Dancing With The B-List

Not that I ever have watched it, or plan to (it's a lie, I love it wholeheartedly) but having seen the ad for Dancing With The Stars during a brief flirtation with the Olympics,you'd think they'd actually get some stars.

Red Symons - the multi-talented wit, ABC radio presenter and Australia's Got Talent judge we love to hate will be under close scrutiny with his partner and newcomer Ana Andre. 

Brooke Hanson - one of Australia's 'Golden Girls' from the winning 2004 Olympic 4x100m medley relay team, this beloved swimmer is out for dance floor glory with her powerful partner, John Paul Collins. 

Danny Green - no stranger to fancy footwork, bright lights or satin, the boxer known as the "The Green Machine" is the ultimate competitor. He retired as the WBA light heavyweight world champion recently but he's still out for glory, this time with his series 5 champion Natalie Lowe. 

Jodi Gordon - Home and Away's much-loved Martha MacKenzie and 2006 Logie-winner for Most Popular New Female, Jodi will be out to snag a new trophy with her partner, two-time winner of New Zealand's Dancing with the Stars Stefano Oliveri. 

Paul Licuria - this former AFL Collingwood champion retired from the top grade last year. But he's still in great shape and ready to take his on-field skills to the floor with the stunning Eliza Campagna. 

Toni Pearen - the pint-sized darling of the small screen will be going for style, grace and flair rather than Dancing's funniest videos when she takes to the floor with her partner, So You Think You Can Dance star Henry Byalikov. 

Cal Wilson - this comedienne strikes the unique balance between sweet, gorgeous and downright hilarious on TV's Thank God You're Here and on Nova drive with Akmal Saleh. She'll be hoping to find the right wavelength with the judges and a whole new audience with series 7 winner, Craig Monley. 

Charli Delaney - an original ever-smiling member of children's chart-toppers Hi-5, she now deals out support and advice to Aussie choirs. She had all the right steps for kids around the world but will she impress the Dancing with the Stars faithful with returning favourite Csaba Szirmai. 

James Tobin - since he joined the top-rating Sunrise team as its chief entertainment reporter he's come face-to-face with some of the world's biggest stars, Mariah Carey, George Lucas and Robert Downey Junior among them. But Dancing with the Stars will be his greatest test yet with his partner, another newcomer, Jade Hatcher. 

Luke Jacobz - for such a young bloke Home and Away's cheeky new cop Angelo has a significant list of TV achievements, including stints on Heartbreak High and McLeod's Daughters. He's fired up to add the title of Dancing with the Stars champion to his already impressive resume with pocket rocket Luda Kroitor. 

Surely, with the exception of the world's biggest one-trick-pony Symons (walk on, look disgusted, say something allegedly biting and walk off), somebody needs to get the Trade Practices Act out and see if you can legally call a show "with the stars" when it's B-List to the max. I'm still waiting for Blogging With The Stars but every time I call Channel 7 to tell them about it they hang up on me.