Saturday, 1 November 2008

Motoring Magic

I was lucky enough to be standing at the corner of Collins and Exhibition Street yesterday and witness one of the most shambolic attempts at driving in history.

At an intersection with the dreaded hook turn the shambolic motorist in question sits in the right lane indicating, ready to turn. Naturally the cars behind her start honking their horns to a) indicate that she can't turn there, and b) give them some release from jumping out and smashing the bonnet with a tire iron. So she pulls forward a bit, which does absolutely nothing for traffic flow - more horns. Eventually she pulls right up into the middle of the intersection, at which time a police motorbike pulls up and starts talking to her. Presumably he was giving a full run down on the actual road rules of Victoria, because by the time he'd finished the lights had turned red and she was stuck in the middle of the intersection.

By that time a car who was actually doing a hook turn had got into position and was about to turn when the original realised she was stuck and took off, almost collecting the hook turner. More horns. Eventually they worked out what they were doing and the turner got away without being t-boned by this tragic figure in a green Ford Falcon. However by then the pedestrian lights had turned green and she couldn't move out of the intersection because there were 50 people in front of the car. More horns - including from inside the Green shambles car directed at the people crossing the road. Eventually the motorbike cop had to pull into the crossing and physically stop people from going in front of her so she could clear the intersection without killing anyone.

Bell Shakespeare Company be buggered, that was the best drama I've ever seen.

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