A poor year in music. For almost everybody on this list who has "old stuff", I'd rather it than what they put out this year. But let's forge on regardless.
First, as always, the rules. Two tracks per artist maximum, no covers, re-releases only if 2009 was the first time I'd heard it. Guest appearances, duets and "We Are The World" style celebrity singalongs don't count towards the two.
And before we begin - a quick look at the previous top 5's.
1. Kaiser Chiefs - I Predict A Riot
2. Maximo Park - Apply Some Pressure
3. Goldfrapp - Ooh La La
4. The Killers - Somebody Told Me
5. Bloc Party - Helicopter
1. The Young Knives - Here Comes The Rumor Mill
2. Giant Drag - This Isn’t It
3. Silvia Night - Congratulations
4. Lily Allen - LDN
5. Joey Negro - Make A Move On Me
1. The Hold Steady - Chips Ahoy!
2. New Young Pony Club - Ice Cream
3. The Teenagers - Homecoming
4. Arctic Monkeys - Fluorescent Adolescent
5. Jack Penate - Spit At Stars
1. Lethal Bizzle - The Come Up
2. Neon Neon - Luxury Pool
3. MGMT - Electric Feel
4. Empire Of The Sun - Walking On A Dream
5. Fryars - Olive Eyes
And now tonight's host
Speaking of old men, here's number 50.
50 - Bob Dylan - It's All Good
That guy is still alive?
49 - Lethal Bizzle - Rockstar
I was hanging out to see what last year's #1 artist would follow "The Come Up" with. The answer was 'nothing nearly as good'. It'll probably sell a truckload more.
48 - 1990's - Everybody Please Relax
A perfectly good song nearly destroyed by the use of the term 'chillax'. Even used with heavy irony it sounds shithouse. CEASE AND DESIST.
47 - The Prodigy - Invaders Must Die
They're still around, and with original members. Oh for something remotely approaching the sick menace of Breathe.
46 - Maximo Park - I Haven't Seen Her In Ages
WHITHER APPLY SOME PRESSURE?
45 - Simian Mobile Disco - Cruel Intentions (featuring Beth Ditto)
Not as good as her old songs, in a year that her band appeared with a set of songs that weren't as good as the debut.
44 - Julian Cope - All the Blowing Themselves Up Motherfuckers
Acid fried former Teardrop Explode frontman delivers his take on the art of suicide bombing in a song with no video. Thirty seconds worth here.
43 - Art Brut - Demons Out!
The same lyrics with a knowing smirk. Just not as good as before.
42 - The Rifles - Fall To Sorrow
Meh. About what you'd expect a #43 to be.
41 - Pete Doherty - Arcadie
40 - Pete Doherty - Last of the English Roses
Decent double Doherty. NOW REFORM THE LIBERTINES YOU DRUG ADDICTED GOOSE.
39 - Franz Ferdinand - Can't Stop Feeling
Oh Franz, can we please have another Take Me Out?
38 - Madness - We Are London
Awww.. Makes me nostalgic for London.
37 - The Gossip - Heavy Cross
Hah, she said heavy.
36 - The Broken Family Band - Please Yourself
Where they invite you to do just that.
35 - Noisettes - Don't Upset the Rhythm
It's an iron clad guarantee that if you haven't heard this soundtracking something from the government yet, you will soon.
34 - The Prodigy - Run With The Wolves
33 - New York Dolls - Cause I Sez So
Yes, they are still alive. Some of them anyway. Kind of like The Platters playing at the Dragonfly Restaurant in Tullamarine.
32 - Franz Ferdinand - No You Girls
31 - She Keeps Bees - Gimme
Reminscent of the Meg songs from the White Stripes (but sung properly). Major difference is the pure filth of the lyrics.
30 - VV Brown - Crying Blood
Moderately insane soul - 2000's style.
29 - Bad Lieutenant - Sink Or Swim
Bernard from New Order in a New Order-esque moment. Sure, he doesn't talk to Peter Hook anymore but this is about as N.O as you're ever going to get again.
28 - Young Jeezy - My President Is Black
Sounded a lot better in the immediate aftermath of the Obama inauguration when it was released.
27 - Mayer Hawthorne - Your Easy Lovin' Ain't Pleasin' Nothin'
White boy soul that isn't complete shite. What's next? White rappers?
26 - The Cribs - We Share The Same Skies
You will note that nothing off the new Morrissey album made this year's top 50. The only decent songs got in last year as singles - the rest are shit. This track should tell you everything you need to know about why Johnny Marr and Moz should kiss make up, get back together and FUCKING DOMINATE. The Cribs had one shining moment (Men's Needs), and have done nearly bugger all since but this gets pushed from purely average to good simply by the addition of Marr Magic.
25 - Kasabian - Underdog
Like them or not, and I'm undecided, there is no doubt that Kasabian are going to slot right into the space recently left by Oasis. All they need is their lighters in the air, bullshit Wonderwall-esque ballad and then it's world domination time.
24 - Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Softshock
One of three Karen O appearances in this year's chart. She qualifies due to a guest appearance.
23 - Peaches - Billionare
Where the middle-aged and hairy Canadian sleazebag suggests that she would like to "fuck you like a billionare"
22 - Lily Allen - It's Not Fair
Pop country for people who would throw up if you were suggesting that they were listening to country. "But there's lyrics about shagging!" you say. I say Loretta Lynn did it first. Still, not a bad song. Raising the spectre of Conway Twitty in the video was a masterstroke.
21 - U2 - Breathe
I vowed never to take another U2 song seriously until they did another "Beautiful Day" or "Elevation", but this is surprisingly good.
20 - NASA - Strange Enough (featuring Karen O, Ol' Dirty Bastard and Fat Lip)
Karen O appearance #2, from the debut album with the finest set of guest artists in recent memory.
19 - Luke Haines - 21st Century Man
Your standard Haines. Think The Auteurs or Black Box Recorder. Wistful looking back at British 20th modern history a speciality.
18 - Boy Crisis - Dressed To Digress
STORMING. And what a video..
17 - Golden Silvers - True Romance (No. 9 Blues)
Another track that will undoubtedly be used in an ad at some point.
16 - Camera Obscura - Honey In The Sun
In a less cruel world this would be considered pop and would storm into the charts at #1. But no, enjoy your Katy Perry instead kids.
15 - Connor Oberst and the Mystic Valley Band - Roosevelt Room
Last year's Bob Dylan is at #50, the future Dylan is here. No video anywhere (!?), but more than worth a listen.
14 - The Virgins - Teen Lovers
Good song, quality video. Like a last minute draft smoky this rocketed from the mid 40's to 14th in the last week of voting. Congratulations Virgins everywhere!
13 - Basement Jaxx - Day Of The Sunflowers (We March On)
But enough self congratulations. Onto the best thing Yoko Ono has ever been involved with. Period.
12 - The Airborne Toxic Event - Sometime Around Midnight
Orchestral emo for a mature audience.
11 - Metric - Gimme Sympathy
Canadians behind Monster Hospital, ask the eternal question.
10 - Cerys Matthews - Arlington Way
Former Catatonia singer in blistering return to form. Like Dusty In Memphis dragged into the 21st century.
9 - Lily Allen - The Fear
Depression about fame. Pulp did it years ago, and they even nabbed the song title. Still, the best chartbound pop song of the year. Additional bonus of getting a few obscenities in that are well masked enough to see the track played at family functions. Sold. And I would like to touch her, but that's beside the point.
8 - La Roux - In For The Kill
Somewhere deep inside the heart of this long lurks 1986.
7 - Dengue Fever - Tiger Phone Card
Our first ever American/Cambodian love song. Ever. Anyone willing to bet on another one?
6 - Deadmau5 featuring Rob Swire - Ghosts 'n Stuff
Reminiscent of Perfect by Mason, in that it worked amazingly without lyrics. Like when Princess Superstar met Mason, this is remarkable with words put to it.
5 - Low Fidelity All Stars - The Good Times
Skirts the fine line of just ripping off I Want You Back by the Jackson 5. Which, in this year of one of them carking it, isn't such a bad thing.
4 - Bat For Lashes - Daniel
A Kate Bush for the 21st century.
3 - Boy Crisis - The Fountain of Youth
This year's Empire of the Sun. Bizarre freaks with strange videos delivering the natural 21st progression of synthpop. Sounds like a version of MGMT who don't take themselves so seriously. Described by a Pitchfork reviewer as "the worst band in the world" they certainly look the part, but maigod the songs say otherwise. Besides.. in the world? What about all those Hillsong front groups who sing about how much they love Jebus?
2 - Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Heads Will Roll
1 - N.A.S.A - Spacious Thoughts (featuring Tom Waits and Kool Keith)
See you soon for TSP's top 200 of the 2000's. Explosive.