Wednesday, 19 January 2005
Un-PC
I’m sure hearts are in the right place, but I couldn’t help but wonder what they were thinking when I saw an ad for the,
“RUN FOR THEIR LIVES
Tsunami Appeal Fun Run”
Some date. Can’t remember when. Vastly inappropriate name or what? Does this actually exist or was somebody trying to crack funnies?
Bumper to bumper the avenue’s packed
Ever since I got my licence I’ve been waiting to see some good old-fashioned, stressed-out road rage.
Not full-scale 'Club Lock to the head' action here, because that’s just nasty, but rather somebody wigging out in traffic and making a dick of themselves. Finally this morning all my automobile dreams came true.
Slowly creeping along Queens Road to take my shitbox car to the mechanic AGAIN (sympathy cards c/o TSP Towers) I glanced into my rear-view-mirror and noticed that the motorist behind me was going off his nut. This isn't uncommon given that I usually drive 5kmh below the speed limit due to dubious speedometer readings, but with traffic travelling at walking pace anyway it wasn't my fault.
I thought he must have been on the phone but upon closer inspection it was surely impossible. It looked as if he were turning red, he was waving his hands around in the air and hitting the steering wheel. It was like watching one of those ye olde ‘Hitler on a Balcony’ speeches. With additional steering wheel. Words don’t do justice to the tantrum.
He then tried to change lanes for about five minutes but hilariously nobody let him in.
Usually I’m a major advocate of random acts of kindness on the road but in this case, after watching him denounce something or other (possibly me) for all that time I started to find it quite amusing. Eventually, after much gnashing and violence, he managed to get into the centre lane only to see it slow to a crawl instead. How I laughed. But not too obviously lest he run me off the road and kick my head in. Eventually he got it right and went past me into the distance never to be seen again. We salute you O’ mighty Queens Road lunatic.
Tuesday, 18 January 2005
RIP Lath Daddy
“Kick the ALP when they’re down Week” continues here at TSP.
Kim Beazley launched his third bid to reclaim the Labor leadership after Opposition Leader Mark Latham quit politics to save his health.
But Mr Beazley faces a battle when Labor MPs vote for their new leader next week, with party sources expecting frontbenchers Kevin Rudd and Julia Gillard to run against him.
Bitter recriminations following last year’s disastrous election loss came to a head on Tuesday when Mr Latham ended months of leadership speculation and quit.
His resignation brought to an end a turbulent 13 months as leader, marked by some early wins over the government but scarred by his aggressive style and a disastrous election loss.
The 43-year-old, who has been suffering from pancreatitis, resigned after weeks of criticism about his silence over the tsunami disaster and his attempt to keep his illness secret.
He blamed ill-health and the media for his decision.
“Public office can take it out of people and, after 17 years and two serious life-threatening illnesses, the time has come to put my family and my health first,” Mr Latham told reporters.
Now I feel sympathy for him - he’s sick and I wish him all the best - but isn’t this another addition to the “If he’d won the election it would have been a farce” file? Would he have chucked the PM’s job in three months after he started?
I’ll be punting J. Gillard home in the leadership race. When your party has hit rock bottom and couldn’t get any lamer then you may as well try something new.
The real question is, if Beazley wins will Howard or Costello be celebrating harder? JH might never give up if he sees that’s all he’s up against. And if he does Pistol Pete will have a good 10 years of his own as PM.
UPDATE - I really don’t mind Beazley personally but his time has come and gone. Try something new rather than a 3 time loser.
UPDATE 2.0 - We kicked the Democrats post election and look forward to sinking the slipper into the Government when they really hit the skids too.
UPDATE 3.0 - Which is doesn’t look as if they’ll ever be doing,
Say hello to another 20 years of Liberal Federal Government. *spit*
Monday, 17 January 2005
Amateur political analysis
Is it just me or is anybody else sick to f’ing death of the federal ALP? The continuing saga over their leadership bores me to tears. The entire world knows that Latham is fucked - here’s an artists rendition of his future,
But what are they going to do instead? I piss myself laughing every time I hear somebody mention Beazley getting another crack at the job. He’s got a worse win-loss record that Fitzroy and they’re expecting him to make a massive comeback and actually get it right this time? Are these people completely mad? It’s like they’re trying to pull an Ali G Indahouse style scam and pick a candidate everyone knows is a dud only to see him pull of a triumphant, against-the-odds victory by asking the hard questions (”And I put it to YOU…… that you sucked off a ‘orse!”) An interesting tactic. A crap one too.
And who else is there? Gonna bring back Crean? Yeah right. Rudd? Hah, good luck with that. Gillard? I’ve seen her yell a bit - put her on the shortlist. Smith/Swan/Tanner - who the fuck are they? Are they absolute cunts? Because that’s what I want to see in a leader. I want an opposition leader who is a complete bastard and I want him/her now. When Latham had his tilt at the leadership I applauded but when he turned out to be a total softcock and not the hard drinkin’, abuse dishin’, taxi driver snappin’ hardman he’d been made out to be I was shattered. But such was the poor choice offered I ended up voting for him anyway.
I’m aware that it’s become obvious that most of the voters in this country are in love with Le Grande Cock (public disclosure: I voted for him once) and that you wouldn’t have shifted him out of office at the election with a nuclear bomb - and I’m fine with that, it was fair and democratic and shit - but it doesn’t mean they didn’t have to give up before the thing even started. “Let’s put the word GOLD into one of our policies. Because people are like, you know, still high on the Olympics”. And did anyone actually hear the great asylum seeker tilt raised once during the campaign? I know they were hardly likely to convert many of the hardcore Liberal support with such a plot but it can’t ever hurt to use blatantly available evidence to make your opposition look like total arseholes. Break out some footage of kiddies behind bars and go for your life. Or not if you’re the Labor Party.
And what was with holding a review right after the election and admitting that their policies were crap? Everyone knew that anyway - hence why they didn’t win - but what does that do for the one or two people who actually converted to them this time around? What are they going to think when the next election rolls out and some more dubious policies are distributed eh? They’ll probably think that their new leader (pictured here) is talking complete crap - again. I’m no Laurie Oakes (I’m working on my manboobs) but even I can see it’s a bit of a shambles.
Oh for an electable alternative to the Liberals. And don’t say the Greens because I’ll piss myself. During my days of junior facism I always used to drop subtle hints to the saner people about ditching the lunatics and starting a better party but nobody ever bit. Even when the hints were as subtle as “Hey, let’s ditch the lunatics and start a new party”.
Talk to me here people. Could it ever be done? I doubt it. You’d end up like one of these groups who sit on the Senate ballot paper and get the piss taken out of them by everyone. Like the Democrats. In fact let’s just buy the ‘crats out for like $25, change their name and take possession immediately.
But what are they going to do instead? I piss myself laughing every time I hear somebody mention Beazley getting another crack at the job. He’s got a worse win-loss record that Fitzroy and they’re expecting him to make a massive comeback and actually get it right this time? Are these people completely mad? It’s like they’re trying to pull an Ali G Indahouse style scam and pick a candidate everyone knows is a dud only to see him pull of a triumphant, against-the-odds victory by asking the hard questions (”And I put it to YOU…… that you sucked off a ‘orse!”) An interesting tactic. A crap one too.
And who else is there? Gonna bring back Crean? Yeah right. Rudd? Hah, good luck with that. Gillard? I’ve seen her yell a bit - put her on the shortlist. Smith/Swan/Tanner - who the fuck are they? Are they absolute cunts? Because that’s what I want to see in a leader. I want an opposition leader who is a complete bastard and I want him/her now. When Latham had his tilt at the leadership I applauded but when he turned out to be a total softcock and not the hard drinkin’, abuse dishin’, taxi driver snappin’ hardman he’d been made out to be I was shattered. But such was the poor choice offered I ended up voting for him anyway.
I’m aware that it’s become obvious that most of the voters in this country are in love with Le Grande Cock (public disclosure: I voted for him once) and that you wouldn’t have shifted him out of office at the election with a nuclear bomb - and I’m fine with that, it was fair and democratic and shit - but it doesn’t mean they didn’t have to give up before the thing even started. “Let’s put the word GOLD into one of our policies. Because people are like, you know, still high on the Olympics”. And did anyone actually hear the great asylum seeker tilt raised once during the campaign? I know they were hardly likely to convert many of the hardcore Liberal support with such a plot but it can’t ever hurt to use blatantly available evidence to make your opposition look like total arseholes. Break out some footage of kiddies behind bars and go for your life. Or not if you’re the Labor Party.
And what was with holding a review right after the election and admitting that their policies were crap? Everyone knew that anyway - hence why they didn’t win - but what does that do for the one or two people who actually converted to them this time around? What are they going to think when the next election rolls out and some more dubious policies are distributed eh? They’ll probably think that their new leader (pictured here) is talking complete crap - again. I’m no Laurie Oakes (I’m working on my manboobs) but even I can see it’s a bit of a shambles.
Oh for an electable alternative to the Liberals. And don’t say the Greens because I’ll piss myself. During my days of junior facism I always used to drop subtle hints to the saner people about ditching the lunatics and starting a better party but nobody ever bit. Even when the hints were as subtle as “Hey, let’s ditch the lunatics and start a new party”.
Talk to me here people. Could it ever be done? I doubt it. You’d end up like one of these groups who sit on the Senate ballot paper and get the piss taken out of them by everyone. Like the Democrats. In fact let’s just buy the ‘crats out for like $25, change their name and take possession immediately.
Sunday, 16 January 2005
Go the tonk
I’d hardly consider myself a cricket purist - in fact I’d be lucky to refer to myself as a cricket fan even though I watch a few of the games and know what’s going on. I’ve always preferred One Day games over the tedious four or five days of directing traffic that is the test match but I will not, NOT be sucked in by this 20/20 craze that’s going around.
The beauty of the 50 over game is that batsmen will occasionally go mad and start smashing balls into the crowd like there was no tomorrow. It’s a novelty, and that’s why everyone goes off for it. But now they’re busting out a code of the game where you’re socially ostracised if you don’t smash a fifty off 20 balls. And it’ll be huge. Personally I think it’d be tedious to go along expecting to see 6’s and 4’s delivered off every ball. The only person this is good for is Brett Lee - finally a version of the game where he can be tonked all over the park and come out with his credability intact.
It’s precisely the same reason that millions of people are ten-pin bowling around the country as we speak but the sport can’t even get on television during the cricket ad-breaks anymore. When you bowling and get a strike it’s a novelty, you jump around like a tosser and bust out some sort of spontaneous celebration. Well I do anyway. I once got 5 strikes in a row on the way to a lifetime high of 210 - then in going for the 6th one I totally choked and got one pin. So what happens when you watch bowling on television? Strikes, strikes and more strikes. If they only get 9 it’s a national tragedy. And it’s deadly boring. Same thing every time - person lobs ball, it slides to the left a bit and some pins fall down. This form of cricket will be - bowler lobs ball, batsman smacks it, some runs are scored.
No, you can keep your 20/20. I’ll be going to the Melbourne FC vs Collingwood FC charity match just to see Colin Sylvia going the tonk but this is the only time that it should be used - for charity matches. Clearly it’s all a big cynical scam to try and get the Americans to start watching the sport. Good luck with that - you’ll need it.
The beauty of the 50 over game is that batsmen will occasionally go mad and start smashing balls into the crowd like there was no tomorrow. It’s a novelty, and that’s why everyone goes off for it. But now they’re busting out a code of the game where you’re socially ostracised if you don’t smash a fifty off 20 balls. And it’ll be huge. Personally I think it’d be tedious to go along expecting to see 6’s and 4’s delivered off every ball. The only person this is good for is Brett Lee - finally a version of the game where he can be tonked all over the park and come out with his credability intact.
It’s precisely the same reason that millions of people are ten-pin bowling around the country as we speak but the sport can’t even get on television during the cricket ad-breaks anymore. When you bowling and get a strike it’s a novelty, you jump around like a tosser and bust out some sort of spontaneous celebration. Well I do anyway. I once got 5 strikes in a row on the way to a lifetime high of 210 - then in going for the 6th one I totally choked and got one pin. So what happens when you watch bowling on television? Strikes, strikes and more strikes. If they only get 9 it’s a national tragedy. And it’s deadly boring. Same thing every time - person lobs ball, it slides to the left a bit and some pins fall down. This form of cricket will be - bowler lobs ball, batsman smacks it, some runs are scored.
No, you can keep your 20/20. I’ll be going to the Melbourne FC vs Collingwood FC charity match just to see Colin Sylvia going the tonk but this is the only time that it should be used - for charity matches. Clearly it’s all a big cynical scam to try and get the Americans to start watching the sport. Good luck with that - you’ll need it.
Molly Mania
Who amongst us doesn’t secretly hang out for the summer Rage schedule? I’m confident in saying that the only good thing about this season is seeing hours upon hours of old episodes of Countdown of a Saturday night/Sunday morning. It’s far more fun when you’re off your face - but sadly tonight I tackle this task sober.
October 7th, 1984. I love the way they don’t do this in any logical order - the last one was from 1987 and the next one will probably be the one from 1983 where Toni Basil guest hosts and sings her second single.
Guest hosted by “the cast of Sweet ‘n Sour”. I take it that they’re some sort of 80’s comedy troupe. Either that or all three of them are on the gear because they’re highly excitable.
The show in it’s entirety,
(LIVE) * The Cure - “Shake Dog Shake”
National Chartbusters
(CLIP) * David Bowie - “Blue Jean” (”up 10 places!” - Countdown. “Rubbish!” - Adam)
(CLIP) * Black Lace - “Agadoo” (Fuck you all - it was in the top ten in Sydney and Adelaide. Proves everything I’ve ever said about those particular cities. Almost certainly the worst song ever. And the tightest leather pants ever on the singer. For some reason the caption “THIS SEEMS LIKE FUN” comes up on the screen halfway through)
(CLIP) * Cyndi Lauper - “She Bop”
Yes it’s sad that I’ve basically just blogged an entire episode of Countdown. It wasn’t really labor intensive - I promise.
(CLIP) * Twisted Sister - “We’re Not Gonna Take It” (Pushed into the National Top 30 because of it’s popularity in Melbourne. You may snicker but it’s better than what Adelaide and Sydney were buying. Has anyone else ever thought of what a child abusing asshole the guy in the video for that song was?)
/Chartbusters
(VIDEO) * The Takeaways - “Glam To Wham” - From ‘Sweet ‘n’ Sour’ apparently. Doesn’t give any better indication of what the show was about but it sounds like a really povo Australian attempt to do a James Bond theme song.
(VIDEO/INTERVIEW) * Jermaine Jackson - “Dynamite” - Clip involves a jail break, a fat woman on the phone and JJ himself wearing some sort of orange and light blue jumpsuit thing. The highlight was his ’stoned like there’s no tomorrow’ throw to the song and the wet look mullet he sports during his brief interview with Molly.
Sweet ‘n Sour are back and plug their various projects before the chick mistakenly throws to a Stevie Wonder videoclip and has to be saved by a co-host. At this point they go to,
(LIVE) * Steven Cummings - “Another Kick In The Head”. I’d be tempted to say that he was off his face as well but I think he always looked like that. Unlikely to appear on any klassic kompilation of Aussie hits anytime soon. I’d like to go back 20 years and yell at him to do “Who Listens To The Radio”. Christ, this one goes on a bit.
(VIDEO) * Bon Jovi - “She Don’t Know Me”. Does a pre-video “Hi, I’m Jon Bon Jovi” link whilst sporting the biggest poodle hair mullet I’ve ever seen. He’s been the most sober looking person on the show yet. You know that’s wrong.
(VIDEO) * John Justin - “It’s Magic”. They’re only pushing him because they were the first show to feature him and were presumably hoping to cash in when he got famous. Not the worst song of the era but the video is complete bollocks. He rises a horse and horns onto a big breasted blonde woman. Then he breaks out a Jack O Lantern. What’s magic about Halloween? As the video goes on I start to dislike him and his song more and more. Where are they now? Write in. Were you inappropriately groped by Molly?
More uncertain attempts at comedy from the hosts.
(VIDEO) * ZZ Top - “Legs”. Pretty much the only thing that you still see. What was up with the ritual workplace abuse that the girl copped in this video? Thank god that dancing skanks and beardos show up and kick ass.
(LIVE) * Liquid Engineers - “Help Me”. Anyone who steals their name from a Gary Numan song is alright in my book. Even if they sport giant blonde mullets and sing a shit song. Apparently their first TV appearance. Almost certainly their last.
(VIDEO) * Stevie Wonder - “I Just Called To Say I Love You”. Cue a million people simultaneously coming up with a ‘Red Faces’ act. At the time this was the fastest selling single in British history. As if they didn’t have something better to be buying in 1984.
More awful comedy.
Humdrum
Molly on a street in Hollywood (offering?). Looks as if he’s wearing a giant wig under the hat for some reason. Talks up Cyndi Lauper.
US Top 5
5 - Lauper - “She Bop”
4 - John Waite - “Missing You”
3 - The Cars - “Drive”
2 - Stevie Wonder - “I Just Called To Say I Love You”
1 - Prince - “Let’s Go Crazy”
A terrifying zoom in onto Meldrum leads to a preview of,
(CLIP) Culture Club - “The War Song”
UK Top 5
5 - Sister Sledge - “Lost In Music”
4 - U2 - “Pride”
3 - Culture Club - “The War Song”
2 - Ray Parker Jr - “Ghostbusters”
1 - The aforementioned Stevie Wonder
Mad hair Molly is back to talk to Olivia Newton-John in one of her Koala Blue stores. There was a business venture with legs. She actually describes Purple Rain as one of the “most exciting films I’ve ever seen”. Molly then talks up the future acting prospect of Billy Idol and winks at the camera. Eek.
(VIDEO) - Billy Idol - “Flesh For Fantasy”. There’s plenty of booty slapping going on and does that dumbass sneer thing a lot. He really loses “bad boy” credability by busting out a video chock full of choreographed dancing.
/Humdrum
Australian Top 10 clips,
10 - Pointer Sisters - “Jump”
9 - Elton John - “Passengers”
8 - Bruce Springsteen - “Dancing In The Dark”
7 - ZZ Top - “Legs”
6 - Tina Turner - “What’s Love Got To Do With It”
5 - John Waite - “Missing You”
4 - U2 - “Pride”
3 - Ray Parker Jr. - “Ghostbusters”
2 - Stevie bloody Wonder again
1 - George Michael - “Careless Whisper”
The show, for some unknown bloody reason, ends with alarmingly large drag artiste Divine singing something entitled “You Think You’re A Man”. Sadly there’s no Pink Flamingos style dogshit eating live on stage. Probably the gayest thing ever seen on Australian television to that point in history. I can just see thousands of red hot Aussie bogan males ripping televisions out of the wall and declaring that they’ll never watch the ABC again. The song is pretty awful. Obviously they couldn’t sign the real #1 to come in and sing so they went for this instead.
And that’s it. I’m Adam 1.0. Goodnight Australia.
UPDATE - Yes I’m aware that I’ve just blogged an entire episode of Countdown from two decades ago. What else am I going to do? Do you expect me to sleep in these wretched conditions?
UPDATE 2 - How obvious was that? The next episode goes all the way back to 1978. I tipped this.
October 7th, 1984. I love the way they don’t do this in any logical order - the last one was from 1987 and the next one will probably be the one from 1983 where Toni Basil guest hosts and sings her second single.
Guest hosted by “the cast of Sweet ‘n Sour”. I take it that they’re some sort of 80’s comedy troupe. Either that or all three of them are on the gear because they’re highly excitable.
The show in it’s entirety,
(LIVE) * The Cure - “Shake Dog Shake”
National Chartbusters
(CLIP) * David Bowie - “Blue Jean” (”up 10 places!” - Countdown. “Rubbish!” - Adam)
(CLIP) * Black Lace - “Agadoo” (Fuck you all - it was in the top ten in Sydney and Adelaide. Proves everything I’ve ever said about those particular cities. Almost certainly the worst song ever. And the tightest leather pants ever on the singer. For some reason the caption “THIS SEEMS LIKE FUN” comes up on the screen halfway through)
(CLIP) * Cyndi Lauper - “She Bop”
Yes it’s sad that I’ve basically just blogged an entire episode of Countdown. It wasn’t really labor intensive - I promise.
(CLIP) * Twisted Sister - “We’re Not Gonna Take It” (Pushed into the National Top 30 because of it’s popularity in Melbourne. You may snicker but it’s better than what Adelaide and Sydney were buying. Has anyone else ever thought of what a child abusing asshole the guy in the video for that song was?)
/Chartbusters
(VIDEO) * The Takeaways - “Glam To Wham” - From ‘Sweet ‘n’ Sour’ apparently. Doesn’t give any better indication of what the show was about but it sounds like a really povo Australian attempt to do a James Bond theme song.
(VIDEO/INTERVIEW) * Jermaine Jackson - “Dynamite” - Clip involves a jail break, a fat woman on the phone and JJ himself wearing some sort of orange and light blue jumpsuit thing. The highlight was his ’stoned like there’s no tomorrow’ throw to the song and the wet look mullet he sports during his brief interview with Molly.
Sweet ‘n Sour are back and plug their various projects before the chick mistakenly throws to a Stevie Wonder videoclip and has to be saved by a co-host. At this point they go to,
(LIVE) * Steven Cummings - “Another Kick In The Head”. I’d be tempted to say that he was off his face as well but I think he always looked like that. Unlikely to appear on any klassic kompilation of Aussie hits anytime soon. I’d like to go back 20 years and yell at him to do “Who Listens To The Radio”. Christ, this one goes on a bit.
(VIDEO) * Bon Jovi - “She Don’t Know Me”. Does a pre-video “Hi, I’m Jon Bon Jovi” link whilst sporting the biggest poodle hair mullet I’ve ever seen. He’s been the most sober looking person on the show yet. You know that’s wrong.
(VIDEO) * John Justin - “It’s Magic”. They’re only pushing him because they were the first show to feature him and were presumably hoping to cash in when he got famous. Not the worst song of the era but the video is complete bollocks. He rises a horse and horns onto a big breasted blonde woman. Then he breaks out a Jack O Lantern. What’s magic about Halloween? As the video goes on I start to dislike him and his song more and more. Where are they now? Write in. Were you inappropriately groped by Molly?
More uncertain attempts at comedy from the hosts.
(VIDEO) * ZZ Top - “Legs”. Pretty much the only thing that you still see. What was up with the ritual workplace abuse that the girl copped in this video? Thank god that dancing skanks and beardos show up and kick ass.
(LIVE) * Liquid Engineers - “Help Me”. Anyone who steals their name from a Gary Numan song is alright in my book. Even if they sport giant blonde mullets and sing a shit song. Apparently their first TV appearance. Almost certainly their last.
(VIDEO) * Stevie Wonder - “I Just Called To Say I Love You”. Cue a million people simultaneously coming up with a ‘Red Faces’ act. At the time this was the fastest selling single in British history. As if they didn’t have something better to be buying in 1984.
More awful comedy.
Humdrum
Molly on a street in Hollywood (offering?). Looks as if he’s wearing a giant wig under the hat for some reason. Talks up Cyndi Lauper.
US Top 5
5 - Lauper - “She Bop”
4 - John Waite - “Missing You”
3 - The Cars - “Drive”
2 - Stevie Wonder - “I Just Called To Say I Love You”
1 - Prince - “Let’s Go Crazy”
A terrifying zoom in onto Meldrum leads to a preview of,
(CLIP) Culture Club - “The War Song”
UK Top 5
5 - Sister Sledge - “Lost In Music”
4 - U2 - “Pride”
3 - Culture Club - “The War Song”
2 - Ray Parker Jr - “Ghostbusters”
1 - The aforementioned Stevie Wonder
Mad hair Molly is back to talk to Olivia Newton-John in one of her Koala Blue stores. There was a business venture with legs. She actually describes Purple Rain as one of the “most exciting films I’ve ever seen”. Molly then talks up the future acting prospect of Billy Idol and winks at the camera. Eek.
(VIDEO) - Billy Idol - “Flesh For Fantasy”. There’s plenty of booty slapping going on and does that dumbass sneer thing a lot. He really loses “bad boy” credability by busting out a video chock full of choreographed dancing.
/Humdrum
Australian Top 10 clips,
10 - Pointer Sisters - “Jump”
9 - Elton John - “Passengers”
8 - Bruce Springsteen - “Dancing In The Dark”
7 - ZZ Top - “Legs”
6 - Tina Turner - “What’s Love Got To Do With It”
5 - John Waite - “Missing You”
4 - U2 - “Pride”
3 - Ray Parker Jr. - “Ghostbusters”
2 - Stevie bloody Wonder again
1 - George Michael - “Careless Whisper”
The show, for some unknown bloody reason, ends with alarmingly large drag artiste Divine singing something entitled “You Think You’re A Man”. Sadly there’s no Pink Flamingos style dogshit eating live on stage. Probably the gayest thing ever seen on Australian television to that point in history. I can just see thousands of red hot Aussie bogan males ripping televisions out of the wall and declaring that they’ll never watch the ABC again. The song is pretty awful. Obviously they couldn’t sign the real #1 to come in and sing so they went for this instead.
And that’s it. I’m Adam 1.0. Goodnight Australia.
UPDATE - Yes I’m aware that I’ve just blogged an entire episode of Countdown from two decades ago. What else am I going to do? Do you expect me to sleep in these wretched conditions?
UPDATE 2 - How obvious was that? The next episode goes all the way back to 1978. I tipped this.
Saturday, 15 January 2005
Matchday Report
I’ve pondered (rather briefly I must admit) how best to cover last night’s wildly successful Melbourne Blogbang. Given that I wouldn’t usually write about any sort of pissed-up bar tilt anyway it’s especially dodgy given that more than half the people who read this site (non search engine perverts and freaks category) were present. So I’m not really going to bother. Suffice to say that everyone there was quite ace and I didn’t manage to start a feud with anyone despite the prominently lefty crowd and my shameful political past.
The “pick your own song” tilt proved outrageously successful despite the fact that it was being run on an Ipod (yes, that was me whinging and waving a Creative Nomad Mp3 player at the operator). The playlist there had so much on it that I’ve been trying to get for ages that I briefly considered jumping the bar, pinching it, running away, copying it all to a decent device and then throwing the evidence into the sea. For the record I made them play the following. Classic hits one and all,
* Float On - Modest Mouse * That Joke Isn’t Funny Anymore - The Smiths * God’s Cop - Happy Mondays * Hit The North - The Fall * Gold - Spandau Ballet * Joe’s Head - Kings of Leon* Down In The Park - Gary Numan * Straight Outta Compton - NWA *
And didn’t the crowd just rise as one when Gold came on? Was it;
a) An appreciation of early 80’s New Romantic music?
b) A roomful of people who have played Grand Theft Auto: Vice City and listened to it while they beat a traffic cop to death with a baseball bat?
c) “Dancing to anything” syndrome fuelled by excessive alcohol consumption?
My money’s on c) to be honest. Although if you’ve got fond memories of GTA’s Wave FM radio station please write in
All the currently posted alternative commentaries on the night’s events can be found via the following blogs;
* Catechism
* Desci
* Fluffy
* Fits
* Forward
* Fudd
* Jellyfish
* Love
* Word
That last one is an actual blog link and not an attempt at acquiring street cred by talking like ‘the kids’. Believe ‘dat playa.
There’s a sizeable - and comprehensive - list of people who were there here along with a run-down from the major organiser himself. Don’t be fooled about my name being on the flyer - that was purely for sex appeal. The only task I was given - to shift conversation from the front of the room to the back - failed miserably due to the fact that I’m crap at making conversation. I did, however, get to pose in an organisers photo so when people look back in 50 years time they’ll think I was up to my neck in it. Yay.
Did any scandal emerge from the night? I’m sure nobody’s going to post about it if they scored but go on - drop some hints. Make ‘em up if you have to. If you just want to dish on people ring me up or something. I’m in the book.
I look forward to the next Blogbang. We should have a combined one with Sydney in Albury.
The “pick your own song” tilt proved outrageously successful despite the fact that it was being run on an Ipod (yes, that was me whinging and waving a Creative Nomad Mp3 player at the operator). The playlist there had so much on it that I’ve been trying to get for ages that I briefly considered jumping the bar, pinching it, running away, copying it all to a decent device and then throwing the evidence into the sea. For the record I made them play the following. Classic hits one and all,
* Float On - Modest Mouse * That Joke Isn’t Funny Anymore - The Smiths * God’s Cop - Happy Mondays * Hit The North - The Fall * Gold - Spandau Ballet * Joe’s Head - Kings of Leon* Down In The Park - Gary Numan * Straight Outta Compton - NWA *
And didn’t the crowd just rise as one when Gold came on? Was it;
a) An appreciation of early 80’s New Romantic music?
b) A roomful of people who have played Grand Theft Auto: Vice City and listened to it while they beat a traffic cop to death with a baseball bat?
c) “Dancing to anything” syndrome fuelled by excessive alcohol consumption?
My money’s on c) to be honest. Although if you’ve got fond memories of GTA’s Wave FM radio station please write in
All the currently posted alternative commentaries on the night’s events can be found via the following blogs;
* Catechism
* Desci
* Fluffy
* Fits
* Forward
* Fudd
* Jellyfish
* Love
* Word
That last one is an actual blog link and not an attempt at acquiring street cred by talking like ‘the kids’. Believe ‘dat playa.
There’s a sizeable - and comprehensive - list of people who were there here along with a run-down from the major organiser himself. Don’t be fooled about my name being on the flyer - that was purely for sex appeal. The only task I was given - to shift conversation from the front of the room to the back - failed miserably due to the fact that I’m crap at making conversation. I did, however, get to pose in an organisers photo so when people look back in 50 years time they’ll think I was up to my neck in it. Yay.
Did any scandal emerge from the night? I’m sure nobody’s going to post about it if they scored but go on - drop some hints. Make ‘em up if you have to. If you just want to dish on people ring me up or something. I’m in the book.
I look forward to the next Blogbang. We should have a combined one with Sydney in Albury.
Friday, 14 January 2005
Stereotype buried
However did New Zealand get a reputation as a nation of sheep fuckers? Was there one guy who got caught out by a travelling 1902 Australian cricket team and ended up becoming the butt of every joke for the next century?
It now turns out that they might not be so interested in sheep after all. It’s goats that have to watch their ass.
A Nelson man has appeared in court for a second time for attempting to have sex with a goat.
George Kepa, a 41-year-old unemployed man, pleaded guilty in Nelson District Court yesterday to bestiality and unlawfully entering a building.
Police prosecutor Chris Stringer said Kepa went to visit a friend on January 7.
The friend was asleep and Kepa went to a tin shed where the goat was kept, took some of his clothes off and attempted to have sex with it, Mr Stringer said.
Judge Paul Whitehead remanded Kepa until February 1 for a pre-sentence drug and alcohol report.
In 2002, Kepa was sentenced to 80 hours’ community work and 18 months supervision for committing an indecency with a goat.
Of course I’m sure every website in New Zealand has a link to a story about some guy from Horsham planting one on a Doberman. Why Horsham? Seems like a dog molesting town to me.
It now turns out that they might not be so interested in sheep after all. It’s goats that have to watch their ass.
A Nelson man has appeared in court for a second time for attempting to have sex with a goat.
George Kepa, a 41-year-old unemployed man, pleaded guilty in Nelson District Court yesterday to bestiality and unlawfully entering a building.
Police prosecutor Chris Stringer said Kepa went to visit a friend on January 7.
The friend was asleep and Kepa went to a tin shed where the goat was kept, took some of his clothes off and attempted to have sex with it, Mr Stringer said.
Judge Paul Whitehead remanded Kepa until February 1 for a pre-sentence drug and alcohol report.
In 2002, Kepa was sentenced to 80 hours’ community work and 18 months supervision for committing an indecency with a goat.
Of course I’m sure every website in New Zealand has a link to a story about some guy from Horsham planting one on a Doberman. Why Horsham? Seems like a dog molesting town to me.
MIA
Actually while we’re talking up state politics I was wondering if we still had a Premier in Victoria. For all the people that are whinging about Mark Latham being half dead/kicking the footy on a beach there’s sure a lot of silence about the fact that Steve Bracks hasn’t been seen for months. Where is he? Who’s running the state? Please don’t tell me it’s John Thwaites.
You’d think it would be the perfect time for the opposition to start going them and asking questions wouldn’t you? If you said “yes” you’re clearly not in charge of the Victorian Liberals as they’ve shut up shop for the new year as well.
Seriously this state is run like a brothel. We’ve got to have some sort of alternative at the next election - surely. Let’s start a new party and get 1% of the vote.
You’d think it would be the perfect time for the opposition to start going them and asking questions wouldn’t you? If you said “yes” you’re clearly not in charge of the Victorian Liberals as they’ve shut up shop for the new year as well.
Seriously this state is run like a brothel. We’ve got to have some sort of alternative at the next election - surely. Let’s start a new party and get 1% of the vote.
Victorian MP’s = wankers*
* Most obvious gag ever in relation to this story.
Politicians in one Australian state have been asked to lend a hand and become sperm donors to help arrest dwindling supplies at an in-vitro fertilization clinic.
The Monash IVF clinic has written to 25 parliamentarians aged under 45 in Victoria state asking them to set an example for the rest of the male population by becoming sperm donors.
“We hope that if some of the leading role models within our community become donors, others may follow suit,” the Monash letter said.
Monash IVF clinic medical director Gab Kovacs said the clinics’ stocks had been dwindling since a state law came into force in 1998 requiring that only men who were prepared to have their identities released could become donors.
A Monash spokeswoman said the clinic had about 100 clients on its books and only 13 donors. The clinic was yet to receive any answers from interested MPs, she said.
Victoria Police Minister Andre Haermeyer said he hadn’t been asked to become a donor but wondered if politicians were suitable candidates.
“It could create a rather quarrelsome family, I would have thought,” Haermeyer told Australian Broadcasting Corp. radio.
Classic that they needed an expert comment on being a jerk-off and they went straight Haermeyer. You can do your own gags on this issue.
Politicians in one Australian state have been asked to lend a hand and become sperm donors to help arrest dwindling supplies at an in-vitro fertilization clinic.
The Monash IVF clinic has written to 25 parliamentarians aged under 45 in Victoria state asking them to set an example for the rest of the male population by becoming sperm donors.
“We hope that if some of the leading role models within our community become donors, others may follow suit,” the Monash letter said.
Monash IVF clinic medical director Gab Kovacs said the clinics’ stocks had been dwindling since a state law came into force in 1998 requiring that only men who were prepared to have their identities released could become donors.
A Monash spokeswoman said the clinic had about 100 clients on its books and only 13 donors. The clinic was yet to receive any answers from interested MPs, she said.
Victoria Police Minister Andre Haermeyer said he hadn’t been asked to become a donor but wondered if politicians were suitable candidates.
“It could create a rather quarrelsome family, I would have thought,” Haermeyer told Australian Broadcasting Corp. radio.
Classic that they needed an expert comment on being a jerk-off and they went straight Haermeyer. You can do your own gags on this issue.
Striding towards a facist society
I’ve got another society improving concept. Let’s revolutionise the 12 items or less queue. Am I the only one who is continually shattered to see people sneaking in with 57 things wedged into a tiny shopping basket and trying to pretend that they’re just buying some milk and eggs? I don’t think so. If supermarkets aren’t going to enforce it - and let’s face it why should the person behind the check-out give a damn when they’re only getting $2 an hour or something - I suggest a complex system of automated devices. Give the punters a bit of an overrun so they can sneak 13 or 14 items through but once the 15th is scanned then alarms must go off loudly and the counter must automatically lock. Then a team of burly security guards will take the offender by his or her arms and eject them forcibly from the store while a crack team of operatives return the items to the shelves where they belong.
Let us strive towards an era of streamlined supermarketing and efficient shopping practices.
Let us strive towards an era of streamlined supermarketing and efficient shopping practices.
Thursday, 13 January 2005
“Burn down the disco, hang the blessed DJ”
I don’t want to break this poor boy’s heart but I must say it. I’m deeply suspicious of DJ’s. Not in the same way that I’m deeply suspicious of Catholic priests but suspicious nonetheless. I should clarify my point. If you do crazy things with songs, drop zany samples and can create a seamless mash-up of “One Night In Bangkok” vs Nikki Webster’s “Strawberry Kisses” then you’re a gun. I’ll rise to applaud. But if you entire job is to put headphones on, change CD’s over in a pub and pick up 16-year-old girls then I’ll be the one at the back booing you loudly.
The final straw came from the guy referenced in the comments of this post. He stood there on stage alongside a flunky, dancing around with comedy sized headphones on, honking onto ciggies and chatting up teenage girls. Every once in a while he’d go through the CD wallet, pick a new one out and give us five minutes of a Fatman Scoop/Eminem cross that he’d got off the front of a magazine. And that’s it. There’s some knob twiddling - in each sense of the word - but it didn’t amount to much more. How does this warrant accreditation. What does he get a stage for? Is it just there to provide a focal point for people to dance in front of? You could achieve the same
Personally I was watching the rodeo at the time so it didn’t distress me too much but I can understand some people taking great offence. If you want people to look in a certain direction put a monkey in a balaclava up there and attach a speaker blaring out something by Kelis to it’s head. That’ll do the job.
I suggest a system of licensing where you have to refer to yourself as a “CD CHANGER” until you’ve passed a battery of rigorous tests and inspections. And that “Disc Inspectors” shall show up randomly at clubs and crack down anyone advertising somebody as a “Live DJ” (or anything similar) simply because they can make “California Love” overlap with “” for a few seconds and follow it up with a remix that somebody ELSE has created. I could do that - and given the opportunity I would just to play complete rubbish and clear the place - but I wouldn’t go around acting as if my name was Frankie Knuckles* and attempting to score. And on that note there will be a strictly enforced 0.00% picking up ratio while you’re on your probationary DJ licence. Would work nicely. Of course private parties and charity organisations would be exempt.
Call your local MP now.
* I didn’t even bother looking it up. He could be a Swedish gospel singer for all I know.
The final straw came from the guy referenced in the comments of this post. He stood there on stage alongside a flunky, dancing around with comedy sized headphones on, honking onto ciggies and chatting up teenage girls. Every once in a while he’d go through the CD wallet, pick a new one out and give us five minutes of a Fatman Scoop/Eminem cross that he’d got off the front of a magazine. And that’s it. There’s some knob twiddling - in each sense of the word - but it didn’t amount to much more. How does this warrant accreditation. What does he get a stage for? Is it just there to provide a focal point for people to dance in front of? You could achieve the same
Personally I was watching the rodeo at the time so it didn’t distress me too much but I can understand some people taking great offence. If you want people to look in a certain direction put a monkey in a balaclava up there and attach a speaker blaring out something by Kelis to it’s head. That’ll do the job.
I suggest a system of licensing where you have to refer to yourself as a “CD CHANGER” until you’ve passed a battery of rigorous tests and inspections. And that “Disc Inspectors” shall show up randomly at clubs and crack down anyone advertising somebody as a “Live DJ” (or anything similar) simply because they can make “California Love” overlap with “” for a few seconds and follow it up with a remix that somebody ELSE has created. I could do that - and given the opportunity I would just to play complete rubbish and clear the place - but I wouldn’t go around acting as if my name was Frankie Knuckles* and attempting to score. And on that note there will be a strictly enforced 0.00% picking up ratio while you’re on your probationary DJ licence. Would work nicely. Of course private parties and charity organisations would be exempt.
Call your local MP now.
* I didn’t even bother looking it up. He could be a Swedish gospel singer for all I know.
Kristmas Kard Krackdown
Hasn’t this gimmick been done before?
Christmas is still going strong for 14-year-old Nick Waters.
When the boy’s church asked what he wanted for Christmas, Nick, who cannot talk and was born with no arms, slowly typed his reply with his feet: Lots of Christmas cards. Ten thousand of them.
More than two weeks after Christmas, he has more than 130,000 cards — and they are still coming. They line the halls at his home, along with the living room, and the kitchen, and every other room in the house.
And did the last attempt not descend rapidly into farce as people kept sending things to the kid for years and years to come. The email went around every year saying he was some poor 10 year old and here’s his address and hundreds of thousands of people would send cards annually. Not surprisingly he got over it and the parade of mail not only started giving his poor postman the shits but he got sick of it as well and started showing up on television shows going “I’M 26! STOP SENDING FUCKING CARDS!” But nobody listened and the email just keeps going around and the cards keep rolling in.
I predict that young Nick’s future consists entirely of being irritated by idiots off the internet.
UPDATE - From Snopes.com
In 1989 an appeal was made on behalf of this then 9-year-old English boy afflicted with a terminal brain tumor. Young Craig wanted to be in the Guinness Book of World Records for having received the most greeting cards. By 1990, 16 million cards had arrived, and his wish had come true. (According to the 1997 edition of that book, by May 1991 he had collected 33 million.)
Ah, but that was then, and this is now. Shergold’s tumor was successfully removed in March 1991, and this lad (born 24 June 1979) is now a healthy young man. However, like the implements in the Sorceror’s Apprentice, the cards and letters have proved impossible to stop — they just keep rolling in. Several versions of the Craig Shergold appeal still circulate, and almost every one of them now asks for business cards, not greeting cards. (In yet another form of the same hoax, compliments slips are solicited.)
The child’s name also gets munged on a regular basis. “Craig Shelford” and “Craig Stafford” and “Craig Sheppard” and “Greg Sherwood” are common variations, but there’s a double handful of similar-sounding names out there too. With some of the names, it’s difficult at first to be sure if they’re Shergold mungings (”John Craig” comes immediately to mind. And yes, it is.) In those cases, a quick look at the address where the cards or slips are to be mailed will settle matters — many Shergold appeals direct mail to an address on Selby, Selsby, or Shelby Road. (The real Craig Shergold did at one time live on Shelby Road in Carshalton, England. The family has since left that address.)
So there you go.
Christmas is still going strong for 14-year-old Nick Waters.
When the boy’s church asked what he wanted for Christmas, Nick, who cannot talk and was born with no arms, slowly typed his reply with his feet: Lots of Christmas cards. Ten thousand of them.
More than two weeks after Christmas, he has more than 130,000 cards — and they are still coming. They line the halls at his home, along with the living room, and the kitchen, and every other room in the house.
And did the last attempt not descend rapidly into farce as people kept sending things to the kid for years and years to come. The email went around every year saying he was some poor 10 year old and here’s his address and hundreds of thousands of people would send cards annually. Not surprisingly he got over it and the parade of mail not only started giving his poor postman the shits but he got sick of it as well and started showing up on television shows going “I’M 26! STOP SENDING FUCKING CARDS!” But nobody listened and the email just keeps going around and the cards keep rolling in.
I predict that young Nick’s future consists entirely of being irritated by idiots off the internet.
UPDATE - From Snopes.com
In 1989 an appeal was made on behalf of this then 9-year-old English boy afflicted with a terminal brain tumor. Young Craig wanted to be in the Guinness Book of World Records for having received the most greeting cards. By 1990, 16 million cards had arrived, and his wish had come true. (According to the 1997 edition of that book, by May 1991 he had collected 33 million.)
Ah, but that was then, and this is now. Shergold’s tumor was successfully removed in March 1991, and this lad (born 24 June 1979) is now a healthy young man. However, like the implements in the Sorceror’s Apprentice, the cards and letters have proved impossible to stop — they just keep rolling in. Several versions of the Craig Shergold appeal still circulate, and almost every one of them now asks for business cards, not greeting cards. (In yet another form of the same hoax, compliments slips are solicited.)
The child’s name also gets munged on a regular basis. “Craig Shelford” and “Craig Stafford” and “Craig Sheppard” and “Greg Sherwood” are common variations, but there’s a double handful of similar-sounding names out there too. With some of the names, it’s difficult at first to be sure if they’re Shergold mungings (”John Craig” comes immediately to mind. And yes, it is.) In those cases, a quick look at the address where the cards or slips are to be mailed will settle matters — many Shergold appeals direct mail to an address on Selby, Selsby, or Shelby Road. (The real Craig Shergold did at one time live on Shelby Road in Carshalton, England. The family has since left that address.)
So there you go.
Wednesday, 12 January 2005
Australia: Put it on
Over the years I’ve keenly observed the mental meltdown that Australia undergoes when the weather gets hot. Many times have I wondered why people hang out for a season that means wallowing in your own filthy sweat despite applying enough deodourant to constitute chemical warfare. I’ve finally worked out it.
It’s all about nuding up. Australians love running close to breaking obscenity laws in public and the heat allows them the best chance to get ‘em off. Forget the bullshit about cricket, BBQ’s and beaches - it’s about man boobs and plenty of them. There’s no more sickening sight that of flabby males going top off and slapping on the tight shorts. If you’re that anti-clothes you can at least go to a gym - spend the winter months there if you have to. By christ it’s awful. The thought is sickening me even now; I had to post it as part of the cleansing and healing process.
And I know what you’re going to say “What about the chicks? FNAR!” etc.. In response I say that it’s not worth it. The parade of male jug I witnessed in the city today could not be made up for with any number of attractive female equivalent. I’m scarred for life. And people let their kids wander around with these perverts on the loose…
As long as the guy who hangs around the city that I’m reliably informed IS a pervert and has done time for it keeps his clothes on it’s alright. You know the guy, he’s the one who [That’s quite enough of that - TSP legal department]
It’s all about nuding up. Australians love running close to breaking obscenity laws in public and the heat allows them the best chance to get ‘em off. Forget the bullshit about cricket, BBQ’s and beaches - it’s about man boobs and plenty of them. There’s no more sickening sight that of flabby males going top off and slapping on the tight shorts. If you’re that anti-clothes you can at least go to a gym - spend the winter months there if you have to. By christ it’s awful. The thought is sickening me even now; I had to post it as part of the cleansing and healing process.
And I know what you’re going to say “What about the chicks? FNAR!” etc.. In response I say that it’s not worth it. The parade of male jug I witnessed in the city today could not be made up for with any number of attractive female equivalent. I’m scarred for life. And people let their kids wander around with these perverts on the loose…
As long as the guy who hangs around the city that I’m reliably informed IS a pervert and has done time for it keeps his clothes on it’s alright. You know the guy, he’s the one who [That’s quite enough of that - TSP legal department]
Americans fail to get the gag
Part 234+
No one knows for sure who he was, that Middle Eastern man in an American flag shirt and a cowboy hat who was supposed to sing the national anthem at a rodeo Friday night in the Salem Civic Center.
But he sure shook up this town before leaving in a hurry.
Introduced as Boraq Sagdiyev from Kazakhstan, he was said to be an immigrant touring America. A film crew was with him, doing some sort of documentary. And he wanted to sing “The Star-Spangled Banner” to show his appreciation, the announcer told the crowd.
Speaking in broken English, the mysterious man first told the decidedly pro-American crowd - it was a rodeo, of all things, in Salem, of all places - that he supported the war on terrorism.
“I hope you kill every man, woman and child in Iraq, down to the lizards,” he said, according to Brett Sharp of Star Country WSLC, who was also on stage that night as a media sponsor of the rodeo.
An uneasy murmur ran through the crowd.
“And may George W. Bush drink the blood of every man, woman and child in Iraq,” he continued, according to Robynn Jaymes, who co-hosts a morning radio show with Sharp and was also among the stunned observers.
The crowd’s reaction was loud enough for John Saunders, the civic center’s assistant director, to hear from the front office. “It was a restless kind of booing,” Saunders said.
Then the man took off his hat and sang what he said was his native national anthem. He then told the crowd to be seated, put his hat back on, and launched into a butchered version of “The Star-Spangled Banner” that ended with the words “your home in the grave,” Sharp said.
Suddenly the penny dropped - chances are it wasn’t serious.
After apologizing to the crowd for being duped, Rowe was left to wonder who pulled such a hoax, and why. Months ago, he was approached by someone from One America, a California-based film company that was reportedly doing a documentary on a Russian immigrant, Rowe said.
The outfit asked if Sagdiyev could sing the national anthem at the rodeo in Salem. After listening to a tape, Rowe said sure.
By Saturday afternoon, Jaymes had observed that Sagdiyev looked a lot like the title character of “Da Ali G Show,” a Home Box Office production that often catches its guests and audiences unaware and then records their reaction to “shock value” material such as Friday night’s performance.
The show has a character named Borat from Kazakhstan, according to the HBO Web site.
I can’t believe they just let anyone sing the national anthem. Probably explains the last decade of Grand Final entertainment.
UPDATE - You would not believe how many people are searching for information about “Boraq” (the complete misspelling of Borat at the start of the article) and landing at TSP. BORAQ MANIA! Sweeping the USA. They won’t get much.
No one knows for sure who he was, that Middle Eastern man in an American flag shirt and a cowboy hat who was supposed to sing the national anthem at a rodeo Friday night in the Salem Civic Center.
But he sure shook up this town before leaving in a hurry.
Introduced as Boraq Sagdiyev from Kazakhstan, he was said to be an immigrant touring America. A film crew was with him, doing some sort of documentary. And he wanted to sing “The Star-Spangled Banner” to show his appreciation, the announcer told the crowd.
Speaking in broken English, the mysterious man first told the decidedly pro-American crowd - it was a rodeo, of all things, in Salem, of all places - that he supported the war on terrorism.
“I hope you kill every man, woman and child in Iraq, down to the lizards,” he said, according to Brett Sharp of Star Country WSLC, who was also on stage that night as a media sponsor of the rodeo.
An uneasy murmur ran through the crowd.
“And may George W. Bush drink the blood of every man, woman and child in Iraq,” he continued, according to Robynn Jaymes, who co-hosts a morning radio show with Sharp and was also among the stunned observers.
The crowd’s reaction was loud enough for John Saunders, the civic center’s assistant director, to hear from the front office. “It was a restless kind of booing,” Saunders said.
Then the man took off his hat and sang what he said was his native national anthem. He then told the crowd to be seated, put his hat back on, and launched into a butchered version of “The Star-Spangled Banner” that ended with the words “your home in the grave,” Sharp said.
Suddenly the penny dropped - chances are it wasn’t serious.
After apologizing to the crowd for being duped, Rowe was left to wonder who pulled such a hoax, and why. Months ago, he was approached by someone from One America, a California-based film company that was reportedly doing a documentary on a Russian immigrant, Rowe said.
The outfit asked if Sagdiyev could sing the national anthem at the rodeo in Salem. After listening to a tape, Rowe said sure.
By Saturday afternoon, Jaymes had observed that Sagdiyev looked a lot like the title character of “Da Ali G Show,” a Home Box Office production that often catches its guests and audiences unaware and then records their reaction to “shock value” material such as Friday night’s performance.
The show has a character named Borat from Kazakhstan, according to the HBO Web site.
I can’t believe they just let anyone sing the national anthem. Probably explains the last decade of Grand Final entertainment.
UPDATE - You would not believe how many people are searching for information about “Boraq” (the complete misspelling of Borat at the start of the article) and landing at TSP. BORAQ MANIA! Sweeping the USA. They won’t get much.
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