So, you thought the AFL Grand Final did it badly? Never thought you'd see anything which would top the abortion they served up in 1999 when a "spaceship" crashed into the MCG and a fake Russian cosmonaut with the worst accent ever got out of it to do a tired catchphrase.
We present the 1990 SANFL Grand Final halftime show. Fast forward to 1.45 for chicken suits, the Birdy dance and the most unenthusiastic and out of time child performers ever.
Then at about 4.45 the tone changes entirely and the marching band starts playing porn music as a cavalcade of scantily clad tarts enter the arena.
Then the crowd does the wave. Anyone who does that at a football match (of any code) should be garotted. All the time while this is going on the marching band are playing "Hey Big Spender" and the woman in the chicken suit attempts a bit of sexy dancing. Then some ten year old kid does - HELLO FEDERAL POLICE? ARE YOU WATCHING?
Then, sensibly, Nine's Wide World of Sports goes to an ad and we're spared. I'm surprised the AFL didn't see this, ring up the Adelaide Crows and tell them that they weren't allowed to join the competition. Actually I'm even more surprised that they didn't steal these ideas for their own Grand Final 'spectaculars'