Wednesday 13 August 2003

Adam = sex beast of the east?

Camberwell's reputation as lookalike HQ of the planet earth has taken a decided turn for the sinister. How I laughed at our female versions of Ian Knop, Dame Edna and Mark Latham - then it turns out the number one sex pervert of the eastern suburbs is doing a sterling imitation of - erm - me. It was in yesterday's Herald Sun Crimestoppers page.

Of course now is the time when my scanner refuses to work, so I'm admitting it sort of looks like me yet I can't post the picture to prove it doesn't really. Conspiracy is probably obvious, but when I make my scanner work again I'll be sure to put it up.

If you know me and/or look closely you can tell the differences are obvious - but I still have visions of old ladies smacking me out with their handbags as I walk down Burke Road.

Of course Camberwell is the nerdlinger capital of Victoria, and every second person walking around looks like that (too many internet cafes and network game places you see - and no I've never been to one, I like to confine my nerdy activities to the home) but it's not the point. Were this hornbag not significantly shorter than me with curly hair and had I not been in the midst of my every-week-without fail Wednesday trivia-night rampage at the time (and, you know, the fact that I'm not into flashing my knob at people in public) I'd be worried about the SWAT team booting my door down in the middle of the night and performing a Camp X-Ray style abduction. Besides, I wouldn't offer anyone money to get naked - they should be honoured enough to do it for free.

Suffice to say, if posting suddenly stops here with no explanation habeas corpus has been suspended and I'm being flogged repeatedly with the Yellow Pages L-Z in the basement of the local Police Station.

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