In the extras of the John Safran vs God DVD there’s footage of him at a first aid class run by a terrifyingly stern woman who just yells at him for five minutes. I was right at the end and not taking much notice anymore when I heard this evil voice emanating from my television. “Surely it couldn’t be” I thought. But sadly when they finally showed her on camera it was true. The evil first aid woman who went me in a work related class almost two years ago had not only resurfaced but she’s made it into the media before I had. How depressing.
The highlight of our class (basically her yelling at us for an entire day) was when she said that you can’t physically swallow your tongue, I said words to the effect of “But I’ve seen on this..” and she just shot me down for a couple of minutes and then went “Alright?” Clearly beaten by the power of first aid lunacy I attempted to concede, saying “No, you’re the expert I believe you”. She thought I was being a smartarse and turned on me for the best of five minutes as I attempted to extracate myself from the mess I’d gotten into. Eventually she gave up and started yelling at us for killing the CPR dummies instead.
Disgraceful. How come she’s worthy of fame and I’m not?*
* Yes, I am aware that being buried in the very last extra of a disc that’s not going to be seen outside of Australia hardly constitutes ‘fame’. But it’s better than anything I’ve managed yet.