hanging in the entranceway.
The worst thing about it is the slogan they have in neon over the doorway, I see this everyday and I still can't work out exactly what they're trying to get at. "No drugs or Nuclear Weapons allowed inside". I've been mulling over that for a few weeks now and I can't find an appropriate way to describe it, the best I can do is that it's just so... lame. To use my favourite word in the entire English language, it's a wankfest.
Ignoring the obvious irony of drugs and rock not being allowed to co-exist that slogan is just so weak on so many different levels it almost bursts my tiny little brain trying to work it out when I see it. Can you quite confidentally stroll in there with a shotgun and order an overpriced plate of slop? As long as it's not nuclear you should be right. Packing a vial of deadly Anthrax? You're laughing!
If I ever profess a desire to actually go there (after having sold my kidney to finance it) and a have a meal please shoot me.
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