Nice to see two teams who in the not-too-distant future were merely a footnote to history taking their place in the Nationwide Conference this season.
The conference, for those non-soccer types and Premier League bandwagon scum amongst you is effectively the 5th division of English football. The actual football league itself (Division 1, 2 and 3) were always reluctant to let the Conference teams in at their own expense - and the denial of Stevenage Borough's promotion a few years back was one of the more cynical and corrupt decisions you'll ever see outside of a Manchester United match - but they've finally relented and allowed a 2 up, 2 down system from last season.
Yeovil Town and Doncaster were the two sides promoted. It's Yeovil's first time in the league, and Doncaster's return after five seasons in the wilderness. Their last season in the league was a farcical tale of dodgy business dealings and fraud. In fact the Chairman at the time paid an ex-SAS man to torch the Stadium, a cunning plan which was only rumbled when the secret service genius left a message on his phone saying "The jobs been done" after half the ground went up in flames.
The two sides unlucky enough to be relegated from the league last season were Shrewsbury (conquerors of Everton in the FA Cup) and Exeter City (who boasted magician tosser Uri Geller as Chairman and Michael f'ing Jackson as an honorary board member).
The real story in the Conference this season, though, is the return to the semi big-time of Aldershot Town and the oddly named Accrington Stanley.
The original Stanley played in the old Football League from it's foundation in 1888 until they collapsed under a mountain of debt in 1962 and were kicked out of the league. The new club was formed in 1968 and as their name was being used as the punchline in a milk ad (the premise was that they died because they didn't drink enough milk - christ I hate advertising execs) they were fighting through the lower realms of the game. Last year's winners of the Unibond Premier League (the northern feeder competition to the conference) they're just one promotion away from an historic return to the league who booted them out more than forty years ago.
Aldershot, on the other hand, left the league a much shorter time ago. Ironically enough, considering they both find themselves in the same league now, during 1992 they became the first side since Accrington to leave the league in the middle of a season. Crushed with debt they were taken over by a supposed "white knight" investor who actually turned out to be a teenage kid with a gift for speaking bullshit and too much time on his hands. They folded soon afterwards.
Starting the new club in the very same season, five divisions below where they had previously been, they rapidly rose through the divisions and were a fixture in the Ryman Premier League (the Southern conference feeder) for five seasons before finally capturing the championship last year.
They're both inspirations to sides like AFC Wimbledon who are attempting to do the same thing, albeit in a much shorter time. Along with AFC (season starts tonight!) I'll certainly be looking out for their results for the rest of the year.
Sunday, 17 August 2003
Saturday, 16 August 2003
AFL player = Klepto?
Now, Carey shagging Anthony Stevens' wife is one thing - but this is just taking it too far.
Not sure of where this comes from, as I got it off the Bigfooty.com forums but it was in the Herald-Sun today as well.
Carlton again has pledged to stand by troubled ruckman Laurence Angwin after the 20-year-old was charged last week over the burglary of teammate Karl Norman's house.
In the latest in a series of run-ins with police, Angwin is alleged to have broken in to the Brunswick home of Norman through the roof. He is alleged to have stolen electrical goods and DVDs.
Carlton spokesman Ian Coutts yesterday said the club was aware of the new charges and would continue to work with Angwin, a 200-centimetre ruckman once tagged the new Shaun Rehn.
"We know there are some issues. We are aware of that and we are dealing with them with Laurie," Coutts said. "We will continue that work . . . in the hope that we can benefit both (him) and the Carlton footy club."
Angwin, the No. 7 pick in the 2000 draft, was delisted by Adelaide in 2001. He was picked up by the Blues this season after playing with the Box Hill Hawks in 2002.
Last month, he appeared in Frankston Magistrates Court on charges that he burgled a Chelsea house in May last year and stole goods worth $540. He is also facing charges over the theft of $113 worth of goods from an AFL sports store in July last year. He will reappear in court next month.
Last September, Angwin was convicted and fined $625 by the Adelaide Magistrates Court after he was caught driving with a blood alcohol reading of 0.107 per cent.
Angwin made his AFL debut against Melbourne in round 14 and has played three games and kicked four goals. He was a late withdrawal because of a groin injury from the team that lost to Port Adelaide last Sunday, but has been named in a back pocket in the Northern Bullants' VFL team to meet Springvale tomorrow.
What a wonderful teammate this idiot must be! Wonder if anything has mysteriously gone missing from Optus Oval in the last few months?
Not sure of where this comes from, as I got it off the Bigfooty.com forums but it was in the Herald-Sun today as well.
Carlton again has pledged to stand by troubled ruckman Laurence Angwin after the 20-year-old was charged last week over the burglary of teammate Karl Norman's house.
In the latest in a series of run-ins with police, Angwin is alleged to have broken in to the Brunswick home of Norman through the roof. He is alleged to have stolen electrical goods and DVDs.
Carlton spokesman Ian Coutts yesterday said the club was aware of the new charges and would continue to work with Angwin, a 200-centimetre ruckman once tagged the new Shaun Rehn.
"We know there are some issues. We are aware of that and we are dealing with them with Laurie," Coutts said. "We will continue that work . . . in the hope that we can benefit both (him) and the Carlton footy club."
Angwin, the No. 7 pick in the 2000 draft, was delisted by Adelaide in 2001. He was picked up by the Blues this season after playing with the Box Hill Hawks in 2002.
Last month, he appeared in Frankston Magistrates Court on charges that he burgled a Chelsea house in May last year and stole goods worth $540. He is also facing charges over the theft of $113 worth of goods from an AFL sports store in July last year. He will reappear in court next month.
Last September, Angwin was convicted and fined $625 by the Adelaide Magistrates Court after he was caught driving with a blood alcohol reading of 0.107 per cent.
Angwin made his AFL debut against Melbourne in round 14 and has played three games and kicked four goals. He was a late withdrawal because of a groin injury from the team that lost to Port Adelaide last Sunday, but has been named in a back pocket in the Northern Bullants' VFL team to meet Springvale tomorrow.
What a wonderful teammate this idiot must be! Wonder if anything has mysteriously gone missing from Optus Oval in the last few months?
Friday, 15 August 2003
Shake shake shake - shake your lefty
Remember my old friend Peter Woodforde of Melba, ACT? Hero of the Green Left Weekly letters page?
Well he's started on the Herald-Sun page as well. Today's effort was something to do with John Howard and masturbation. Suffice to say that the moment I saw those two things in the same paragraph my brain went into "avoid" mode and I forget everything I'd read. Shame really, because if it was calling Howard out on his wankfest "don't marry if you can't breed" philosophy it probably made sense too.
Meanwhile he failed to contribute anything to the Green Left letters page this week.. Hmmm suspicious!
Well he's started on the Herald-Sun page as well. Today's effort was something to do with John Howard and masturbation. Suffice to say that the moment I saw those two things in the same paragraph my brain went into "avoid" mode and I forget everything I'd read. Shame really, because if it was calling Howard out on his wankfest "don't marry if you can't breed" philosophy it probably made sense too.
Meanwhile he failed to contribute anything to the Green Left letters page this week.. Hmmm suspicious!
Disturbing political results
This page tells you what US Presidential candidate you should vote for judging on your political opinions. I'm a bit worried about my closest match,
1. Sharpton, Reverend Al - Democrat (100%)
Luckily my real choice is second,
2. Dean, Gov. Howard, VT - Democrat (96%)
Then it gets frightening again,
3. Green Party Candidate (95%)
Dubya comes in at a pissweak 27th of 33. I wouldn't vote for that nutbag if you paid me.
1. Sharpton, Reverend Al - Democrat (100%)
Luckily my real choice is second,
2. Dean, Gov. Howard, VT - Democrat (96%)
Then it gets frightening again,
3. Green Party Candidate (95%)
Dubya comes in at a pissweak 27th of 33. I wouldn't vote for that nutbag if you paid me.
I wish they all could be Californian elections
Politics1.com has a full list, with links to official websites, of the final 135 candidates for the Californian Recall election here.
It also tells you what each of them does for a job when they're not trying to scab their way into the Governor's Mansion through the backdoor.
Here are some of my favourites
Iris Adam (Natural Law) - Business Analyst & Frequent Candidate
Angelyne (Independent) - Entertainer & Billboard Self-Promoter
Joel Britton (Independent) - Communist Political Organizer, Retiree & '02 Illinois Governor Candidate
Art Brown (D) - Filmmaker
William Chambers (R) - Railroad Worker
Mary "Mary Carey" Cook (Independent) - Adult Movie Actress (She's got my vote! - Adam)
Larry Flynt (D) - Pornography Magazine Publisher & Casino Owner
Leo Gallagher (Independent) - Comedian
Jack Grisham (Independent) - Punk Rock Band Lead Singer & Laborer
Ivan Hall (Green) - Dental Lab Owner, Ex-School Bus Driver & Navy Veteran
Paul "Chip" Mailander (D) - Golf Pro
Mike McCarthy (Independent) - Used Car Dealer
Paul Nave (D) - Businessman, Ex-World Welterweight Boxing Champion & '00 State Assembly Candidate
Bill Prady (D) - TV Sitcom Producer & Writer
Kurt "Tachikaze" Rightmyer (Independent) - Middleweight Sumo Wrestler
Darrin Scheidle (D) - Electronic Fingerprinting Firm Owner
Peter Ueberroth (R) - 1984 US Olympics President & Ex-Major League Baseball Commissioner
I'll say this thousands more times before October 5th, but...
Best
Election
Ever.
Newspaper angst
Somebody once said to me that the Herald-Sun was the newspaper you only read outside of footy season. I think he was right. If you could read The Age without the aid of a dining table and they had a decent sports section I'm sure they wouldn't be lagging sadly behind the tabloid nutbags in the circulation stakes.
The last few weeks have proven everything that's wrong with The Hun; as it's affectionately known. It started a few weeks ago with a front cover story about a horse called "Oky Pinoky" (a name that I find strangely comical I must admit) who bit some kiddy at the children's playground he was living at. It was a human interest story (on the front page - hello big-time journalism!) with plenty of heart-warming shots of the beast eating food rather than a child for once.
That was lovely. A one-off comedy story to take our minds off the death and destruction in the world today. Except last week there was another article. Ol' Oky had been shipped off to some other place with kiddies and had taken a bite out of one of them too. Now I open today's paper and not only is there half a letters page of people writing in about the bloody thing but there's also a poll on whether or not it should be put down (you'd have to be a pretty heartless prick to vote yes, but it's not really the case) and, AND a f'ing article about how the bloody horse is now managed - yes managed - by Harry M Miller.
So, anybody who rings in and votes to shoot the thing will have to get through notorious media whore Harry first.
Sad.
The last few weeks have proven everything that's wrong with The Hun; as it's affectionately known. It started a few weeks ago with a front cover story about a horse called "Oky Pinoky" (a name that I find strangely comical I must admit) who bit some kiddy at the children's playground he was living at. It was a human interest story (on the front page - hello big-time journalism!) with plenty of heart-warming shots of the beast eating food rather than a child for once.
That was lovely. A one-off comedy story to take our minds off the death and destruction in the world today. Except last week there was another article. Ol' Oky had been shipped off to some other place with kiddies and had taken a bite out of one of them too. Now I open today's paper and not only is there half a letters page of people writing in about the bloody thing but there's also a poll on whether or not it should be put down (you'd have to be a pretty heartless prick to vote yes, but it's not really the case) and, AND a f'ing article about how the bloody horse is now managed - yes managed - by Harry M Miller.
So, anybody who rings in and votes to shoot the thing will have to get through notorious media whore Harry first.
Sad.
Wednesday, 13 August 2003
Adam = sex beast of the east?
Camberwell's reputation as lookalike HQ of the planet earth has taken a decided turn for the sinister. How I laughed at our female versions of Ian Knop, Dame Edna and Mark Latham - then it turns out the number one sex pervert of the eastern suburbs is doing a sterling imitation of - erm - me. It was in yesterday's Herald Sun Crimestoppers page.
Of course now is the time when my scanner refuses to work, so I'm admitting it sort of looks like me yet I can't post the picture to prove it doesn't really. Conspiracy is probably obvious, but when I make my scanner work again I'll be sure to put it up.
If you know me and/or look closely you can tell the differences are obvious - but I still have visions of old ladies smacking me out with their handbags as I walk down Burke Road.
Of course Camberwell is the nerdlinger capital of Victoria, and every second person walking around looks like that (too many internet cafes and network game places you see - and no I've never been to one, I like to confine my nerdy activities to the home) but it's not the point. Were this hornbag not significantly shorter than me with curly hair and had I not been in the midst of my every-week-without fail Wednesday trivia-night rampage at the time (and, you know, the fact that I'm not into flashing my knob at people in public) I'd be worried about the SWAT team booting my door down in the middle of the night and performing a Camp X-Ray style abduction. Besides, I wouldn't offer anyone money to get naked - they should be honoured enough to do it for free.
Suffice to say, if posting suddenly stops here with no explanation habeas corpus has been suspended and I'm being flogged repeatedly with the Yellow Pages L-Z in the basement of the local Police Station.
Of course now is the time when my scanner refuses to work, so I'm admitting it sort of looks like me yet I can't post the picture to prove it doesn't really. Conspiracy is probably obvious, but when I make my scanner work again I'll be sure to put it up.
If you know me and/or look closely you can tell the differences are obvious - but I still have visions of old ladies smacking me out with their handbags as I walk down Burke Road.
Of course Camberwell is the nerdlinger capital of Victoria, and every second person walking around looks like that (too many internet cafes and network game places you see - and no I've never been to one, I like to confine my nerdy activities to the home) but it's not the point. Were this hornbag not significantly shorter than me with curly hair and had I not been in the midst of my every-week-without fail Wednesday trivia-night rampage at the time (and, you know, the fact that I'm not into flashing my knob at people in public) I'd be worried about the SWAT team booting my door down in the middle of the night and performing a Camp X-Ray style abduction. Besides, I wouldn't offer anyone money to get naked - they should be honoured enough to do it for free.
Suffice to say, if posting suddenly stops here with no explanation habeas corpus has been suspended and I'm being flogged repeatedly with the Yellow Pages L-Z in the basement of the local Police Station.
Tuesday, 12 August 2003
Great One-Hit Wonders
#4 - Tommy Tutone - 867-5309/Jenny (1981)
What an odd song this was. A tribute to those phone numbers you always see on bathroom walls purporting to be the personal line to a woman who'll shag you no matter how much of an idiot you appear to be. Of course these numbers are probably written by jilted lovers who take great delight in flooding their estranged partner with thousands of calls from horny men. Or so I've heard anyway. Of course in this song he's far too sensible to actually call the number and does something questionable with it instead ("I tried my imagination, but I was disturbed").
The band formed in 1978 and their first single "Angel Say No" scraped into the Top 40. The two follow-ups off their self-titled first album failed to crack the charts but the album sales were good enough to earn a support spot on the Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers tour. In 1981 this song, from the Album "Tommy Tutone 2" (imaginative!) became their biggest hit ever - reaching the Billboard Top 5 and propelling the album into the top 20.
The next single failed miserably, as did their album "National Emotion" which barely charted and led band leaders Tommy Heath and Jim Keller to disband the group. The name was back, however, in 1992 as an entirely Heath-driven project. The last album was 1998's "Tutone.rtf". Incidentally this contained the song "Jenny's Calling", as sequel of sorts to the big hit, about Jenny's daughter. Very mysterious.
In the interests of research I attached the standard Melbourne prefix of '9' to the start of this number and called it. It actually comes up (on my phone at least) as "Number not in use". There's a conspiracy in that if you look hard enough.
Where Are They Now? The frankly irritating Tutone official site has no news on a new album - but a tour dates section lets us know that as late as the 2nd of this month they played a show in Pensacola, Florida (at the Quiet Water Boardwalk Bushwhacker Festival no less) alongside fellow one-hit superstars "The Knack" - who we may get to eventually. Tutone lives! Even if the infamous phone number doesn't. Try it in your own area code - but don't mention me if you get done for nuisance calling.
What an odd song this was. A tribute to those phone numbers you always see on bathroom walls purporting to be the personal line to a woman who'll shag you no matter how much of an idiot you appear to be. Of course these numbers are probably written by jilted lovers who take great delight in flooding their estranged partner with thousands of calls from horny men. Or so I've heard anyway. Of course in this song he's far too sensible to actually call the number and does something questionable with it instead ("I tried my imagination, but I was disturbed").
The band formed in 1978 and their first single "Angel Say No" scraped into the Top 40. The two follow-ups off their self-titled first album failed to crack the charts but the album sales were good enough to earn a support spot on the Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers tour. In 1981 this song, from the Album "Tommy Tutone 2" (imaginative!) became their biggest hit ever - reaching the Billboard Top 5 and propelling the album into the top 20.
The next single failed miserably, as did their album "National Emotion" which barely charted and led band leaders Tommy Heath and Jim Keller to disband the group. The name was back, however, in 1992 as an entirely Heath-driven project. The last album was 1998's "Tutone.rtf". Incidentally this contained the song "Jenny's Calling", as sequel of sorts to the big hit, about Jenny's daughter. Very mysterious.
In the interests of research I attached the standard Melbourne prefix of '9' to the start of this number and called it. It actually comes up (on my phone at least) as "Number not in use". There's a conspiracy in that if you look hard enough.
Where Are They Now? The frankly irritating Tutone official site has no news on a new album - but a tour dates section lets us know that as late as the 2nd of this month they played a show in Pensacola, Florida (at the Quiet Water Boardwalk Bushwhacker Festival no less) alongside fellow one-hit superstars "The Knack" - who we may get to eventually. Tutone lives! Even if the infamous phone number doesn't. Try it in your own area code - but don't mention me if you get done for nuisance calling.
Community bloggage
Your topic for today is to discuss your most hated TV weatherman/woman, and why they rile you up so much. I care not that I'll have no idea who anyone from interstate who says anybody but Tim Bailey is talking about - irritating meteorologists are pretty much the same around the country. Post your submissions on your blog or in the comments.
Mine is Mike Larkham, who does his schtick on Channel 10 Melbourne's 5pm news. He should not, for legal reasons, be confused with Mark Larkham who's some kind of crappy racing car driver. Now, he does shonky live crosses from the most boring places imaginable (the beach? In summer? REVOLUTIONARY!) and tells gags that are so bad I presume they come straight out the "Skithouse" office in a box marked "even these are too unfunny for us".
I saw him in person once, delivering a live cross from the Melbourne Chocolate Expo (attention: no wonder I'm a fat bastard) and considered momentarily doing a run-through or yelling something out. I'd seen the time he tried to do a cross from outside the Casino and some kids jumped up in front of the camera and he had to restrain himself from smacking one of them in the head and dreamed of making a scene big enough to make it onto every "Aussie TV bloopers" show for the next 50 years. Then I realised that he was talking up the weather at 5:30, a good twenty minutes before it would go to air. They must do it on delay or something and his near backhander of a small child hadn't been enough to make them do a reshoot. The dream died.
Thank god for the return of "The Price is Right", because it gives me something other than this tosser to watch between Sport and the Simpsons.
Mine is Mike Larkham, who does his schtick on Channel 10 Melbourne's 5pm news. He should not, for legal reasons, be confused with Mark Larkham who's some kind of crappy racing car driver. Now, he does shonky live crosses from the most boring places imaginable (the beach? In summer? REVOLUTIONARY!) and tells gags that are so bad I presume they come straight out the "Skithouse" office in a box marked "even these are too unfunny for us".
I saw him in person once, delivering a live cross from the Melbourne Chocolate Expo (attention: no wonder I'm a fat bastard) and considered momentarily doing a run-through or yelling something out. I'd seen the time he tried to do a cross from outside the Casino and some kids jumped up in front of the camera and he had to restrain himself from smacking one of them in the head and dreamed of making a scene big enough to make it onto every "Aussie TV bloopers" show for the next 50 years. Then I realised that he was talking up the weather at 5:30, a good twenty minutes before it would go to air. They must do it on delay or something and his near backhander of a small child hadn't been enough to make them do a reshoot. The dream died.
Thank god for the return of "The Price is Right", because it gives me something other than this tosser to watch between Sport and the Simpsons.
Monday, 11 August 2003
Cheapest possible posting option alert
Because we've not done this for a while, and because I've nothing else to say it's time to go for a trip around the Wide World of Blog to see what's going on elsewhere.
85 George Street
But what do hallucinogenic mushrooms make you? What is the adjective to descibe it? We agree we are totally “belted”.
After Grog Blog
No amount of parental justification, quoth Daddy Porn-Bucks - "I'm very proud of her", will convince me that Morgan is being pedalled as anything other than a pre-teen wet-dream to sick fuckin' pervs.
Angela Bell
It seems the French have been upsetting some people for a long time.
Bailz
conspiracy, I think so
Bitchin' Monaro
Because you asked for it, more Sunny Leone (Adam sez: WHOOO!)
Bullet Holed Messenger
I decided to go anyway, which resulted in me ending up a room with about 50 extremely horny young women cracking gay jokes at the rate of about one per minute
Fare Evader
Of course, I wasn't featured much in the story, as I was the ditzy-sounding girl from Macrobertson whom they interviewed.
Funny Face
There was a moron family in there. There was a mum and a dad and a grandma and a little boy. The mum was the sick one. I don't understand why it had to be family outing to the medical center though.
Gareth Parker
WITH THE first Bali bomber's verdict handed down, it feels an appropriate time to revisit the story of one of the victims.
Good News Fresh
my brain is like a sponge, it takes in a lot of info
but to get anything out of it i need to squeeze so hard it hurts
Hot Buttered Death
A note to my vast (?) loyal (?) readership
Michael Jennings
I still haven't finished the post on coffee, so another short post on small ephemeral details of my life so I can say I posted something.
Mortigi Tempo
The yobbo's days are numbered
Rob Corr
It pulled the same stunt with the Yarra, which was flagged to the Bahamas and renamed the Stadacona, and the result was poor safety standards:
Sedgwick
Let's hope Warnie's brother is as good at spin as "lets your fingers do the talking" Shane.
Spin Starts Here
Most of them do it because they are absolute attention seeking MEDIA WHORES, not unlike your good self Ray.
Stews Blog
God hates nearly everyone
The Eye of the Beholder
UPDATE- It seems that Empress Rice has sorted out North Korea, but ex-President Bush is rallying support for his restoration.
Yobbo
I may still be blogging in the next few days, but it's a lot harder to think of stuff when you feel this shitty.
Zem
Mike Hawash has pleaded guilty to associating with terrorists. He was detained without charge as a material witness earlier this year, following his donation to a charity group that allegedly distributed funds to terrorist groups.
And finally,
the Random blog I clicked into off the Blogger homepage
what i'm doin here just fuckin nothin
everythin just fuckin in vain
FUCK YOU RICKO !!!!!
I'M FUCKIN HATE YOU !!!
what that you ever said just fuckin bullshit !!!!
why you go with that fuckin BITCH !!!!
FUCK YOU RICKO !!!!!
There's definately some issues there...
85 George Street
But what do hallucinogenic mushrooms make you? What is the adjective to descibe it? We agree we are totally “belted”.
After Grog Blog
No amount of parental justification, quoth Daddy Porn-Bucks - "I'm very proud of her", will convince me that Morgan is being pedalled as anything other than a pre-teen wet-dream to sick fuckin' pervs.
Angela Bell
It seems the French have been upsetting some people for a long time.
Bailz
conspiracy, I think so
Bitchin' Monaro
Because you asked for it, more Sunny Leone (Adam sez: WHOOO!)
Bullet Holed Messenger
I decided to go anyway, which resulted in me ending up a room with about 50 extremely horny young women cracking gay jokes at the rate of about one per minute
Fare Evader
Of course, I wasn't featured much in the story, as I was the ditzy-sounding girl from Macrobertson whom they interviewed.
Funny Face
There was a moron family in there. There was a mum and a dad and a grandma and a little boy. The mum was the sick one. I don't understand why it had to be family outing to the medical center though.
Gareth Parker
WITH THE first Bali bomber's verdict handed down, it feels an appropriate time to revisit the story of one of the victims.
Good News Fresh
my brain is like a sponge, it takes in a lot of info
but to get anything out of it i need to squeeze so hard it hurts
Hot Buttered Death
A note to my vast (?) loyal (?) readership
Michael Jennings
I still haven't finished the post on coffee, so another short post on small ephemeral details of my life so I can say I posted something.
Mortigi Tempo
The yobbo's days are numbered
Rob Corr
It pulled the same stunt with the Yarra, which was flagged to the Bahamas and renamed the Stadacona, and the result was poor safety standards:
Sedgwick
Let's hope Warnie's brother is as good at spin as "lets your fingers do the talking" Shane.
Spin Starts Here
Most of them do it because they are absolute attention seeking MEDIA WHORES, not unlike your good self Ray.
Stews Blog
God hates nearly everyone
The Eye of the Beholder
UPDATE- It seems that Empress Rice has sorted out North Korea, but ex-President Bush is rallying support for his restoration.
Yobbo
I may still be blogging in the next few days, but it's a lot harder to think of stuff when you feel this shitty.
Zem
Mike Hawash has pleaded guilty to associating with terrorists. He was detained without charge as a material witness earlier this year, following his donation to a charity group that allegedly distributed funds to terrorist groups.
And finally,
the Random blog I clicked into off the Blogger homepage
what i'm doin here just fuckin nothin
everythin just fuckin in vain
FUCK YOU RICKO !!!!!
I'M FUCKIN HATE YOU !!!
what that you ever said just fuckin bullshit !!!!
why you go with that fuckin BITCH !!!!
FUCK YOU RICKO !!!!!
There's definately some issues there...
Saturday, 9 August 2003
Punishment fits crime?
And what's all this I hear about Vanessa Amorosi recieving the death sentence? Sure, her career irritated us all and that bloody Shine song contained some of the most illogical lyrics in history but surely this is taking it a step too far.
Friday, 1 August 2003
Allen Jakovich Day 2003
A Western Australian who came to the club in 1991 from South Fremantle, via the SANFL's Woodville where he booted 101 goals in 1990, Jakovich was a member of the 1985 Western Australian Under-18's team that produced big names of the game like John Worsfold, Chris Lewis, Guy McKenna, Scott Watters, Chris Waterman, Paul Peos and Peter Sumich.
Selected at number 6 in the National Draft after his massive season in the SANFL, he failed to impress in pre-season games and was a part of the embarrassing 2.8.20 score against the Eagles in the first game of 1991. While he toiled in the reserves a young Darren Cuthbertson was running riot in the seniors, kicking seven goals against North Melbourne and Collingwood in consecutive weeks then five against the Bears. As Cuthbertson's star waned almost quickly as it had arrived Jakovich took over in amazing fashion.
His first career goal didn't come until Round 10 when he slotted one in a six goal loss to the Crows in Adelaide. The first big haul, and a sign of things to come, came when he slammed home eight in a big win against the Swans in Sydney. This was followed by six against West Coast, after which he had an ugly argument with John Worsfold (who wasn't even playing that day) in the player's race. Eight against St. Kilda and seven against Carlton followed quickly as his juggernaut rolled on.
Then, as the world began to wonder where this amazing talent had been hidden all season came highpoint of his career. On a typically cold August day at the MCG, in front of the rubble that eventually became the Great Southern Stand, he went ballistic and kicked an amazing 11.8 (and a couple out on the full) against North Melbourne. He had ten to three-quarter-time, including a bicycle kick that I still maintain is the greatest goal in AFL/VFL history and only inaccurate kicking stopped him from threatening Fred Fanning's record for goals in a game. Of course the focus passed back to somebody from a 'big' club when Peter Daicos kicked 13 against the Bears at Carrara hours later, including a miracle goal that could be considered the second best ever if you're feeling generous, but Jakovich had truly arrived.
The side eventually fell into fifth place thanks to a spate of injuries and faced Essendon in an Elimination Final at Waverley. After doing nothing in the first half Jako exploded, as would became his trademark, with seven in the second inspiring victory. A further four the next week against the Eagles couldn't inspire the boys to victory, and his first season in the big time had come to an end.
He booted a staggering 60 goals in the reserves and a further 71 in the seniors. It was a season the likes of which will never been again - and it was an exciting time to be a Melbourne fan. He also ran third in the best-and-fairest (behind Brownlow winner Stynes and Todd Viney) and represented Western Australia in the State-of-Origin. His final free-kick tally for the season of 5 for and 24 against was an example of the often undisciplined but always intense approach he took to every game.
Despite the side plumetting to seven wins and a draw Jakovich still starred (relatively speaking) in 1992. He was already starting to show some of the fitness problems that would eventually sink his career but despite this he managed to kick seven against Geelong in the first game of the year. He appeared to be playing a lone hand up front though as five against the Crows and four in the Queens Birthday game against Collingwood couldn't help the side avoid thrashings. He wasn't seen again, due to injury, until he bobbed up to boot four in a shock 49 point win against Adelaide in the return fixture at Football Park. Another second half explosion, this time against Collingwood in the last clash between the traditional rivals at Victoria Park, landed seven goals and a nine-point win but he was nothing more than a bit-part player for the rest of the season, one that started with promise but ultimately delivered a disappointing 13th place finish.
John Northey was replaced by Neil Balme before the 1993 season began but Jakovich's troubled hamstring let go during the first quarter of the opening game against Hawthorn and his season was immediately derailed. On return to the squad in Round 9 he famously kicked six goals and planted a kiss on his brother during a spiteful clash against the Eagles at the MCG.
Against one of his favourite opponents Collingwood he racked up nine huge goals, and followed that with eight against the Bombers in a 34 point victory. He then went missing again until one of the greatest games in history (sez me anyway) when he and Andy Lovell teamed up to kick eight goals apiece in a 121 point slaughter of Richmond. Incidentally I was shat on by a bird in the bottom deck of the sadly departed Ponsford Stand that day, starting a trend which continues to this day. However, despite this highlight (the game, not the bird) it was another season with no September action. 10th place was an improvement on the year before, but still a disappointment.
His final year at Melbourne started promisingly, 23 goals in the first five rounds (including eight against the Cats in the first round and a staggeringly inaccurate 4 goals 10 behinds in a win against Hawthorn at Waverley) saw him atop the league goalkicking. Hauls of five against Fitzroy and Sydney were the peak of his achievements until Round 17 when, in his last game he slammed home 8.1 in another win over the Hawks at Princes Park. This was to be his last game for the club, as a bulging disc in his back forced him out of action indefinately. He made sure it was a memorable one, not only landing a haul of goals but being fined $2000 for abusing an umpire as well. In his abscence Gary Lyon and a young pair of David's (Schwarz and Neitz) took over up front and led the team all the way to a Preliminary Final.
Jakovich was delisted at the end of the season when it looked as if his chronic back injuries would force him out of the game for good. His 47 games for the club produced 201 goals (4.27 per game), leaving him ranked still as the 20th greatest goalkicker in club history.
Footscray shocked the footballing world by drafting the clearly unfit, and now almost entirely unmotivated forward before the 1996 season but his seven games for the Bulldogs yielded just 7.14 and he was delisted, playing a final game against Carlton in Round 21 - finishing with a goal from his only kick.
In the years after his 'retirement' rumors about his business dealings were the talk of the town all over Melbourne. He was presumed to be either in hiding from debtors or even dead - a rumor that was only quashed once and for all when he made a shock appearance opening the Footy Show one night, back when it was good. For the record I was so shocked at the reappearance of the footballing equivalent of Jesus Christ I literally jumped over the back of my couch.
In the years since he burst onto the scene a hundred different footballers have been labelled "the new Jakovich" (by me), but none of them have ever reached the same heights. Everybody from Adrian McAdam to Brendan Fevola via Jeff Farmer and about 3000 different 'flash in the pan' players has worn the tag without success. Nobody can ever be in the same elite company.
What is he doing now? I've got no idea. This blog has readers in at least four different states so somebody must have heard something. Either let me know in the comments or e-mail me if it's more explosive, conspiracy theory related news.
Selected at number 6 in the National Draft after his massive season in the SANFL, he failed to impress in pre-season games and was a part of the embarrassing 2.8.20 score against the Eagles in the first game of 1991. While he toiled in the reserves a young Darren Cuthbertson was running riot in the seniors, kicking seven goals against North Melbourne and Collingwood in consecutive weeks then five against the Bears. As Cuthbertson's star waned almost quickly as it had arrived Jakovich took over in amazing fashion.
His first career goal didn't come until Round 10 when he slotted one in a six goal loss to the Crows in Adelaide. The first big haul, and a sign of things to come, came when he slammed home eight in a big win against the Swans in Sydney. This was followed by six against West Coast, after which he had an ugly argument with John Worsfold (who wasn't even playing that day) in the player's race. Eight against St. Kilda and seven against Carlton followed quickly as his juggernaut rolled on.
Then, as the world began to wonder where this amazing talent had been hidden all season came highpoint of his career. On a typically cold August day at the MCG, in front of the rubble that eventually became the Great Southern Stand, he went ballistic and kicked an amazing 11.8 (and a couple out on the full) against North Melbourne. He had ten to three-quarter-time, including a bicycle kick that I still maintain is the greatest goal in AFL/VFL history and only inaccurate kicking stopped him from threatening Fred Fanning's record for goals in a game. Of course the focus passed back to somebody from a 'big' club when Peter Daicos kicked 13 against the Bears at Carrara hours later, including a miracle goal that could be considered the second best ever if you're feeling generous, but Jakovich had truly arrived.
The side eventually fell into fifth place thanks to a spate of injuries and faced Essendon in an Elimination Final at Waverley. After doing nothing in the first half Jako exploded, as would became his trademark, with seven in the second inspiring victory. A further four the next week against the Eagles couldn't inspire the boys to victory, and his first season in the big time had come to an end.
He booted a staggering 60 goals in the reserves and a further 71 in the seniors. It was a season the likes of which will never been again - and it was an exciting time to be a Melbourne fan. He also ran third in the best-and-fairest (behind Brownlow winner Stynes and Todd Viney) and represented Western Australia in the State-of-Origin. His final free-kick tally for the season of 5 for and 24 against was an example of the often undisciplined but always intense approach he took to every game.
Despite the side plumetting to seven wins and a draw Jakovich still starred (relatively speaking) in 1992. He was already starting to show some of the fitness problems that would eventually sink his career but despite this he managed to kick seven against Geelong in the first game of the year. He appeared to be playing a lone hand up front though as five against the Crows and four in the Queens Birthday game against Collingwood couldn't help the side avoid thrashings. He wasn't seen again, due to injury, until he bobbed up to boot four in a shock 49 point win against Adelaide in the return fixture at Football Park. Another second half explosion, this time against Collingwood in the last clash between the traditional rivals at Victoria Park, landed seven goals and a nine-point win but he was nothing more than a bit-part player for the rest of the season, one that started with promise but ultimately delivered a disappointing 13th place finish.
John Northey was replaced by Neil Balme before the 1993 season began but Jakovich's troubled hamstring let go during the first quarter of the opening game against Hawthorn and his season was immediately derailed. On return to the squad in Round 9 he famously kicked six goals and planted a kiss on his brother during a spiteful clash against the Eagles at the MCG.
Against one of his favourite opponents Collingwood he racked up nine huge goals, and followed that with eight against the Bombers in a 34 point victory. He then went missing again until one of the greatest games in history (sez me anyway) when he and Andy Lovell teamed up to kick eight goals apiece in a 121 point slaughter of Richmond. Incidentally I was shat on by a bird in the bottom deck of the sadly departed Ponsford Stand that day, starting a trend which continues to this day. However, despite this highlight (the game, not the bird) it was another season with no September action. 10th place was an improvement on the year before, but still a disappointment.
His final year at Melbourne started promisingly, 23 goals in the first five rounds (including eight against the Cats in the first round and a staggeringly inaccurate 4 goals 10 behinds in a win against Hawthorn at Waverley) saw him atop the league goalkicking. Hauls of five against Fitzroy and Sydney were the peak of his achievements until Round 17 when, in his last game he slammed home 8.1 in another win over the Hawks at Princes Park. This was to be his last game for the club, as a bulging disc in his back forced him out of action indefinately. He made sure it was a memorable one, not only landing a haul of goals but being fined $2000 for abusing an umpire as well. In his abscence Gary Lyon and a young pair of David's (Schwarz and Neitz) took over up front and led the team all the way to a Preliminary Final.
Jakovich was delisted at the end of the season when it looked as if his chronic back injuries would force him out of the game for good. His 47 games for the club produced 201 goals (4.27 per game), leaving him ranked still as the 20th greatest goalkicker in club history.
Footscray shocked the footballing world by drafting the clearly unfit, and now almost entirely unmotivated forward before the 1996 season but his seven games for the Bulldogs yielded just 7.14 and he was delisted, playing a final game against Carlton in Round 21 - finishing with a goal from his only kick.
In the years after his 'retirement' rumors about his business dealings were the talk of the town all over Melbourne. He was presumed to be either in hiding from debtors or even dead - a rumor that was only quashed once and for all when he made a shock appearance opening the Footy Show one night, back when it was good. For the record I was so shocked at the reappearance of the footballing equivalent of Jesus Christ I literally jumped over the back of my couch.
In the years since he burst onto the scene a hundred different footballers have been labelled "the new Jakovich" (by me), but none of them have ever reached the same heights. Everybody from Adrian McAdam to Brendan Fevola via Jeff Farmer and about 3000 different 'flash in the pan' players has worn the tag without success. Nobody can ever be in the same elite company.
What is he doing now? I've got no idea. This blog has readers in at least four different states so somebody must have heard something. Either let me know in the comments or e-mail me if it's more explosive, conspiracy theory related news.
Oh the humanity!
Melbourne who? I'm sure I watched some bunch of softcocks in red and blue jumpers running around Telstra Dome tonight, but it couldn't have been them could it? COULD IT? Oh crap, it was.
Anyway, let's discuss something far better - and that's what a complete debacle the organisational side of that stadium still is. The story goes a little something like this,
A workmate was supposed to score two free tickets to the Level 2 "posh people be here" section of the ground but when he got them one had inexplicably been allocated for the West Coast/St. Kilda game on Sunday. Despite that game being a far more attractive proposition from a footballing standpoint we weren't interested and wanted our "plebs be gone" seats nonetheless. Sadly our first attempted scam, trying to get through the computer-operated turnstiles with the dud ticket, failed - though it took the barrier jockey a good three minutes of staring at the ticket to realise it was for the wrong game. I bought the cheapest ticket possible and we moved inside the ground to do the numbers on our scam and come up with a new plan.
The second idea was for him to go in and throw the ticket down to me from the next level so I could go in as well, this naturally failed when we realised that I'd have to have some sort of hardcore ticket to get to the place where this could take place anyway.
One last option left - to just wave the tickets at the monkey on the door of the hardcore area and hope he doesn't bother to check which game the bottom one is for. It shouldn't have worked, of all the ideas we'd had it seemed to be the most far fetched, but acting on a tip-off from another colleague who claimed that if you "confuse them enough they'll let you through without checking what you're waving at them" we engaged Stadium Man in a lively debate about where exactly Aisle 37 was and waltzed in with the two tickets held together, cunningly disguising the true nature of the bottom one. Absolute fools. It would never work at a game with a decent crowd though, we had just over 20,000 at the game tonight and still had to change seat about four times before the match started.
We were quite happy about this, until the start of the third quarter when the red and blue ponces posing as Melbourne decided to spontaneously self-destruct and embarass everyone involved with the club. How dare they collapse in such a pissweak fashion on a day as sacred as Allen Jakovich day. Incidentally the Bulldogs paid fine tribute to their former superstar (*cough*) by kicking a pair of "goal of the year contenders". Glad to see somebody was having a go.
Anyway, let's discuss something far better - and that's what a complete debacle the organisational side of that stadium still is. The story goes a little something like this,
A workmate was supposed to score two free tickets to the Level 2 "posh people be here" section of the ground but when he got them one had inexplicably been allocated for the West Coast/St. Kilda game on Sunday. Despite that game being a far more attractive proposition from a footballing standpoint we weren't interested and wanted our "plebs be gone" seats nonetheless. Sadly our first attempted scam, trying to get through the computer-operated turnstiles with the dud ticket, failed - though it took the barrier jockey a good three minutes of staring at the ticket to realise it was for the wrong game. I bought the cheapest ticket possible and we moved inside the ground to do the numbers on our scam and come up with a new plan.
The second idea was for him to go in and throw the ticket down to me from the next level so I could go in as well, this naturally failed when we realised that I'd have to have some sort of hardcore ticket to get to the place where this could take place anyway.
One last option left - to just wave the tickets at the monkey on the door of the hardcore area and hope he doesn't bother to check which game the bottom one is for. It shouldn't have worked, of all the ideas we'd had it seemed to be the most far fetched, but acting on a tip-off from another colleague who claimed that if you "confuse them enough they'll let you through without checking what you're waving at them" we engaged Stadium Man in a lively debate about where exactly Aisle 37 was and waltzed in with the two tickets held together, cunningly disguising the true nature of the bottom one. Absolute fools. It would never work at a game with a decent crowd though, we had just over 20,000 at the game tonight and still had to change seat about four times before the match started.
We were quite happy about this, until the start of the third quarter when the red and blue ponces posing as Melbourne decided to spontaneously self-destruct and embarass everyone involved with the club. How dare they collapse in such a pissweak fashion on a day as sacred as Allen Jakovich day. Incidentally the Bulldogs paid fine tribute to their former superstar (*cough*) by kicking a pair of "goal of the year contenders". Glad to see somebody was having a go.
Thursday, 31 July 2003
Impossible!
Stand back, it's a film that's allegedly worse than anything done by Mariah Carey, Madonna or Britney Spears. Must be an atrocity on horrific levels to even rate in the same sentence as those bombs, let alone being rated 'worse'.
Call it one of the biggest turkeys of all time.
The romance between Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez has captivated the American public, but their first movie together is already being called a low point of cinema history.
If early reviews are anything to go by, the pairing of the real-life love birds in the movie "Gigli" looks set to bomb when it opens at the U.S. box office Friday.
Among its biggest problems is a love scene in which Lopez spreads her legs and tells a smoldering Affleck, "It's turkey time. Gobble, gobble."
Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall it ain't.
"Witless, coarse, and vulgar, 'Gigli' is worse than its advance buzz could have indicated," wrote Fox News critic Roger Friedman. "The film -- if you can call it that -- is a total, mindless disaster."
The New York Post on Wednesday ran a full-page splash blasting the movie. "The 'Gigli' is Up," the paper wrote, adding, "Ben-Jen bomb was made for walking."
Much of the movie features Affleck's efforts to change Lopez' character from being a lesbian into a straight woman. Needless to say, by the time she's saying, "Gobble, gobble," she's changed sides.
The romantic gangster film pairs a couple who have been almost omnipresent in U.S. tabloids for months and who have been touted as among the sexiest people in the world.
While their romance was said to have been originally sparked with the shooting of "Gigli," critics see little of that spark in the movie. Critics have compared the film to such box office flops as Madonna's "Swept Away," Mariah Carey's "Glitter" and Britney Spears vehicle "Crossroads."
"From 'Gigli's' first test screenings, where writer-director Martin Brest clashed with Revolution studio chief Joe Roth over the film's final act and pace, to the film's poster, which allegedly featured a retouched version of Lopez's famous derriere (which the studio denies), nearly every step of the film's path to the screen has been chronicled by the Internet, the tabloids and, eventually, the mainstream media," the Los Angeles Times wrote.
Gobble, gobble?
Against all odds I've always liked Ben Affleck films (his performance in Boiler Room was awesome) but I think his relationship with J.Lo can be considered as the point where he 'Jumped the Shark'.
Call it one of the biggest turkeys of all time.
The romance between Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez has captivated the American public, but their first movie together is already being called a low point of cinema history.
If early reviews are anything to go by, the pairing of the real-life love birds in the movie "Gigli" looks set to bomb when it opens at the U.S. box office Friday.
Among its biggest problems is a love scene in which Lopez spreads her legs and tells a smoldering Affleck, "It's turkey time. Gobble, gobble."
Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall it ain't.
"Witless, coarse, and vulgar, 'Gigli' is worse than its advance buzz could have indicated," wrote Fox News critic Roger Friedman. "The film -- if you can call it that -- is a total, mindless disaster."
The New York Post on Wednesday ran a full-page splash blasting the movie. "The 'Gigli' is Up," the paper wrote, adding, "Ben-Jen bomb was made for walking."
Much of the movie features Affleck's efforts to change Lopez' character from being a lesbian into a straight woman. Needless to say, by the time she's saying, "Gobble, gobble," she's changed sides.
The romantic gangster film pairs a couple who have been almost omnipresent in U.S. tabloids for months and who have been touted as among the sexiest people in the world.
While their romance was said to have been originally sparked with the shooting of "Gigli," critics see little of that spark in the movie. Critics have compared the film to such box office flops as Madonna's "Swept Away," Mariah Carey's "Glitter" and Britney Spears vehicle "Crossroads."
"From 'Gigli's' first test screenings, where writer-director Martin Brest clashed with Revolution studio chief Joe Roth over the film's final act and pace, to the film's poster, which allegedly featured a retouched version of Lopez's famous derriere (which the studio denies), nearly every step of the film's path to the screen has been chronicled by the Internet, the tabloids and, eventually, the mainstream media," the Los Angeles Times wrote.
Gobble, gobble?
Against all odds I've always liked Ben Affleck films (his performance in Boiler Room was awesome) but I think his relationship with J.Lo can be considered as the point where he 'Jumped the Shark'.
Great One-Hit Wonders
#3 - Andrea True Connection - More, More, More (1976)
Long term readers (that's none of you) will remember that my very first Disturbing Search Request ever was for Andrea True Connection picture porn. "Why", I wondered "would anyone think a one hit wonder disco star would have made a porno?" How wrong can you be? In fact it turned out that Ms. True had a long and storied career in the porn game before she decided to give music a try.
You might have heard it in a Holden ad. You might have seen her rutting like a madwoman on video - if you're about a hundred years old. Her first film, Dance of Love, was made in 1970 and in the next five years she made 14 movies.
The star of such gentlemen's art films as "Sexual Freedom in the Ozarks" embarked on her disco career during a film shoot (and I presume there was a lot of shooting to be done) in Jamaica. She was unlucky enough to be paid the day before the Jamaican government imposed some sort of zany ban on taking money out of the country. Left with a shitload of cash and nothing to do with it she called a producer friend in New York and he immediately flew in with a hastily written song. The track was recorded in one take (True actually thought it was a test) and taken back to the US for mixing.
Released in the Spring of 1976 it eventually reached number four on the Billboard charts and dominated the club scene for months. The success of the single encouraged the release of a whole album before going back into the pron game and making three more films. In '77 she took time out of the movie industry again to release her second album, which despite again being a huge club hit, failed to crack the charts and saw her contract cancelled. In 1978 she made two more films, and then a finale in 1980 entitled "Summer Session".
The tune itself?
Best
Disco
Song
Ever
That's not saying much, but it's something.
It was most recently sampled by the 'band' Len in that horrific song "Steal My Sunshine". Heathens!
Where are they Now? After two decades of rumors about her death she showed up to cut an interview for a VH-1 interview on the "Top 100 Dance Hits" of all-time and then faded back into obscurity with no clue as to where she'd been all that time. Status presently unknown.
Long term readers (that's none of you) will remember that my very first Disturbing Search Request ever was for Andrea True Connection picture porn. "Why", I wondered "would anyone think a one hit wonder disco star would have made a porno?" How wrong can you be? In fact it turned out that Ms. True had a long and storied career in the porn game before she decided to give music a try.
You might have heard it in a Holden ad. You might have seen her rutting like a madwoman on video - if you're about a hundred years old. Her first film, Dance of Love, was made in 1970 and in the next five years she made 14 movies.
The star of such gentlemen's art films as "Sexual Freedom in the Ozarks" embarked on her disco career during a film shoot (and I presume there was a lot of shooting to be done) in Jamaica. She was unlucky enough to be paid the day before the Jamaican government imposed some sort of zany ban on taking money out of the country. Left with a shitload of cash and nothing to do with it she called a producer friend in New York and he immediately flew in with a hastily written song. The track was recorded in one take (True actually thought it was a test) and taken back to the US for mixing.
Released in the Spring of 1976 it eventually reached number four on the Billboard charts and dominated the club scene for months. The success of the single encouraged the release of a whole album before going back into the pron game and making three more films. In '77 she took time out of the movie industry again to release her second album, which despite again being a huge club hit, failed to crack the charts and saw her contract cancelled. In 1978 she made two more films, and then a finale in 1980 entitled "Summer Session".
The tune itself?
Best
Disco
Song
Ever
That's not saying much, but it's something.
It was most recently sampled by the 'band' Len in that horrific song "Steal My Sunshine". Heathens!
Where are they Now? After two decades of rumors about her death she showed up to cut an interview for a VH-1 interview on the "Top 100 Dance Hits" of all-time and then faded back into obscurity with no clue as to where she'd been all that time. Status presently unknown.
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