I'm used to nobody knowing what the hell most of the new music I listen to is. In a way it's a blessing, but at the same time you always feel like it would be nice if SOMEBODY knew what was going on.
How shocked was I, then, when I randomly heard MGMT's Time To Pretend on Nova the other day. A fine song, part of my top 50 of 2007 (not that you know now that the post has been destroyed with the rest of my recent archives *boo hoo*) but hardly your kommercial radio klassics. I'm guessing they dull out the bits about honking onto heroin.
First Nova save Kavalee from the scrapheap, and now this. They might be my favourite radio station - although that's not hard given the steaming pile of slops that everyone else on the dial is serving up.
Thursday, 15 May 2008
Wednesday, 14 May 2008
Now that's entertainment
While Ted Bailleu is getting knifed in the back by his entire party, the Western Australian opposition leader is going from strength to strength.
West Australian Opposition Leader Troy Buswell says there is "absolutely no substance" to reports he once did something inappropriate to a quokka, a small marsupial found on a holiday island off Perth.
Mr Buswell, who has admitted to sniffing the chair of a former Liberal party colleague and snapping the bra of a Labor staffer, was questioned on the rumours today while attending a press conference at Parliament House.
It followed his sacking from the frontbench yesterday of former leader Paul Omodei, who said recently there would be "more stories" to emerge about Mr Buswell and that his leadership would "die the death of a thousand cuts".
Asked if he had done anything inappropriate to a quokka, Mr Buswell replied: "No".
Asked if he was aware of any rumours about actions involving the small marsupials, which are indigenous to Rottnest Island, Mr Buswell said: "I have absolutely no idea about these stories of quokkas on Rottnest.
"I'm not being backward in saying that I'm not a perfect individual and you know I've had a robust past and there may be elements of that that have proved offensive to people.
"I don't shy away away from that at all, but I'm not aware that I've caused any offence to a quokka."
Asked how the rumours had started, Mr Buswell said: "I have no idea.
"I'm not going to comment on it. All I've heard is people use the word quokka and then smile and laugh.
"I'm just not interested to be honest with you."
He said none of his MPs had come to him to report the rumour.
"Members of the press have in passing mentioned the word quokka and suggested to me that something inappropriate in the past may have happened.
"Nothing has, absolutely nothing."
So, what have inappropriate things have you done to a Quokka.
West Australian Opposition Leader Troy Buswell says there is "absolutely no substance" to reports he once did something inappropriate to a quokka, a small marsupial found on a holiday island off Perth.
Mr Buswell, who has admitted to sniffing the chair of a former Liberal party colleague and snapping the bra of a Labor staffer, was questioned on the rumours today while attending a press conference at Parliament House.
It followed his sacking from the frontbench yesterday of former leader Paul Omodei, who said recently there would be "more stories" to emerge about Mr Buswell and that his leadership would "die the death of a thousand cuts".
Asked if he had done anything inappropriate to a quokka, Mr Buswell replied: "No".
Asked if he was aware of any rumours about actions involving the small marsupials, which are indigenous to Rottnest Island, Mr Buswell said: "I have absolutely no idea about these stories of quokkas on Rottnest.
"I'm not being backward in saying that I'm not a perfect individual and you know I've had a robust past and there may be elements of that that have proved offensive to people.
"I don't shy away away from that at all, but I'm not aware that I've caused any offence to a quokka."
Asked how the rumours had started, Mr Buswell said: "I have no idea.
"I'm not going to comment on it. All I've heard is people use the word quokka and then smile and laugh.
"I'm just not interested to be honest with you."
He said none of his MPs had come to him to report the rumour.
"Members of the press have in passing mentioned the word quokka and suggested to me that something inappropriate in the past may have happened.
"Nothing has, absolutely nothing."
So, what have inappropriate things have you done to a Quokka.
Best Election Ever
New Brunswick, Canada. 1987. One party wins every freaking seat.
Liberal - 58 60.39%
Progressive Conservative - 0 28.59%
Cop that!
Liberal - 58 60.39%
Progressive Conservative - 0 28.59%
Cop that!
Tuesday, 6 May 2008
Monday, 5 May 2008
I Feel Love
In the famous words of Rex Hunt "You have floored me. Absolutely floored me" The man who was alleged to have run down city alleyways with no strides on and payed for his rooting in coins might not have been talking about football that day but he may as well have been.
I've seen something today that I'm not sure actually happened yet. Like a soldier who ends up behind enemy lines, sees half his unit butchered and somehow guns his way out to glory I'm still not sure what the long term effects of this feeling I'm having will be, but for now it feels great to be alive. Like Rambo killing 500 people single handedly what Melbourne did today is something that nobody would believe in real life. Except it was real life, so screw you it's in the books and it happened.
If you didn't go to today's game you missed something special. Are interstate or overseas, permanently crippled, or had to work then you have an excuse. If you simply didn't show up because you didn't expect us to win then give yourself an uppercut, because the second half of today's game was one of the most special I have ever seen. It was like the fall of communism - after being oppressed for so long the people finally saw hope, and just when you expected it to be crushed by tanks the oppressors stepped aside and let them experience freedom. Of course, I would have preferred the Romanian model where we seized power violently and killed a few people along the way rather than doing it peacefully, but when you're living in a repressive dictatorship you take freedom wherever you can get it.
(Demonblog - the only website that gives you the Cold War footballing analogies that you need to get you through your work day)
As previously discussed I've written every single word that there is to describe a loss in the last couple of years, so let's almost completely ignore the first half. We were awful. Absolutely mince. Matthew Bate played one of the worst halves that I've ever seen, Pavlich did what he does best - stitching us up inside 50 - and Chris Tarrant of all people was murdering us. When you're being rumbled by the most overrated player of all time you may as well pull the pin and move the club to Orbost. We simply couldn't put a score on the board. The defence did reasonably well as usual given that the ball was down there every 30 seconds, with Jared Rivers - officially my favourite player - all over the place spoiling, hassling and doing all the stuff that you would never know about if you just looked at the stats. Moloney was shite, and Brock was getting plenty of the ball without actually doing anything with it.
We turned for half-time 51 points behind, and with all of three goals on the board. Everyone knows what was suppoeed to happen from there - another hundred point loss and nervous breakdowns all over the place. Then, something miraculous happened. Take this stat into account, you will hear and read it everywhere in the next few days, in over 110 years of VFL/AFL football only one team had ever come back from that far behind at half time to win. So, history and form were against us. That's what made that third quarter so much more amazing.
Suddenly, Freo stopped winning everything out of the centre. Mark Jamar played one of his best games ever in shutting down the Freo ruck department which, led by freaking giraffe Aaron Sandilands, had dominated the first half and almost carried the Dockers to a win over Geelong last week. Goals from Green, who had been kept quiet in the first half but played a great second, and Miller who had what must have been the best game of his career dragged us to within 40 points. Exactly what we'd seen every other week of the season - a bit of work in junk time when it didn't matter. Then Robbo kicked one before Aaron Davey put his annual contender in for goal of the year by selling more dummies in a 30 second period than ANY PLAYER EVER before goalling from 50 and we started to believe that maybe, just maybe something was going to happen.
Moloney and Bate, who had been putrid early came out all guns blazing and with the likes of Wheatley finally backing themselves to have a kick or take time to throw a handball around things were starting to look up. It's amazing how confidence was suddenly injected back into the players and the fans simultaneously. The announced crowd of 19.5k seemed to be suffering from the same sort of creative accounting that is usually only seen in the A-League, but with the majority of Freo fans below us in the Ponsford Stand the place was rocking when we started to climb back into it. The pressure of a weight simultaneously lifting off 15,000 people at the same time was infectious, and when Davey goalled again it was ON LIKE DONKEY KONG. With a quarter and a bit to play we were running riot over the Dockers. They had stopped. Then, just to take the piss Pavlich bobbed up after not being seen for the rest of the quarter to kick two in a row and blow the margin back out to five goals at the last change. We were still a chance but I honestly though that sank us. In retrospect it was probably better to cop them just before 3/4 time rather than after it because it meant that their momentum was stopped by the final change rather than gaining ground in the first few minutes of the 4th.
So, how about a third quarter comeback? Well, 32 points wouldn't have been our best ever but it would have to go close. In recent history only our wins at Optus Oval in 2003 and THAT final in 2000 have even produced comebacks of more than 20 points in the last quarter. That's in 2161 games since 1896. TWO FREAKING THOUSAND ONE HUNDRED GAMES PLUS. Are you starting to realise how unlikely this was?
Then, the last quarter starts and we erupt like I have rarely seen a Melbourne team before. This shit was like if they'd dropped the atomic bomb on Krakatoa. First Moloney made amends for some of his crimes early on, then Wonaeamirri - the biggest cult figure since early period Davey - got one. Miller added another, amongst some more great work around the ground and Robbo finally applied his 4th quarter heroics to a real situation rather than junk time to put us within ten points. Then down the other end douchebag Farmer (more on him later) benefited from Garland's wildly shite attempting at a spoil to steady the ship and give them back a double figures margin.
Enter the Robbo and Wona show. Robbo snaps one from the pocket to cancel out the Farmer goal, and then Wona adds two in a minute to put us in front and debut some of the most exciting goal celebrations seen in recent years. Seriously, he could get a government grant to do a tour of the flying, spinning frog dance move that he was pulling off today. He had four - he is a gun in the making. Still, it could have gone horribly wrong. How many times does a team drag itself back out of horror to stick it's nose in front and then get rolled anyway? Well, given that we had NEVER BEEN IN THIS SITUATION BEFORE (if I forgot to mention that...) I guess we weren't going to find out. Davey marked in the square and put us 8 points in front, but worrying there was still 6 minutes left. Plenty of time for us to shit it and give the game away. Green had a chance to win it and depending on who you asked either had the ball touched on the line or got jibbed out of a goal by an umpire who was on crack and couldn't see it cross the line. We weren't out of the woods yet, and suddenly Freo charged. Douchebag and Mundy both kicked points before Bruce had another chance to nail it and missed. 32 minutes in, the ball lands in Pavlich's arms down the other end and with more than enough time to get it out of the centre again things start to look grim. Thankfully with an unguarded goal square and time rapidly running out he hurried it and missed. Then we needed to get our kick-ins right for almost the first time in a decade. We turned it over once more for douche to add another point, and Daniel Bell was forced to kick out with just 1 second left. Game, set, match and some pretty wild scenes.
Actually I felt more like spewing than celebrating, but it was such a weight off that it wasn't funny. We will not be the first team in 40 years to not win a game, we are a chance of winning more than Fitzroy did in 1996. My mum did her bit for the family record of heart attacks by not being able to move post match due to massive back spasms. We're like that. Before she met me (!) she'd never been to a game and loosely claimed to be a Collingwood fan due to some family bullshit. Now she's losing the plot and having spasms over close results - I feel somewhat guilty.
Meanwhile, in a special Demonblog message to Jeff Farmer I'd simply like to say. COP THAT YOU PRICK. I was looking straight at your lips when you said "look at the scoreboard to one of our guys during that last quarter". Well, for your benefit lets take another look at that scoreboard now. If you're waiting for the replay, look away now...
Didn't quite get that? Put off by the chaos on the ground? Let's have a closer look.
Read my lips Jeff. If they hadn't been showing the 2000 Prelim on the big screen pre-match (which, may I say, is a great innovation and I would like to send a list of requests for them to show next) that featured you running riot and kicking 8 then it would have been even sweeter to watch you crash and burn.
2008 Allen Jakovich Medal Votes
For the first time in so long it was a struggle to hand out votes. Under the Big Footy "vote for as many people as you want" system, I also had Davey, Green and McLean in as well. Davey was very stiff, Green played a great second half and McLean got a lot of the ball even if I'm not convinced he did as much with it as he could.
5 - Miller
4 - Rivers
3 - Wonaeamirri
2 - Robertson
1 - Jamar
Apologies to Bate (second half only), Carroll, Davey, Green, McLean, Warnock, Wheatley, White
Leaderboard
14 - Nathan Jones
13 - Cameron Bruce
12 - Brad Green
9 - Brock McLean
8 - James McDonald
6 - Paul Johnson
6 - Cale Morton (Co-Leader: 2008 Jeff Hilton Medal for Rookie of the Year)
6 - Austin Wonaeamirri (Co-Leader: 2008 Jeff Hilton Medal for Rookie of the Year)
6 - Jared Rivers (Leader: 2008 Marcus Seecamp Medal for Defender of the Year)
5 - Brad Miller
4 - Brent Moloney
4 - Aaron Davey
3 - Nathan Carroll
3 - Lynden Dunn
3 - Jeff White
2 - Russell Robertson
1 - Mark Jamar
Next Week
Nothing. Enjoy an extra week of being on a one match winning streak.
The Next Week
Adelaide away. Any danger of two in a row? I wouldn't hold your breath, you can be sure that Neil Craig and the other boffins at the Crows coaching institute will be doing exactly what I did and concentrating on the second half. They'll be as interested in where the Dockers went wrong as Mark Harvey will be. On paper they thump us, but after today who the fark knows what is supposed to happen anymore?
Weekend Watch
Last night - AFC Wimbledon win their promotion playoff 2-1 after being a goal down until the 83rd minute. Today Melbourne smash records to come back for a win. To quote Rex again.. "HOW GOOD IS THIS!"
I've seen something today that I'm not sure actually happened yet. Like a soldier who ends up behind enemy lines, sees half his unit butchered and somehow guns his way out to glory I'm still not sure what the long term effects of this feeling I'm having will be, but for now it feels great to be alive. Like Rambo killing 500 people single handedly what Melbourne did today is something that nobody would believe in real life. Except it was real life, so screw you it's in the books and it happened.
If you didn't go to today's game you missed something special. Are interstate or overseas, permanently crippled, or had to work then you have an excuse. If you simply didn't show up because you didn't expect us to win then give yourself an uppercut, because the second half of today's game was one of the most special I have ever seen. It was like the fall of communism - after being oppressed for so long the people finally saw hope, and just when you expected it to be crushed by tanks the oppressors stepped aside and let them experience freedom. Of course, I would have preferred the Romanian model where we seized power violently and killed a few people along the way rather than doing it peacefully, but when you're living in a repressive dictatorship you take freedom wherever you can get it.
(Demonblog - the only website that gives you the Cold War footballing analogies that you need to get you through your work day)
As previously discussed I've written every single word that there is to describe a loss in the last couple of years, so let's almost completely ignore the first half. We were awful. Absolutely mince. Matthew Bate played one of the worst halves that I've ever seen, Pavlich did what he does best - stitching us up inside 50 - and Chris Tarrant of all people was murdering us. When you're being rumbled by the most overrated player of all time you may as well pull the pin and move the club to Orbost. We simply couldn't put a score on the board. The defence did reasonably well as usual given that the ball was down there every 30 seconds, with Jared Rivers - officially my favourite player - all over the place spoiling, hassling and doing all the stuff that you would never know about if you just looked at the stats. Moloney was shite, and Brock was getting plenty of the ball without actually doing anything with it.
We turned for half-time 51 points behind, and with all of three goals on the board. Everyone knows what was suppoeed to happen from there - another hundred point loss and nervous breakdowns all over the place. Then, something miraculous happened. Take this stat into account, you will hear and read it everywhere in the next few days, in over 110 years of VFL/AFL football only one team had ever come back from that far behind at half time to win. So, history and form were against us. That's what made that third quarter so much more amazing.
Suddenly, Freo stopped winning everything out of the centre. Mark Jamar played one of his best games ever in shutting down the Freo ruck department which, led by freaking giraffe Aaron Sandilands, had dominated the first half and almost carried the Dockers to a win over Geelong last week. Goals from Green, who had been kept quiet in the first half but played a great second, and Miller who had what must have been the best game of his career dragged us to within 40 points. Exactly what we'd seen every other week of the season - a bit of work in junk time when it didn't matter. Then Robbo kicked one before Aaron Davey put his annual contender in for goal of the year by selling more dummies in a 30 second period than ANY PLAYER EVER before goalling from 50 and we started to believe that maybe, just maybe something was going to happen.
Moloney and Bate, who had been putrid early came out all guns blazing and with the likes of Wheatley finally backing themselves to have a kick or take time to throw a handball around things were starting to look up. It's amazing how confidence was suddenly injected back into the players and the fans simultaneously. The announced crowd of 19.5k seemed to be suffering from the same sort of creative accounting that is usually only seen in the A-League, but with the majority of Freo fans below us in the Ponsford Stand the place was rocking when we started to climb back into it. The pressure of a weight simultaneously lifting off 15,000 people at the same time was infectious, and when Davey goalled again it was ON LIKE DONKEY KONG. With a quarter and a bit to play we were running riot over the Dockers. They had stopped. Then, just to take the piss Pavlich bobbed up after not being seen for the rest of the quarter to kick two in a row and blow the margin back out to five goals at the last change. We were still a chance but I honestly though that sank us. In retrospect it was probably better to cop them just before 3/4 time rather than after it because it meant that their momentum was stopped by the final change rather than gaining ground in the first few minutes of the 4th.
So, how about a third quarter comeback? Well, 32 points wouldn't have been our best ever but it would have to go close. In recent history only our wins at Optus Oval in 2003 and THAT final in 2000 have even produced comebacks of more than 20 points in the last quarter. That's in 2161 games since 1896. TWO FREAKING THOUSAND ONE HUNDRED GAMES PLUS. Are you starting to realise how unlikely this was?
Then, the last quarter starts and we erupt like I have rarely seen a Melbourne team before. This shit was like if they'd dropped the atomic bomb on Krakatoa. First Moloney made amends for some of his crimes early on, then Wonaeamirri - the biggest cult figure since early period Davey - got one. Miller added another, amongst some more great work around the ground and Robbo finally applied his 4th quarter heroics to a real situation rather than junk time to put us within ten points. Then down the other end douchebag Farmer (more on him later) benefited from Garland's wildly shite attempting at a spoil to steady the ship and give them back a double figures margin.
Enter the Robbo and Wona show. Robbo snaps one from the pocket to cancel out the Farmer goal, and then Wona adds two in a minute to put us in front and debut some of the most exciting goal celebrations seen in recent years. Seriously, he could get a government grant to do a tour of the flying, spinning frog dance move that he was pulling off today. He had four - he is a gun in the making. Still, it could have gone horribly wrong. How many times does a team drag itself back out of horror to stick it's nose in front and then get rolled anyway? Well, given that we had NEVER BEEN IN THIS SITUATION BEFORE (if I forgot to mention that...) I guess we weren't going to find out. Davey marked in the square and put us 8 points in front, but worrying there was still 6 minutes left. Plenty of time for us to shit it and give the game away. Green had a chance to win it and depending on who you asked either had the ball touched on the line or got jibbed out of a goal by an umpire who was on crack and couldn't see it cross the line. We weren't out of the woods yet, and suddenly Freo charged. Douchebag and Mundy both kicked points before Bruce had another chance to nail it and missed. 32 minutes in, the ball lands in Pavlich's arms down the other end and with more than enough time to get it out of the centre again things start to look grim. Thankfully with an unguarded goal square and time rapidly running out he hurried it and missed. Then we needed to get our kick-ins right for almost the first time in a decade. We turned it over once more for douche to add another point, and Daniel Bell was forced to kick out with just 1 second left. Game, set, match and some pretty wild scenes.
Actually I felt more like spewing than celebrating, but it was such a weight off that it wasn't funny. We will not be the first team in 40 years to not win a game, we are a chance of winning more than Fitzroy did in 1996. My mum did her bit for the family record of heart attacks by not being able to move post match due to massive back spasms. We're like that. Before she met me (!) she'd never been to a game and loosely claimed to be a Collingwood fan due to some family bullshit. Now she's losing the plot and having spasms over close results - I feel somewhat guilty.
Meanwhile, in a special Demonblog message to Jeff Farmer I'd simply like to say. COP THAT YOU PRICK. I was looking straight at your lips when you said "look at the scoreboard to one of our guys during that last quarter". Well, for your benefit lets take another look at that scoreboard now. If you're waiting for the replay, look away now...
Didn't quite get that? Put off by the chaos on the ground? Let's have a closer look.
Read my lips Jeff. If they hadn't been showing the 2000 Prelim on the big screen pre-match (which, may I say, is a great innovation and I would like to send a list of requests for them to show next) that featured you running riot and kicking 8 then it would have been even sweeter to watch you crash and burn.
2008 Allen Jakovich Medal Votes
For the first time in so long it was a struggle to hand out votes. Under the Big Footy "vote for as many people as you want" system, I also had Davey, Green and McLean in as well. Davey was very stiff, Green played a great second half and McLean got a lot of the ball even if I'm not convinced he did as much with it as he could.
5 - Miller
4 - Rivers
3 - Wonaeamirri
2 - Robertson
1 - Jamar
Apologies to Bate (second half only), Carroll, Davey, Green, McLean, Warnock, Wheatley, White
Leaderboard
14 - Nathan Jones
13 - Cameron Bruce
12 - Brad Green
9 - Brock McLean
8 - James McDonald
6 - Paul Johnson
6 - Cale Morton (Co-Leader: 2008 Jeff Hilton Medal for Rookie of the Year)
6 - Austin Wonaeamirri (Co-Leader: 2008 Jeff Hilton Medal for Rookie of the Year)
6 - Jared Rivers (Leader: 2008 Marcus Seecamp Medal for Defender of the Year)
5 - Brad Miller
4 - Brent Moloney
4 - Aaron Davey
3 - Nathan Carroll
3 - Lynden Dunn
3 - Jeff White
2 - Russell Robertson
1 - Mark Jamar
Next Week
Nothing. Enjoy an extra week of being on a one match winning streak.
The Next Week
Adelaide away. Any danger of two in a row? I wouldn't hold your breath, you can be sure that Neil Craig and the other boffins at the Crows coaching institute will be doing exactly what I did and concentrating on the second half. They'll be as interested in where the Dockers went wrong as Mark Harvey will be. On paper they thump us, but after today who the fark knows what is supposed to happen anymore?
Weekend Watch
Last night - AFC Wimbledon win their promotion playoff 2-1 after being a goal down until the 83rd minute. Today Melbourne smash records to come back for a win. To quote Rex again.. "HOW GOOD IS THIS!"
Wednesday, 30 April 2008
The Nerd Zone
Getting roped into a workplace trivia quiz can be dangerous stuff. Today I was roundly booed for knowing who the boxer known as Hands Of Stone was. Thank god I didn't admit I probably only knew because one of my favourite blogs was named after his most famous statement or it would have all been ever.
Then I redeemed myself by having no of what a Star Trek answer was. Credibility saved for another few hours...
Then I redeemed myself by having no of what a Star Trek answer was. Credibility saved for another few hours...
Monday, 28 April 2008
Is thing still on..
Now, I don't like to be needlessly controversial - but hey, I figure nobody is reading any more and it'll just be random googlers who come on here to lay the smack down so here goes...
Australian soldier dies. Very tragic, boo hoo and all. There's no doubt about that, but should we really be THAT upset about it. Allow me,
The wife of slain Australian commando Lance Corporal Jason Marks, 27, said today that all the father of her two children ever wanted to be was a soldier.
"There are no words to express how we are feeling,'' Cassandra Marks stated via a defence department media release today.
"Our family is devastated at the tragic loss of Jason in Afghanistan today. [He] was a devoted father to our two beautiful children and a loving husband to me.
"All Jason ever wanted to do was to join the Army,'' she wrote.
"He was the type of of man who knew what he wanted, even from the age of 12, all Jason ever wanted to be was a soldier.
"Becoming a Commando was a dream of Jason's, he was proud of who he was and proud of what he did.
So basically he wanted to go out, wave a gun around and patrol the hot spots of the world - possibly killing people. And what happens to people who wave guns around whilst patrolling the hotspots of the world? They get shot back at, or blown up. If you're dragged into the army kicking and screaming then you're officially a tragic victim. If you sign up to go over for a smackdown and you get killed then it's no less tragic for your family, and no sadder that two kids will grow up without a father, but can you really act like it's a surprise?
It's like when somebody who works on constructing a 70 storey building plummets out the window and dies. It's tragic - yes, I know that please don't write in - but when you put yourself in a position like that it's an occupational hazard. The same as being a soldier. I'm not saying that we don't mourn this loss, but I'm not sure it's worth putting somebody up on a pedestal as a massive legend when they did the job they were paid to do.
Please address all letterbombs to PO Box 4646 in your Capital City.
Australian soldier dies. Very tragic, boo hoo and all. There's no doubt about that, but should we really be THAT upset about it. Allow me,
The wife of slain Australian commando Lance Corporal Jason Marks, 27, said today that all the father of her two children ever wanted to be was a soldier.
"There are no words to express how we are feeling,'' Cassandra Marks stated via a defence department media release today.
"Our family is devastated at the tragic loss of Jason in Afghanistan today. [He] was a devoted father to our two beautiful children and a loving husband to me.
"All Jason ever wanted to do was to join the Army,'' she wrote.
"He was the type of of man who knew what he wanted, even from the age of 12, all Jason ever wanted to be was a soldier.
"Becoming a Commando was a dream of Jason's, he was proud of who he was and proud of what he did.
So basically he wanted to go out, wave a gun around and patrol the hot spots of the world - possibly killing people. And what happens to people who wave guns around whilst patrolling the hotspots of the world? They get shot back at, or blown up. If you're dragged into the army kicking and screaming then you're officially a tragic victim. If you sign up to go over for a smackdown and you get killed then it's no less tragic for your family, and no sadder that two kids will grow up without a father, but can you really act like it's a surprise?
It's like when somebody who works on constructing a 70 storey building plummets out the window and dies. It's tragic - yes, I know that please don't write in - but when you put yourself in a position like that it's an occupational hazard. The same as being a soldier. I'm not saying that we don't mourn this loss, but I'm not sure it's worth putting somebody up on a pedestal as a massive legend when they did the job they were paid to do.
Please address all letterbombs to PO Box 4646 in your Capital City.
Thursday, 17 April 2008
So, you thought that the Moro Islamic Liberation Front (MILF) had a monopoly on unintentionally amusing names for terrorist organisations. Well, look no longer because we introduce you to...
FNAR!
NAR (also known as Front National Anti Radar, Antiradar National Front or Fraction Nationaliste Armée Révolutionnaire, Armed Nationalist Revolutionary Faction) is a group that has exploded several radar stations in France. They have demanded from the government lower taxes, less repression for the automobilists, the stop of immigration, and 4 millions euros. If they have any ideology, the group's one could be described as National-Anarchism.
Coming soon... COR! OOER! and LOL!
FNAR!
NAR (also known as Front National Anti Radar, Antiradar National Front or Fraction Nationaliste Armée Révolutionnaire, Armed Nationalist Revolutionary Faction) is a group that has exploded several radar stations in France. They have demanded from the government lower taxes, less repression for the automobilists, the stop of immigration, and 4 millions euros. If they have any ideology, the group's one could be described as National-Anarchism.
Coming soon... COR! OOER! and LOL!
Tuesday, 15 April 2008
Crazy Melbourne
The problem with extreme nutbags is that you usually can't get close enough to take a picture without either being lured into their lunacy or yelled at. For this reason I was unable to take the picture of the guy holding up a giant sign calling a judge a "murderess" outside the Magistrates Court today.
Whoever you are sir, you are a king of komedy.
Whoever you are sir, you are a king of komedy.
Thursday, 10 April 2008
You shifty bastards!
How convenient is this? China and their tainted Olympics have been hammered from all angles for the last few weeks, and suddenly their "crack security forces" take five minutes out from putting people in front of firing squads and running protesters over in tanks to miraculously foil a daring terror plot.
China has cracked two terrorist groups in its heavily Muslim west that were planning attacks aimed at the Beijing Olympics, the nation's security ministry says.
One group was plotting to kidnap foreign journalists, tourists and athletes during the Games, Chinese police said.
"The terrorists, who numbered 45 in all, had attempted to carry out sabotage to undermine the Beijing Olympic Games,'' the official Xinhua news agency quoted Public Security Ministry spokesman Wu Heping as saying today.
In one case, police in the western Xinjiang region January broke up a group "sent from abroad'' by the East Turkestan Islamic Movement to stage a violent attack, it said.
Police seized a large amount of explosives, materials used in manufacturing explosive and Islamic "Jihad'' training materials, according to Wu.
Wu said all the suspects involved had confessed.
Xinhua provided no details on the second case.
China maintains it faces an imminent terror threat from the independence-minded East Turkestan Islamic Movement, which is listed by the United Nations and the United States as a terrorist organisation.
Xinjiang officials had already said last month that police on January 27 smashed a terrorist group planning an attack on the Beijing Olympics and that a separate bid to blow up a Chinese airliner was foiled in March.
Now, far from me to suggest that these terrorists don't exist - but as if all this horseshit about cracking their network isn't a carefully orchestrated gimmick to make people go "aww, those repressive dictators are ok after all". As I said about five years ago, the Olympics are dead the moment they open in Beijing. God knows how many people killed so Nike can flog a billion pairs of shoes. Shame that the national thirst for bronze medals is too strong to see us take a stand and tell them to cram their games.
Wednesday, 9 April 2008
Blog Emo
I'm increasingly concerned that the TSP archives on BBVZ.com are lost and aren't coming back. How freaking depressing - about two months ago I had the thought that I'd better save it all in case something happened. Idiot.
As it is I have 2003-2006 saved but the rest - other than what I can find on random Google cache pages - might be lost. I know there was nothing even moderately essential contained within but I'm still depressed.
As it is I have 2003-2006 saved but the rest - other than what I can find on random Google cache pages - might be lost. I know there was nothing even moderately essential contained within but I'm still depressed.
Saturday, 5 April 2008
Motza!
At this very moment Melbourne are starting 72.5 point underdogs against Geelong tomorrow. My god I'm depressed. Has there been a lower point in our history since losing to Fitzroy by 190 in 1979? Don't ask me, I was minus two at the time.
So, if you're considering a minor flutter onthe 'mons only getting half flogged tomorrow then let this ad, almost certainly featuring the best jingle ever, be your guide.
Win a motza on the footy. Bet against Melbourne.
So, if you're considering a minor flutter onthe 'mons only getting half flogged tomorrow then let this ad, almost certainly featuring the best jingle ever, be your guide.
Win a motza on the footy. Bet against Melbourne.
Friday, 28 March 2008
Great Moments in Australian TV
Ladies and gentlemen, as proof that anything can be found on YouTube we give you the greatest supermarket chain ever, Tuckerbag.
0.00 - This is Mrs. Jackson. She makes her entrance to the wonkiest slide whistle this side of a Marx Brothers movie.
0.06 - Approaching what appears to be a completely unguarded register Mrs. Jackson has two options. She can either stay and wait for somebody to serve her or she can run like buggery and hope that security is lax. Like a complete peanut she stays and is greeted by...
A talking paper bag! Fuck the environment, this is progress!
0.19 - Before the bag, shaking like it's either got a serious case of Parkinsons or there's a puppeteer with a hand fair up it's clack, lets us in a variety of unrealistically low prices. 89c for biscuits? FTW!
0.24 - The bag poses with it's ill-gotten bounty before debuting the greatest catchphrase of all time,
Hullo Tucker!
Was "Hello Tucker" already copyrighted?
And while we all know that Tuckerbag was consigned to the tip when IGA came along, what we're asking is what happened to Mrs. Jackson.
0.00 - This is Mrs. Jackson. She makes her entrance to the wonkiest slide whistle this side of a Marx Brothers movie.
0.06 - Approaching what appears to be a completely unguarded register Mrs. Jackson has two options. She can either stay and wait for somebody to serve her or she can run like buggery and hope that security is lax. Like a complete peanut she stays and is greeted by...
A talking paper bag! Fuck the environment, this is progress!
0.19 - Before the bag, shaking like it's either got a serious case of Parkinsons or there's a puppeteer with a hand fair up it's clack, lets us in a variety of unrealistically low prices. 89c for biscuits? FTW!
0.24 - The bag poses with it's ill-gotten bounty before debuting the greatest catchphrase of all time,
Hullo Tucker!
Was "Hello Tucker" already copyrighted?
And while we all know that Tuckerbag was consigned to the tip when IGA came along, what we're asking is what happened to Mrs. Jackson.
Thursday, 27 March 2008
Back to the Future
Hi, remember me? I'm that slightly abnormal guy who has been writing complete bollocks under this blog name since October 2002. Remember 2002? I don't.
Anyway, The Supermercado Project has been hosted on BBVZ.com for the last couple of years. Now it turns out that domain has expired, and I haven't heard anything from the owner. SO, until normal service resumes - or forever if it doesn't - this blog will be hosted here. Readjust your bookmarks accordingly. Obviously http://supermercado.tv will still work (otherwise you probably wouldn't be here...) so just keep following that and no matter where we end up on this big flat, mysterious, crazy country that we call the internet you'll be with us.
For now I'm not going to bother uploading the archives, but if there's a particular post request that you have then fire away.
Good? Good.
Anyway, The Supermercado Project has been hosted on BBVZ.com for the last couple of years. Now it turns out that domain has expired, and I haven't heard anything from the owner. SO, until normal service resumes - or forever if it doesn't - this blog will be hosted here. Readjust your bookmarks accordingly. Obviously http://supermercado.tv will still work (otherwise you probably wouldn't be here...) so just keep following that and no matter where we end up on this big flat, mysterious, crazy country that we call the internet you'll be with us.
For now I'm not going to bother uploading the archives, but if there's a particular post request that you have then fire away.
Good? Good.
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