Melbourne who? I'm sure I watched some bunch of softcocks in red and blue jumpers running around Telstra Dome tonight, but it couldn't have been them could it? COULD IT? Oh crap, it was.
Anyway, let's discuss something far better - and that's what a complete debacle the organisational side of that stadium still is. The story goes a little something like this,
A workmate was supposed to score two free tickets to the Level 2 "posh people be here" section of the ground but when he got them one had inexplicably been allocated for the West Coast/St. Kilda game on Sunday. Despite that game being a far more attractive proposition from a footballing standpoint we weren't interested and wanted our "plebs be gone" seats nonetheless. Sadly our first attempted scam, trying to get through the computer-operated turnstiles with the dud ticket, failed - though it took the barrier jockey a good three minutes of staring at the ticket to realise it was for the wrong game. I bought the cheapest ticket possible and we moved inside the ground to do the numbers on our scam and come up with a new plan.
The second idea was for him to go in and throw the ticket down to me from the next level so I could go in as well, this naturally failed when we realised that I'd have to have some sort of hardcore ticket to get to the place where this could take place anyway.
One last option left - to just wave the tickets at the monkey on the door of the hardcore area and hope he doesn't bother to check which game the bottom one is for. It shouldn't have worked, of all the ideas we'd had it seemed to be the most far fetched, but acting on a tip-off from another colleague who claimed that if you "confuse them enough they'll let you through without checking what you're waving at them" we engaged Stadium Man in a lively debate about where exactly Aisle 37 was and waltzed in with the two tickets held together, cunningly disguising the true nature of the bottom one. Absolute fools. It would never work at a game with a decent crowd though, we had just over 20,000 at the game tonight and still had to change seat about four times before the match started.
We were quite happy about this, until the start of the third quarter when the red and blue ponces posing as Melbourne decided to spontaneously self-destruct and embarass everyone involved with the club. How dare they collapse in such a pissweak fashion on a day as sacred as Allen Jakovich day. Incidentally the Bulldogs paid fine tribute to their former superstar (*cough*) by kicking a pair of "goal of the year contenders". Glad to see somebody was having a go.
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