Tuesday 1 July 2003

Elect a mentalist

What kind of psychopath would decide that George W Bush isn't right-wing enough and run against him for the Republican nomination? These idiots for starters. (Note from the future - the link to the site that originally housed these profiles has disappeared, I believe they were from politics1.com).

Thomas Fabish
Fabish is making his fourth run for President in 2004. Fabish previously ran in 1992, 1996 and 2000. In 1992, he actually qualified for the New Hampshire primary ballot -- and finished in 31st place (25 votes).

Reverend Jack Fellure 
Fellure believes that President George H.W. Bush was responsible for fanning "the flames of international, Satanic, Marxist socialism to the exclusion of our national sovereignty." Further, Fellure said that President Clinton subsequently "shifted into overdrive the socialistic, Marxist New World Order agenda." He says our country is "being destroyed by atheists, Marxists, liberals, queers, liars, draft-dodgers, flag-burners, dope addicts, sex perverts and anti-Christians." 

Michael Idrogo 
His campaign site reads like a Navy recruitment poster: "I fully support the finest Navy in the world and ALL service members and Veterans! ... Our newest Navy aircraft carriers -- 90,000 tons of diplomacy! Our UNITED STATES NAVY ... ANYTIME! ... ANYWHERE!" You can also find other odds-and-ends on his site ranging from a statement supporting a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage to a recent picture of Idrogo with a metal detector in Dealy Plaza in Dallas "searching for the truth" about the 1963 JFK assassination. 

Donnie Kennedy
Kennedy would like to use primary federal matching funds to explain "why the South was and is right!" In the aftermath of the GOP leadership dumping Senator Trent Lott's as Majority Leader for his warm comments about Strom Thurmond's 1948 segregationist Presidential campaign -- particularly Bush's role helping to push Lott out -- Kennedy decided in January 2003 to file federal paperwork to make the run. Kennedy plans to only seek ballot status only in Southern primary states. 

Millie Howard 
Millie Howard, who ran previously ran for President in 1992, 1996 and 2000, is making a fourth bid in 2004. In fact, her flexible slogan of "Millie Howard for President USA 1992 and Beyond" is easily adaptable to as many runs as Howard desires to make. 

Louis Rapuano Jr
Louis Rapuano is making his second run for President in 2004. In 2000, he briefly flirted with a White House run. This time, he's partially filed FEC paperwork four times to run -- four times, that is, because he's yet to file a completed form with the FEC. Usually, he takes the first page of the form, writes his name and address on it, and then attaches various handwritten notes about how his campaign is coming along. From his notes, he attended some college and "helps out" with his local town GOP organization. As for his net worth, he stated on questionnaire: "$25 in savings account." In case you were wondering, his political hero is Ronald Reagan and his favorite movie is Rambo. 

Then there's people who previously announced they were having a crack but quit because they're even more bonkers than the ones still running

Yehanna Joan M.M. Malone 
In her August 2002 withdrawal letter to the FEC, she wrote that she decided to attend college and earn a bachelor's degree in religious studies as a better way to "serve my God-Trinity, my Savior Jesus Christ, be more like him, and truly make a difference in this world ... Politicians have done nothing but steal from me." 

Kenneth Stremsky 
"I discuss human rights on page two of this website ... Page nine of this website has some samples of my sense of humour and my creativity ... I discuss unions on page fifteen of this website ... I am willing to answer most questions that do not deal with my health, my family, and my sex life ... I am a Renaissance person and I may answer questions truthfully in different ways at different times ... I have been in awe of the nude adult woman art form since I was a child when I used to look at paintings, pictures, and drawings of women in magazines and books ... I may pose for a nude adult art class at a college in the future ...." 

Then there's the Democratic contenders:

Yesterday we took a look at the fruitcake contingent running for the Republican presidential nomination. Today, in the interest of fair and balanced political reporting we'll check out some of the weirdos who have decided that the Democratic nomination is ripe for the picking. It's only 389 days until the Democratic National Convention! Will one of these people be there claiming victory? Probably, even if they've recieved 25 votes between them.

Thanks again to Politics1.com let's meet some lefty loons.

Warren Ashe
From the information he filed with Project Vote Smart, Mr. Ashe appears to be one of the more ... umm ... eccentric candidates in the 2004 race. Ashe says he holds a doctorate degree from North Carolina State University. Then again, Ashe also claims to have been "President, United Nations, 1973-2003 ... Appointed President, United States White House, 1981-2003 ... Candidate, United States President, 2000 ... Vice President, West Wing - Carter Administration, 1977-1981 ... [and] Vice President, West Wing - Ford Administration, 1973-1977." He also claims to be a Navy veteran, an Army veteran AND an Air Force veteran. And he writes he owns a $40 million corporation, too.

Jerry Beck
Beck says the current welfare system "supports the undeserving and does not help the hardworking man down on his luck." His other concern is restoring prayer to public schools to affirm moral values. Beck previously ran for President in 1996 and 2000, but failed to secure ballot status in any primary states.

Sanderson Beck
His platform can be summed up in the following statement: "We need to learn how to make peace and establish justice ... by protecting everyone's rights, learning how to share our wealth rather than merely exploit people, and trust in democratic institutions that recognize the votes of all. We need a steady process of disarmament with very careful inspection so that no individual, group, or state can terrorize other people. Finally, we need world democracy that can enforce law fairly for all, not a group of powerful nations imposing their selfish will with national military forces."

James Bollinger
Mr. Bollinger also seems to have exaggerated his credentials a bit. Bollinger claims he is former Assistant Secretary of the Navy, Assistant Advisor to the United States Mint, Under Secretary of [Not Specified Department] for Economic Affairs, Business Advisor to Congress, and "Bird Watcher, Forest Service United States."

Willie Carter
His political experience seems limited to his membership in the Gardena Valley Democratic Club of Southern California.

Randolph Crow
In an email to Politics1 in 2000, Crow explained his motives: "I am involved in politics to get rid of filthy communists and lots of others." He also believes the FBI blew up TWA Flight 800 with a laser and shot down Missouri Governor Mel Carnahan's 2000 campaign plane. On his website, Crow repeatedly expresses open hatred towards Jews (Example: "Vietnam was a zioni$t manipulated War designed to kill our Christian kids and install na$i communi$t zioni$m in the Vietnam region"). 

Most of the contents of Crow's site, however, appear to be rambling conspiracy tirades against various envisioned enemies: "It has been 13 years since the FBI fessed up to the fact they were investigating me. All my files are classified ... In 1994 the Federal Force manipulated a bunch of mess which questioned my sanity ... I think the Force had some weird blood work done on me or possibly put a computer chip in me." Crow was upset that we quoted these various passages so he printed a rather long, rambling screed on the site denouncing Politics1 as a "zioni$t" tool out to destroy him (he even attacked us for referring to him above as -- gasp -- a "former realtor" because, he notes, he only dabbled in real estate in the past).

Albert Hamburg
Perennial candidate Al Hamburg has lost 14 consecutive bids for President and for Governor, US Senate and Congress. He proudly describes himself as the "Very Independent UNPOPULAR Candidate" -- unpopular, he explains, because the special interests and bureaucrats hate him (well, that ... and maybe also because of the Nazi helmet he's wearing in his photo).

James Prattas
His autobiographic story -- from his 2000 campaign site -- told of near death experiences (including meeting God and seeing angels), meeting celebrities, his fights with the US military after being wounded in Vietnam, death threats against him by the Hawaiian Mafia, a plot by President G.H.W. Bush's friends to have him arrested when he wanted to challenge Bush in the 1992 race, his past use of marijuana, his divorce, and more.

Oloveuse Savior
Ole Savior, an eccentric artist and poet, has been a frequent candidate in Minnesota over the years for many federal, state and local offices. He usually finishes around the back the of the pack -- but he keeps on running. His top three concerns are a "nuclear-free world, [ending] world hunger, and better education for all mankind." His favorite movie is The Terminator, his favorite TV show is X-Files and his favorite book is the Bible's Book of Revelations. If elected, he promises to "create a new and more peaceful world for the next generation of children."

And their withdrawn candidates...

Steven Malloy
Malloy filed FEC paperwork in 2001 declaring his "world wide" candidacy for President. In April 2003, he sent the FEC a letter "retracting" his candidacy.

Kenneth McFaddin
Kenneth McFaddin reported to the FEC that he raised just $25 for his campaign, before he withdrew from the race in September 2002.

And finally... the characters from the minor parties. Strap yourselves in for a wild ride.

Jeffrey Diket (Libertarian)
This is one candidate who clearly dislikes the "Libertarian Party is Pro-Choice on Everything" buttons sold on the national party's website. Jeffrey Diket -- a social conservative seemingly at odds with much of the LP's views -- announced his candidacy for the LP Presidential nomination in April 2003. Diket told the LP News he is running as a "pro-life, anti-communist" candidate. Diket said he will focus his campaign on "the abortion issue, limitation of government through financial means, foreign policy, and the drug war." In what is clearly a slap at the party's laissez faire embrace of the gay community, Diket vows that he will "seek the support of advocates of family values instead of deviates." Diket also seeming opposes the LP's desire to legalize narcotics -- as he supports "the use of drugs to cure diseases instead of catering to addicts." Diket, 57 and legally blind, holds a master's degree in medieval history and is a freelance jazz musician in New Orleans.

Dave Hollist (Libertarian)
"If you vote for me to become the President, I will work to protect all Americans from anyone who tries to rob us. I will introduce contract insurance, which is a way that we can operate our government without taxation. During the last century, Americans eliminated the disease of slavery from our beautiful nation. This century, we should eliminate taxes,"

L. Neil Smith (Libertarian)
L. Neil Smith, a published science fiction novelist with a libertarian ideological bent, was initially the subject of a supposed draft campaign in 2000. Calling themselves the "Ad Hoc Conspiracy to Draft L. Neil Smith," they tried to generate support to "convince" Smith to run. Although the organizers initially wanted Smith to seek the Liberarian Party nomination, a cranky Smith first said he would rather run as an Independent. Although a LP member, Smith said he would not likely seek the LP nod because "the clique that owns the party would still find an excuse to reject my candidacy." Instead, Smith told the draft organizers he would run for President as an Independent if they first collect 1,000,000 signatures of voters urging him to run. Later, Smith issued a new statement clarifying that he would agree to run as the LP nominee if his supporters could secure him the 2000 nomination. Smith also sent this message for the Draft Committee: "For now, if you wish to help, buy my books ." That -- and numerous other similar comments and posting -- made it clear that Smith was directly involved in the efforts of the so-called "draft" campaign and was actively seeking the LP nomination.

Julian Heicklen (Libertarian)
At Penn State, the colorful Heicklen -- who calls the War on Drugs "ridiculous" -- organized weekly "Marijuana Smoke Outs". He has publicly smoked marijuana to defy the Drug War, sued various government agencies for violating the Constitution, participated in non-violent sit-ins, and been arrested many times for defying restrictions on free speech and public assembly. He hoped to organize a grassroots effort to win the nomination, but found the task too daunting.

Earl Dodge (Prohibition Party)
Earl Dodge has been National Chairman of the Prohibition Party since 1979 (and he did a stint as National Chair once before in 1958-62). He has also been the party's nominee for President five times in the past, for Vice President twice, for US Senate, and five times for Colorado Governor. Dodge told Politics1 in February 2002 that he will again be the party's Presidential nominee for 2004 "unless we can find someone better." Apparently, the party didn't "find someone better" because Dodge is making his sixth White House bid as the party's nominee for President.

E. Geoff Braasch (Socialist)
He wants to use his campaign to "bring the message [of socialism] to the picket lines, union halls, churches, universities and colleges, farms, parks. We will go door to door in the working class neighborhoods as well as in the inner cities." He also vows that -- if nominated -- he will be "full-time" candidate for President.

Barbara Garson (Socialist)
Barbara Garson -- a Pulitzer Prize winning journalist, author and playwright -- was the SP-USA's replacement nominee for Vice President in 1992 (after the original nominee died). Both the Greens and the Socialists have tried unsuccessfully to draft this self-described "little old Jewish lady" in recent years to run for various offices.

David McReynolds (Socialist)
McReynolds likes to describe himself as "a badly read Marxist and a Gandhian pacifist" who "never found the perfect formula to blend Marx and Gandhi." Born in 1929, McReynolds emailed Politics1 that we could also add to his profile: "Homosexual, no children. Lives with two Siamese cats in East Village since 1956. Religious Atheist."

AJ Albritton (American Republican Party)
Albritton describes the purpose of his campaign as follows: "The American candidate who is also the Victorian Candidate. The Victorian Era to be the New Model Victorian Era -- from the male point of view." Huh? He promises a "new model Star Spangled Banner" and relocation of the federal capitol.

Joseph Bellis III (America's Party)
Bellis says he is a "strict constructionist conservative." He wants to outlaw all abortions, end federal involvement in public education, transfer most crime-fighting powers to the states, withdraw the US from the United Nations and the World Bank, cancel the NAFTA and GATT treaties, tighten immigration restrictions, repeal the 16th amendment (and abolish the IRS), and block "the socialization of American medicine." He vows to run an "internet-based campaign." And he's changed his slogan again -- now he's "The Quiet Voice for a Conservative America."

Henri Calitri (Independant)
Henri Calitri sent Politics1 a lengthy, handwritten note explaining that he plans to run for President in 2004. It also set forth his rather ... umm ... unusual platform. Here are some excerpts from Calitri's note: "My political party believes in expressing as many laws to put forth as can possibly be conceived ... My dreams consist of forming a unit composed of a modern couple who will assimilate information on the magic techniques of penis enlargement through articles in popular magazines and medical journals ... I am looking forward to creating a large research office in discovering immortality for a human being to live till the age of 925 years ... At this time, I believe that I must become the President of the United States of America, or something similar, to be able to effectively do this. I want human beings to survive, most certainly on earth, as a beautiful organism, in sync with all aliens also living in this zone of space, occuring in the dimension [of] Hell." Huh? From other info found on the net, Calitri is apparently an Aries, a tow truck operator and involved in pagan/wiccan groups. He's also written an article about how tow trucks would have been useful to the ancient Egyptians during the building of the great pyramids.

Fred Cook (Independant)
After briefly contemplating a run for Congress, retired school teacher Fred Cook decided to instead make a write-in bid for President in 2000 after "nearly 50 people showed up at my front door ... [and] urged me to run for political office." By March 2000, Cook boasted that he was going to "steal the election away" because a "national online poll" had him at 34%. Of course, the poll he referenced was the one he himself conducted on his own web site! Needless to say, his 2000 campaign fizzled (he claims he won 4,217 write-in votes -- but official election statistics compiled by the FEC and others reflect that he won only a handful of write-in votes).

John Galt Jr. (Independant)
A writer, this candidate explains that he assumed the identity "John Galt Jr." several years ago after being deeply influenced by the John Galt character in Ayn Rand's classic libertarian novel Atlas Shrugged. Galt is waging a write-in campaign for President in 2004, just as he did in 2000.

Jack Grimes (United Facist Union)
Jack Grimes -- who previously ran for President as a write-in candidate in 2000 -- bills himself as the "Leader and Director of the United Fascist Union." As for his use of the word "Fascist," Grimes explains he wants to restore a New World Order based upon the governmental style of Imperial Rome "to institute a military dictatorship form of government over the Earth." Grimes believes that "the psychic is the next great step in the evolution of humankind on this planet." And it gets more weird: Grimes wants to address "the dilemmas now facing America and the whole of Western civilization: Democracy, Christianity, International Capitalism, Earth Changes, U.F.O.'s, government cover-ups, and others." Citing to Cayce and Nostradamus, Grimes predicts that "the United States will be reduced from its present size to a small triangular-shaped land mass through the loss of many of its coastal states."

Keith Judd (Independant)
Judd, who described himself as a bongo drums "musician" when he last ran for office, was a write-in candidate for Albuquerque Mayor in 1993. Judd attempted to qualify as a write-in candidate for New Mexico Governor in 1994, but abandoned that race. In 2000, he filed paperwork to run as a write-in candidate -- but showed no signs of waging any campaign. Judd -- who has since moved to a new state -- filed paperwork in Florida to again run as a write-in candidate for President in 2004.

Muadin (E-Democratic Party)
Muadin -- yup, he just uses one name -- is an announced write-in candidate for President. What does he stand for? Here are his own words:

"The people of earth must use the Internet to network and organize at the grassroots level, outside of the corporate global power structure, in a leaderless revolution of awareness and ideas, a second enlightenment, aimed at establishing e-democracy at every level of human government and in every aspect of human society and affairs. The e-democratic spirit of this leaderless cyber-revolution must culminate in a planetary e-democratic federal government through which all executive, legislative, judicial, and economic power ultimately rests directly in the hands of the people of earth." This focus includes is a requirement that Congressmen and US Senators must vote based upon e-votes on each issue cast by their constitutuents -- and that the federal government be changed from three branches into five branches (don't ask!). Other positions in his platform include a 10% flat tax, abolition of the death penalty, a constitutional ban on political parties (so all candidates must run as Independents), federal term limits, separate national election of the Vice President, repeal of the Second Amendment (gun rights) ... in fact, when we last checked, Muadin was proposing 18 constitutional amendments. If you dig through Muadin's off-beat campaign site, you can also find pix of Muadin badly cropped into poses in the White House ... and a picture of "future First Lady" Jessica Muadin (who, unlike her husband, has a full name). Muadin describes himself as a motivational speaker and President of the Planet Pilgrims Center for E-Democracy and Planetary Awareness.

Andisheh Nouraee (Independant)
Andy -- as he is simply identified throughout his campaign web site -- waged a rather racy and unusual run for President in 2000. Along with links to music and photography interests, Andy's site also gave "shopping" tips to would-be Y2K looters ("Steel garbage cans aren’t just useful for breaking storefront windows, you can also use them to carry away looted goods"). He also recommends an array of rather graphic sex books in the "notebook" section of his site. Among his various campaign slogans: "I'm So F***ing President", "Putting the 'racy' back in democracy" and "Putting the 'vice' back in service." In his humorous 2000 concession speech -- posted on the site in English and Spanish -- he wrote that he plans to "resume the writing and distribution of petulant, self-serving essays with the intent of positioning myself well for winning the presidency in 2004." Presumably, that means a second run is in the works.

Jeffrey Peters (Independant)
Peters grabbed a few headlines in October 2000 with his "Boston TV Party" -- when he vowed to dump some TV sets into Boston harbor to protest the exclusion of third party candidates (like himself) from the first Bush-Gore Presidential Debate in Boston.

Andrew Rotramel (Independant)
It's hard to take a Presidential candidate seriously when his campaign site is peppered with comments like "When I die, I want my remains scattered in a nice wooded area. The only catch is that I don't want to be cremated first" and "One of my resolutions for this year my resolution is to do something useful around the house each day, like flush." Rotramel readily admits he has no chance of winning. Instead, he wants to "make my positions on various issues known. I hope to influence some to a more enlightened way of seeing the world." His liberal platform includes abolishing the death penalty, legalizing prostitution and narcotic drugs, and amending the constitutional Bill of Rights to guarantee a right to food, shelter and health care. He also wants to make anarchist professor Noam Chomsky -- who recently called the US the "world's leading state sponsor of terrorism" -- the National Security Advisor.

Dan Snow (Independant)
He is also very active in groups related to bass fishing. He was the two-time President of the Kentucky Bass Federation, a Founding Board Member of the Bass Research Foundation, and the first Chairman of the Angler's Advisory Committee to the Bass Research Foundation. When President Carter loosened travel restrictions to Cuba, Snow was the first to organize a group trip there (and, yes, it was a bass fishing group). If elected, he promises to "restore the 'freedom to travel' for the American people." As for foreign policy, he condemned the Iraq war against Saddam Hussein as "an illegal and immoral war." He also supports abolishing the IRS, establishing a system of universal health care, the election of federal judges, legalization of prostitution and drugs, ending the tax-exempt status for churches, passage of the livable wage, and "an end to vulgar and profane music being played on public TV and radio."

Da Vid (The Light Party)
Da Vid is the nominee of "The Light Party" -- which is a political entity entirely controlled by party founder "Da Vid, M.D., Wholistic Physician, Human Ecologist & Artist."

When you join the Light Party (cost: a $33 donation), Vid will send you a CD of New Age music and a music video" designed to inspire, delight, heal & enlighten" ... but, wait, there's more. If you join now, he'll throw in a "Wholistic Health Maintenance and Rejuvenation Manual" and other groovy stuff ... operators are waiting for your call. He says that he is not running to win votes, but rather to focus attention on some issues he really cares about -- and says that "millions of people" support the goals of his political movement.

Kurt Weber-Heller (Christian Phalangist Party of American)
Weber-Heller co-founded the CFPA in 1985. A "Falangist" -- just in case you've forgotten -- is a follower of the authoritarian political views advocated by the late Spanish dictator Francisco Franco (to wit: largely a blend of 1930s fascist ideology, strong nationalism and conservative Catholic theology). Outside of Spain, Falanagists in Lebanan succeeded in electing Bashir Gemayel as President in 1982 -- but he was assassinated by Muslim terrorists before taking office. The CFPA "is dedicated to fighting the 'Forces of Darkness' which seeks to destroy Western Christian Civilization." The CFPA site explicitly defines "Forces of Darkness" as being "Radical Islam, Communism/Socialism, the New World Order, the New Age movement, Third Position/Neo-Nazis, Free Masons, Abortionists, Euthanasianists, Radical Homosexuals and Pornographers." Numerous attacks against Islam can be found throughout the CFPA site. Yet, despite this lengthy list of foes that it wishes to destroy -- umm, "defend" themselves against (the wording they use) -- the CFPA helpfully notes it is "not a hate organization and does not condone acts of violence or hatred towards those of differing or opposing viewpoints and lifestyles, nor does it condone racism in any form."

Tom Wells (Family Values Part)
Wells is running for President again in 2004 for the same reason that he founded the ultra-conservative, theocratic party: because -- explains Wells on his site -- God directly spoke to him in his bedroom on December 25, 1994 at 2:00 a.m. and commanded him to do so. Wells' political platform is largely derived from religious fundamentalism -- including numerous citations to Biblical passages -- with an ultimate goal of banning all abortions ("the premeditated murdering of GOD'S innocent children"). He is also opposed to homosexuality, tobacco products, tattoos, alcohol, drugs and gambling -- and supports all of the Ten Commandments. If you disagree with any of these views, Wells writes on his site you are not allowed to contribute any money to his campaign.

James Wright (Independant)
Wright -- along with runningmate Leonard "Len" Foster -- are conservatives who denounce both major parties, former President Clinton, the FBI, etc. Like several others listed on this page, the Wright-Foster team is running an Internet-based campaign under the banner of "Independence USA." Blasting "politicians, corporations, and foreign powers," Foster vows to return control of "America to the Americans" and protect individual rights. Wright was previously a write-in candidate for President in 1992 and 2000. Except for adding a mid-page reference to the Wright Presidential Campaign 2004, it is hard to find any updates to the site since his 2000 run

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