Somebody else blogged on this once (raise your hand, I can't be stuffed looking it up), but one site I just can't get enough of is Classic TV Guides. Let's set the wayback time travelling machine (in keeping with the trend of the last post) to a simpler time, almost 22 years ago to Monday September 7th, 1981 and see the highlights of the days programming.
ABC
1.11 Wild Wild World Of Animals
1.35 The Original Laurel And Hardy
2.20 Lassie
2.55 The Adventures Of Sir Prancelot
6.25 The Goodies
6.54 Videodisc
9.55 Country Music
10.45 Close
50 minutes of country music until close? I can't believe they didn't pay MORE than 12 cents a day for that!
7
7.50 New Shmoo
4.00 Shirl's Neighbourhood with Shirl Strachan
4.30 Lassie
5.00 Wheel Of Fortune. Ernie Sigley and Adriana Xenides
6.00 The New Price Is Right. With Ian Turpie. (Premiere)
7.30 That's Incredible
1.20 Close
A veritable treasure chest of viewing for gameshow fans. Sigley version Wheel and the first episode of Turpie's still definative Price is Right. Note that 7 were also having a crack at screening Lassie.
9
6.30 King Leonardo And His Short Subjects
6.55 Go Health
7.30 The Bang Shang Gang
5.30 Family Feud. Daryl Somers
9.25 Go Lotto
9.30 The Don Lane Show
Not too much excitement on 9, although the Bang Shang Gang sound like they could have been providing something more than kiddies cartoons. I see 9 were the only channel doing 24 hour programming back then, and they didn't even fill the graveyard shift with crappy informercials and ads for tabletop dancing clubs either.
10
6.55 Religion
10.30 Bernard King Show
4.00 Simon Townsend's Wonder World
7.30 John Laws' World: National Parks, Playground or Paradise?
8.30 Prisoner
12.30 Close
The undisputed (Bernard) king of the box, even if the ratings say nobody was watching. Five minutes of religion in the morning (which one? It doesn't matter!) plus Towsend, Laws and Prisoner in it's prime = a star studded lineup that the networks would be pleased to have now. Well ahead of their time.
SBS
7.30 World News with George Donikian
8.00 Isaura The Slave. (Brazil)
Very much still in it's infancy. 4hrs 45mins of programming a night, no soccer and no Les Murray. And only one film that sounded like a thinly veiled porno. On the upside celebrity South Melbourne supporter Donikian features strongly.
Sunday, 31 August 2003
Time Travelling nut exposed
Remember Caz's time travel spammer? If you don't you're not trying because it only happened yesterday
Wired has a report on the nutbag behind the scheme.
A trail of Internet clues has fingered Robert "Robby" Todino as the source of the time-travel messages. In a telephone interview last week, the 22-year-old Woburn, Massachusetts, resident admitted that he has sent nearly 100 million of the bizarre messages since November 2001.
"It almost feels worthless now because the people who are monitoring my every move always seem to win. But it's the only form of communication I have right now," Todino said.
His father, Robert Todino Sr., worries that malicious users have preyed on Robby's "psychological problems" and bilked him out of money.
"What bothers me is that some people are trying to sell him equipment and take advantage of him," said Todino Sr. "He's invested a lot of money into it and has been hurt by it."
But Robby insists that he is "perfectly mentally stable," and that the time-travel technology he seeks is out there somewhere.
"A lot of people will say the stuff I talk about is crazy and out of this world. But I know for a fact that it is true and does exist. Untrained minds may disagree with me, but they don't have access to the sources that I do," he said.
He continues,
Todino believes that if it hadn't been for an intervention by "the conspiracy," he might finally have laid his hands on a time-travel machine.
"There are forces that are constantly monitoring, and anyone who tries to send something to those coordinates will get it blocked," he said. "But certain intergalactic couriers have the means to deliver the stuff to me. And I'm sure if I pursued it I could get something out of that."
I've travelled into the future (President Schwarzenneger sends his regards) and I can tell young Mr. Todino that he's got an extended stay in a psychiatric facility coming his way.
Wired has a report on the nutbag behind the scheme.
A trail of Internet clues has fingered Robert "Robby" Todino as the source of the time-travel messages. In a telephone interview last week, the 22-year-old Woburn, Massachusetts, resident admitted that he has sent nearly 100 million of the bizarre messages since November 2001.
"It almost feels worthless now because the people who are monitoring my every move always seem to win. But it's the only form of communication I have right now," Todino said.
His father, Robert Todino Sr., worries that malicious users have preyed on Robby's "psychological problems" and bilked him out of money.
"What bothers me is that some people are trying to sell him equipment and take advantage of him," said Todino Sr. "He's invested a lot of money into it and has been hurt by it."
But Robby insists that he is "perfectly mentally stable," and that the time-travel technology he seeks is out there somewhere.
"A lot of people will say the stuff I talk about is crazy and out of this world. But I know for a fact that it is true and does exist. Untrained minds may disagree with me, but they don't have access to the sources that I do," he said.
He continues,
Todino believes that if it hadn't been for an intervention by "the conspiracy," he might finally have laid his hands on a time-travel machine.
"There are forces that are constantly monitoring, and anyone who tries to send something to those coordinates will get it blocked," he said. "But certain intergalactic couriers have the means to deliver the stuff to me. And I'm sure if I pursued it I could get something out of that."
I've travelled into the future (President Schwarzenneger sends his regards) and I can tell young Mr. Todino that he's got an extended stay in a psychiatric facility coming his way.
Public Apology
You may remember way back (well a couple of months ago anyway) when I rated the AFL club songs I gave the impossibly jaunty Sydney tune a rather low rating. Well after hearing it in full today for the first time in ages, and realising that it has a twanging banjo solo in the middle, I've decided to award it extra points. They don't do the bizarre "Up there Cazaly" ripoff song in Melbourne now either, which is a positive step.
I ranked them 11th, behind Essendon and Carlton but I'd now like to jump them above both those two.
You can be sure, though, that no matter how many times I hear the Port Adelaide song (and everytime is a torture) I'll never like it. I'm going to find some forgotten old tune and rip it off shamelessly to create them a new song one day. Not today though.
Speaking of that theme songs post a charming creature known only as "yo" (as in, "Yo dude - this guy is a dickhead") posted a comment a few days ago that said...
eagles rule eat shit
You can't argue with a well thought out and crafted argument like that.
I ranked them 11th, behind Essendon and Carlton but I'd now like to jump them above both those two.
You can be sure, though, that no matter how many times I hear the Port Adelaide song (and everytime is a torture) I'll never like it. I'm going to find some forgotten old tune and rip it off shamelessly to create them a new song one day. Not today though.
Speaking of that theme songs post a charming creature known only as "yo" (as in, "Yo dude - this guy is a dickhead") posted a comment a few days ago that said...
eagles rule eat shit
You can't argue with a well thought out and crafted argument like that.
Saturday, 30 August 2003
They never even sent a card
On the verge of the AFL finals I think it's time to reflect on the day I helped Collingwood win the 1990 Premiership. Yes I, as a 9-year-old, helped the Pies to their first flag in years.
1990, the first year of the AFL under it's new name, was an odd one. Round One featured the Brisbane Bears winning and Hawthorn beating Geelong in the Grand Final rematch by 125 points. Next week North Melbourne would score more than two-hundred in a 121pt victory over the hapless Tigers. Ludicrous scores were the order of the day almost weekly, you barely ever see a team crack 150 in a game yet thirteen years ago it would happen every round. Essendon finished the home-and-away season as minor premiers and earned the first finals week off. Melbourne and Hawthorn would clash in an elimination final (The Demons would beat the Hawks for the second straight week) and Collingwood would play West Coast at Waverley. This is where I come in.
I've got no idea why I was there that day, I think the guy from school I went with must have been a Collingwood fan or something. Given that the only other memory I have of this guy is that we once played Double Dragon II on my NES and he lived near the old Camberwell tip we can't have been that close friends.
It was a close game all day. Collingwood by 5 at quarter-time, 12 at half-time and 2 at three-quarter-time. They were kicking to the scoreboard end during the final term and were clinging onto a one point lead deep in the last quarter when the ball was driven inside the Eagles 50. Peter Sumich took a grab deep in the left forward pocket and was lining up his kick when the final siren sounded. We'd been standing right up on the fence in that pocket all day, and now with the scores level and time elapsed one of the top goalkickers was standing a few feet from us lining up one of the most important kicks of his career. How did we react? With a sense of awe befitting the occasion? With respect for the enormity of the situation unfolding in front of us? Hell no, we started abusing the bastard with all we had. I can't remember exactly what was said, I'm sure that I wasn't as foul mouthed then as I am now so it was all probably pretty weak ("You're a very stupid stupid head man!") but the desired effect was had and he missed the kick causing a draw. You may note I'm conveniently ignoring the fact that it was a ludicrously hard kick and instead claiming victory for Victorian football on my own behalf but you'll have to live with that. The crowd of 57,546 (thank you AFL Tables) fell silent and a replay was scheduled a week later on the same ground.
We then proceeded to ransack the belongings of the Eagles cheersquad as they were having a kick on the ground afterwards. The rolls of stickytape I flogged from them that day were still being used in my household well into the middle of the decade. Sadly the big wooden pole I flogged was slightly less useful and spent most of it's last few years sitting next to our fridge waiting to be used for something.
I've never actually seen the game since, but if the camera angle focuses on him in front of the crowd you'll surely see me hurling some fairly lame abuse at ol' Pete.
The Eagles had enjoyed the last of their luck by forcing a draw and lost the replay by 59 points. They went on to beat Melbourne by five goals in a Semi Final at their third Waverley game in three weeks before losing to Essendon in the Prelim final. The Pies faced off against the Bombers a week later in an October Grand Final, punched on at quarter-time and ended up as 48 point winners.
So, Collingwood's 1990 Premiership could not have been possible without me. Sadly I've never been able to engineer the same sort of result for Melbourne, although I did cause Tony Modra to kick ten goals in a game for Fremantle during 1999 by specifically requesting to his face that he didn't do it an hour before the game and I informed Shane Woewodin he was going to win the Brownlow halfway through the 2000 season to which he responded "Nah, not this year" and proceeded to win the thing, play a couple more ordinary seasons for us and then get traded to, conspiracy theory alert, Collingwood.
Maybe *hint* Essendon will *hint* lose their first finals game by a record *hint* margin this *hint* year?
1990, the first year of the AFL under it's new name, was an odd one. Round One featured the Brisbane Bears winning and Hawthorn beating Geelong in the Grand Final rematch by 125 points. Next week North Melbourne would score more than two-hundred in a 121pt victory over the hapless Tigers. Ludicrous scores were the order of the day almost weekly, you barely ever see a team crack 150 in a game yet thirteen years ago it would happen every round. Essendon finished the home-and-away season as minor premiers and earned the first finals week off. Melbourne and Hawthorn would clash in an elimination final (The Demons would beat the Hawks for the second straight week) and Collingwood would play West Coast at Waverley. This is where I come in.
I've got no idea why I was there that day, I think the guy from school I went with must have been a Collingwood fan or something. Given that the only other memory I have of this guy is that we once played Double Dragon II on my NES and he lived near the old Camberwell tip we can't have been that close friends.
It was a close game all day. Collingwood by 5 at quarter-time, 12 at half-time and 2 at three-quarter-time. They were kicking to the scoreboard end during the final term and were clinging onto a one point lead deep in the last quarter when the ball was driven inside the Eagles 50. Peter Sumich took a grab deep in the left forward pocket and was lining up his kick when the final siren sounded. We'd been standing right up on the fence in that pocket all day, and now with the scores level and time elapsed one of the top goalkickers was standing a few feet from us lining up one of the most important kicks of his career. How did we react? With a sense of awe befitting the occasion? With respect for the enormity of the situation unfolding in front of us? Hell no, we started abusing the bastard with all we had. I can't remember exactly what was said, I'm sure that I wasn't as foul mouthed then as I am now so it was all probably pretty weak ("You're a very stupid stupid head man!") but the desired effect was had and he missed the kick causing a draw. You may note I'm conveniently ignoring the fact that it was a ludicrously hard kick and instead claiming victory for Victorian football on my own behalf but you'll have to live with that. The crowd of 57,546 (thank you AFL Tables) fell silent and a replay was scheduled a week later on the same ground.
We then proceeded to ransack the belongings of the Eagles cheersquad as they were having a kick on the ground afterwards. The rolls of stickytape I flogged from them that day were still being used in my household well into the middle of the decade. Sadly the big wooden pole I flogged was slightly less useful and spent most of it's last few years sitting next to our fridge waiting to be used for something.
I've never actually seen the game since, but if the camera angle focuses on him in front of the crowd you'll surely see me hurling some fairly lame abuse at ol' Pete.
The Eagles had enjoyed the last of their luck by forcing a draw and lost the replay by 59 points. They went on to beat Melbourne by five goals in a Semi Final at their third Waverley game in three weeks before losing to Essendon in the Prelim final. The Pies faced off against the Bombers a week later in an October Grand Final, punched on at quarter-time and ended up as 48 point winners.
So, Collingwood's 1990 Premiership could not have been possible without me. Sadly I've never been able to engineer the same sort of result for Melbourne, although I did cause Tony Modra to kick ten goals in a game for Fremantle during 1999 by specifically requesting to his face that he didn't do it an hour before the game and I informed Shane Woewodin he was going to win the Brownlow halfway through the 2000 season to which he responded "Nah, not this year" and proceeded to win the thing, play a couple more ordinary seasons for us and then get traded to, conspiracy theory alert, Collingwood.
Maybe *hint* Essendon will *hint* lose their first finals game by a record *hint* margin this *hint* year?
"Music Television is shit" shock
I'm watching Video Hits. No idea why but I am, and it's fulfilling all my suspicions about how shit the songs in the Top 40 are. I look at the charts every week and am lucky to have heard one or two of the top 20, after watching this show I'm happy to return to blissful ignorance.
And could they play that bloody ad where the guy horns onto the Shakira cardboard cutout any more? It's on once every ad break. I know they're bankrolling the show but surely as a huge multinational company they've got more than one advertisement in the vaults that they can use. How about something with a scantily clad Britney Spears and a donkey?
And there's another cover of Boys of Summer going around. Is that song becoming the new "Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds"? A standard cover for every bogan with a guitar and drums.
Whoa, and don't get me started on this band Jet. How they managed to launch a record company bidding war is a mystery to me. Tonight on Channel 10 "When cocaine snorting, ponytailed record executives go too far" - a shocking tale of "WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING PAYING THESE DUDS 5 MILLION DOLLARS?"
And could they play that bloody ad where the guy horns onto the Shakira cardboard cutout any more? It's on once every ad break. I know they're bankrolling the show but surely as a huge multinational company they've got more than one advertisement in the vaults that they can use. How about something with a scantily clad Britney Spears and a donkey?
And there's another cover of Boys of Summer going around. Is that song becoming the new "Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds"? A standard cover for every bogan with a guitar and drums.
Whoa, and don't get me started on this band Jet. How they managed to launch a record company bidding war is a mystery to me. Tonight on Channel 10 "When cocaine snorting, ponytailed record executives go too far" - a shocking tale of "WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING PAYING THESE DUDS 5 MILLION DOLLARS?"
All the excitement of the finals...
Except that we're shit. Yes, it's the final day of the season for Melbourne fans who have been tortured by our worst season since the infamous 1997 shambles. And have I told you how much I hate this fucking priority pick? Even I, the most strident person in favor of taking anyone who suggests throwing the games to get it outside a shooting them, am having a crisis about what I want to happen today. I just know deep down they'll use the extra pick on some dud who's never seen a football in their lives before, some kid from the jungles of Tanzania, so we may as well win today.
I must say I won't be celebrating if we do, and I won't be upset if we don't. Thanks to the AFL for screwing up the last round of the year for us.
I must say I won't be celebrating if we do, and I won't be upset if we don't. Thanks to the AFL for screwing up the last round of the year for us.
Friday, 29 August 2003
Conspiracy
Isn't it suspicious how clearly shit film "The Hot Chick" was universally panned by critics when it first came out in the cinemas but now that it's been released on video/dvd they've decided it's not so bad after all? One star ratings are suddenly 2 and half stars.
Brown paper bags full of cash involved somewhere along the line? I think so.
Brown paper bags full of cash involved somewhere along the line? I think so.
Monday, 25 August 2003
Ungrateful Bastards!
What is it with Melbourne players missing a whole season and then deciding to piss off to another club for cash?
Steven Powell missed all of 2001, came back in 2002 and then pissed off to St. Kilda at the end of the year for a fat wad of cash.
Now Guy Rigoni is looking at a similar scam after missing all of 2002.
I'll be following the progress of Troy Broadbridge very closely next year, after knee and shoulder injuries put him out of action this season. If he even hints at legging it to another club I'll be calling for a Royal Commission.
Steven Powell missed all of 2001, came back in 2002 and then pissed off to St. Kilda at the end of the year for a fat wad of cash.
Now Guy Rigoni is looking at a similar scam after missing all of 2002.
I'll be following the progress of Troy Broadbridge very closely next year, after knee and shoulder injuries put him out of action this season. If he even hints at legging it to another club I'll be calling for a Royal Commission.
Away with you
I'm tremendously amused by the cover of the Primary Colors DVD that contains a glowing endorsement of the film as "a must see" by Richard Wilkins.
Who seriously expects anyone to give a shit what Richard f'ing Wilkins thinks about a film?
Who seriously expects anyone to give a shit what Richard f'ing Wilkins thinks about a film?
Dilemma
For those of us who follow shit AFL teams it's becoming harder to know who you want to win the thing this year.
If North or Hawthorn had made the 8 it would have been a lock, you'd go for them in the first week and then say "oh well, it was never meant to be" when they got knocked out then sit back and watch some interstate team win the thing. But who do we get representing Victoria instead? Bloody Essendon and Collingwood.
Now I've never hated Essendon, but ever since that day they traumatised me by reeling in a 45 point lead in the last quarter and winning by one I've been deeply suspicious of them. The 2000 Grand Final didn't help, and the less said about the Matthew Lloyd "Oh I have been shot! Now I will kick a goal" incident from a few weeks back the better. I revelled in their Grand Final loss a couple of years back and predicted them to fail miserably this season - sadly they actually look a chance.
Collingwood is a tough one for me. I might be the only person in the world who doesn't go for them that actually somewhat likes the Pies. They've got a very jolly theme - come on, where else have you seen the word "cakewalk" used in a song? - and their colors are sensible. We also beat them a lot in the past. Besides that I have many friends who go for them, and as long as they're not playing Melbourne I'd rather see them go home happy then hold the sort of grudge that everyone else has without actually knowing why.
I even quite like Eddie McGuire. Does this make me an awful person?
On the other hand I hate those fucking mutant fans in their cheersquad like "Joffa" who should be forcibly sterilized. You'll never hear the end of it from those glory-hunting idiots if they win it, so we don't want them to get up.
As for the others, Brisbane have had it enough. West Coast have good colors but a shit theme song. Port Adelaide have neither of the above. Fremantle have a song that everyone except me hates. Sydney winning would mean there's only two sides that won the comp for the last time longer ago than Melbourne and Adelaide are ok, I still have fond memories of them doing St. Kilda in 1997, but I can't stand Wayne Carey or Ronnie Burns.
The best case scenario for me would be for Essendon to somehow heroically make the GF, against Sydney or Fremantle and then lose by a point in the last minute to a Jeff Farmer/Troy Simmonds/Troy Longmuir goal when Matthew Lloyd gives away a freekick causing a goal (why's he playing in defense? I haven't decided that yet.), and resulting in Kevin Sheedy spontaneously combusting in the coaches box.
It's going to be a long September.
If North or Hawthorn had made the 8 it would have been a lock, you'd go for them in the first week and then say "oh well, it was never meant to be" when they got knocked out then sit back and watch some interstate team win the thing. But who do we get representing Victoria instead? Bloody Essendon and Collingwood.
Now I've never hated Essendon, but ever since that day they traumatised me by reeling in a 45 point lead in the last quarter and winning by one I've been deeply suspicious of them. The 2000 Grand Final didn't help, and the less said about the Matthew Lloyd "Oh I have been shot! Now I will kick a goal" incident from a few weeks back the better. I revelled in their Grand Final loss a couple of years back and predicted them to fail miserably this season - sadly they actually look a chance.
Collingwood is a tough one for me. I might be the only person in the world who doesn't go for them that actually somewhat likes the Pies. They've got a very jolly theme - come on, where else have you seen the word "cakewalk" used in a song? - and their colors are sensible. We also beat them a lot in the past. Besides that I have many friends who go for them, and as long as they're not playing Melbourne I'd rather see them go home happy then hold the sort of grudge that everyone else has without actually knowing why.
I even quite like Eddie McGuire. Does this make me an awful person?
On the other hand I hate those fucking mutant fans in their cheersquad like "Joffa" who should be forcibly sterilized. You'll never hear the end of it from those glory-hunting idiots if they win it, so we don't want them to get up.
As for the others, Brisbane have had it enough. West Coast have good colors but a shit theme song. Port Adelaide have neither of the above. Fremantle have a song that everyone except me hates. Sydney winning would mean there's only two sides that won the comp for the last time longer ago than Melbourne and Adelaide are ok, I still have fond memories of them doing St. Kilda in 1997, but I can't stand Wayne Carey or Ronnie Burns.
The best case scenario for me would be for Essendon to somehow heroically make the GF, against Sydney or Fremantle and then lose by a point in the last minute to a Jeff Farmer/Troy Simmonds/Troy Longmuir goal when Matthew Lloyd gives away a freekick causing a goal (why's he playing in defense? I haven't decided that yet.), and resulting in Kevin Sheedy spontaneously combusting in the coaches box.
It's going to be a long September.
Straight to hell
Battle Royale is the sort of film only the Japanese would make, and even then it's only to make sure we all know they're sicker than the "Ilsa - She Wolf of the SS" producing Germans (actually I think it was American, but work with me here).
I'm not sure what sick bastard sat around and thought up a film where 42 14-year-olds butcher each other on a deserted island in some zany government program but I've got the sneaking suspicion that they're probably in charge of childrens programming on Tokyo TV or something. It's not that bad a movie really, there's some rather entertaining moments in it (especially the introduction video the kiddies have to watch) and some tremendous brutality for those of you who enjoy that sort of thing, but it's not exactly required viewing. Bizarrely enough there's a running countdown of how many of the little dears are still alive - it looks like one of those jolly Japanese horse racing games you download and attempt to play despite a complete lack of understanding of the language.
That said I'd watch the sequel which has apparently been made - even if it does seem reminscent of that rotten Rutger Hauer film "Wedlock", a movie so bad it features a walk-on part by Warwick Capper.
IMDB should give me a fat cheque for all the links to them I've done in this post.
I'm not sure what sick bastard sat around and thought up a film where 42 14-year-olds butcher each other on a deserted island in some zany government program but I've got the sneaking suspicion that they're probably in charge of childrens programming on Tokyo TV or something. It's not that bad a movie really, there's some rather entertaining moments in it (especially the introduction video the kiddies have to watch) and some tremendous brutality for those of you who enjoy that sort of thing, but it's not exactly required viewing. Bizarrely enough there's a running countdown of how many of the little dears are still alive - it looks like one of those jolly Japanese horse racing games you download and attempt to play despite a complete lack of understanding of the language.
That said I'd watch the sequel which has apparently been made - even if it does seem reminscent of that rotten Rutger Hauer film "Wedlock", a movie so bad it features a walk-on part by Warwick Capper.
IMDB should give me a fat cheque for all the links to them I've done in this post.
I hate reality television
I can't say I've ever actually watched an episode ("Hey, so what would you know then?" Fuck off!) but I've been seeing these ads for Australian Idol and have been left distinctly unimpressed. I don't understand the obsession some people have. The "traffic accident" justification only goes so far - if we really enjoyed watching television that made no sense and continuously lurched from disaster to disaster the Mick Molloy Show would have made a far greater impression.
It all seems a little, I don't know... weak? Your reality show stereotypes (fat guy, pretty chick, crazy ethnic dude with big hair) stand around singing horrid renditions of songs that have been covered by every lounge singer in the world a hundred times better and we're supposed to ring up and vote as to which one was best. A nil-all draw if the ad is anything to go by. If one of them got up and sung "Fuck tha Police" or "Cop Killer" I'd tune in - but they did "What a Wonderful World" instead and I threw up.
I should have entered this competition and done my award winning* karoake rendition of "Dreadlock Holiday". That would have given these pop music rejects to think about. And even if I failed at least I could ask Marcia Hines for Deni's phone number.
Call me when they take all the remaining contestants and either shoot them or lock them in a house somewhere.
* Most pissed performance - 2001-03
It all seems a little, I don't know... weak? Your reality show stereotypes (fat guy, pretty chick, crazy ethnic dude with big hair) stand around singing horrid renditions of songs that have been covered by every lounge singer in the world a hundred times better and we're supposed to ring up and vote as to which one was best. A nil-all draw if the ad is anything to go by. If one of them got up and sung "Fuck tha Police" or "Cop Killer" I'd tune in - but they did "What a Wonderful World" instead and I threw up.
I should have entered this competition and done my award winning* karoake rendition of "Dreadlock Holiday". That would have given these pop music rejects to think about. And even if I failed at least I could ask Marcia Hines for Deni's phone number.
Call me when they take all the remaining contestants and either shoot them or lock them in a house somewhere.
* Most pissed performance - 2001-03
Sunday, 24 August 2003
Bizarre Camberwell
We used to have a videogame arcade called "Magic City". It was a tremendously silly name, but from it's opening in the mid 90's until it's closure just months ago it provided many great memories.
I remember the four-way Daytona USA challenges where we'd bet money that, for the day, was completely absurd. Thankfully despite being shit I reguarly benefited from the catch-up logic of the game and managed to win. The greatest victory was one where I engineered a massive last corner crash and stormed home to win the money.
I fondly recall firing the puck of their inappropriately placed Table Hockey game out the door and halfway across Burke Road. How we laughed - especially as it almost decapitated a group of irritating schoolchildren. Well, some other irritating schoolchildren anyway.
It was there that I clocked Virtua Striker 2 countless times.
You could tell it was on the way out a year ago when they took half the machines out and put a big wall in the middle of the place. Then suddenly, as I walked in to continue my love affair with the Rescue 911 pinball machine that had such a low replay score that you could spend half a day playing on $2 it was all walled up. The days of high-class videogaming in Camberwell are over.
After a few months there's a sign announcing that a cafe (shock horror!) will replace Magic City. And what are the geniuses behind this project going to call the new upmarket eatery for the local yuppies.... It's going to called, umm, "Magic City". These people really have no imagination.
I remember the four-way Daytona USA challenges where we'd bet money that, for the day, was completely absurd. Thankfully despite being shit I reguarly benefited from the catch-up logic of the game and managed to win. The greatest victory was one where I engineered a massive last corner crash and stormed home to win the money.
I fondly recall firing the puck of their inappropriately placed Table Hockey game out the door and halfway across Burke Road. How we laughed - especially as it almost decapitated a group of irritating schoolchildren. Well, some other irritating schoolchildren anyway.
It was there that I clocked Virtua Striker 2 countless times.
You could tell it was on the way out a year ago when they took half the machines out and put a big wall in the middle of the place. Then suddenly, as I walked in to continue my love affair with the Rescue 911 pinball machine that had such a low replay score that you could spend half a day playing on $2 it was all walled up. The days of high-class videogaming in Camberwell are over.
After a few months there's a sign announcing that a cafe (shock horror!) will replace Magic City. And what are the geniuses behind this project going to call the new upmarket eatery for the local yuppies.... It's going to called, umm, "Magic City". These people really have no imagination.
Friday, 22 August 2003
Telecommunication troubles
I may have lost my trusty old Nokia 3310 phone. There's a chance it could still be in my locker at work but I'm preparing for the worst.
Is this the end of the phone with the Melbourne AFL cover, Super Mario Brothers ringtone and absurdly high Snake II High Score (2092 - for anyone taking notes)? More news as it comes to hand.
Is this the end of the phone with the Melbourne AFL cover, Super Mario Brothers ringtone and absurdly high Snake II High Score (2092 - for anyone taking notes)? More news as it comes to hand.
Tuesday, 19 August 2003
Raelians can help you escape the catholic church
But where's the fucking cloned baby already you FREAKS? The bloody thing should be almost a year old by now and ready to take over the world with it's super UFO-aware intelligence and genetically mutated and/or robotic limbs.
"Each year, Brazil's Catholic Church is losing millions of 'faithfuls' because they prefer religions that are more suitable to their way of life. The Raelian Movement of Brazil commits to increase this bleeding by revealing one of the Church's best kept secret: all is required to officially get out is to fill out an Apostasy form and send it to your diocese."
"Each year, Brazil's Catholic Church is losing millions of 'faithfuls' because they prefer religions that are more suitable to their way of life. The Raelian Movement of Brazil commits to increase this bleeding by revealing one of the Church's best kept secret: all is required to officially get out is to fill out an Apostasy form and send it to your diocese."
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