Blogging Inquest

In the interest of furthing the wide world of blog gimmickery, I hereby subject myself to hot interview action from Desci. If any of you are waiting for the replay and don’t want to see the answers look away now.

1. Best Album, band, gig.
I’m going to have to go for a one band Grand Slam here. The answers are TISM’s Hot Dogma, TISM and TISM at the Hi-Fi Bar 2004. I know the band themselves hate parts of Hot Dogma with a passion but I love it. Consider the following lyrical masterpiece from track one, The TISM Boat Hire Offer,

“Bon Scott would be alive this week if he just went fishing in Mordialloc Creek”

Genius. The album also contains my favourite TISM track Life Kills. A song which effectively takes all my philosophies of life and distills them into 7 odd minutes of rant. Simply beautiful.

Second place, The Smiths. Hey, fuck you - I know it’s twee but I don’t care. Wildcard for best gig ever was Ultraworld Festival last November. I’m not really into dance, not enough to know who anybody is anyway, but I had a top night surrounded by 5000 people off their trolley running away from police sniffer dogs. Then some girl with purple hair pashed me at the train station on the way home. HOT!

2. Why are you so into sport? It’s pretty shit.
Agreed. In fact I’ve found that I’m not really into sports that I don’t have a team to support in. I don’t guive two farks if Australia win at the Olympics, because it means nothing to me. In my sick mind it’s all about “my” team winning. Which never happens. In fact I expect that in the off-chance that Melbourne win an AFL Premiership anytime soon that it might actually act as a pressure-release that allows me to step away from sports a bit. Then I can ping myself off the Westgate knowing that I’ve seen everything that I wanted to see in life and there’s nothing left to achieve.

3. You’ve lived a lot of places. Where’s your favourite suburb in which to dwell?
Anywhere within a five kilometre radius of the city. If I ever have to live in the suburbs again (and punters, the furthest I’ve lived from the CBD was Camberwell) I’ll slash my wrists. If I had any of Hawthorn, Hawthorn East, Glen Iris, Hawthorn East, St. Kilda, Docklands, Southbank, Camberwell or Richmond I’d probably have to go for Southbank again. It was a two floor Penthouse fer-christ-sakes. I am, however, quite enjoying Richmond. As long as it’s somewhere that I can crawl home after becoming trashed then I’m happy.

4. I know you’re not really into the whole relationship thing, but who would be your perfect girl with whom to live forever and ever? Or just for, like, a year?
Holy shit. Now I’m flummoxed. In an ideal world she would be…

Cynical and ever so slightly evil, a little bit older than me, professional, smart, tall-ish. Interest in sports and the like not required, but tolerance must be had for disappearing mid AFL season for roadtrips to games in Canberra. No interest in having kids, and the sort of person who IF you were to get married wouldn’t expect some ring that could feed half of Africa for a year.

Oh, and I’m totally hornE for accents. What can I say? Ooh la la.

Alas I’m not even sure whether a record breaking combination of the above could actually hold my interest for even a year. Crash through or crash and all that.

5. Would you let me goth you up next time we go out? You’d look SO pretty.
I don’t think I could take myself seriously, but it’s tempting anyway just for a laugh. Will I be able to crack on to hot goth girls without actually having an intimate knowledge of Edgar Allen Poe or the Cure back catalogue?

5.1. Can we please go to Flat top? Mel’s DJing and I can’t go alone.
No idea if the supplementary question was meant to go on the blog or not, but hey why not. I’m in.