An in no way comprehensive look at awful football kit over the years courtesy of Classic Football Shirts - where you too can pick up a vintage Oxford United 1987 home jersey for just $350. Result!
P.S - Goalkeeper strips are automatically disqualified because they're expected to look terrible.
P.P.S - Before we start with the slop a moment please for my all time favourite shirt,
Wimbledon 1993 home
And now that you've seen the best, check out the rest.
Aberdeen 1994 away - the reason why you shouldn't do acid before designing a football shirt.
Arsenal 1991 away - seemed like a good idea at the time
Aston Villa 1991 alternative - surely never even seemed like a good idea.
Blackpool 1995 away - just plain ugly.
Celtic 1991 away - dressing like they were in the middle of a stock market crash. Sadly no sign of the vomit stained one they tried to get away with a couple of years later.
Chelsea 1990 away - both sponsor and design give away the very close proximity of this shirt to the 1980's.
Clydebank 1987 home - later seen being sponsored by a car wash and a band
Everton 1994 away - are you sensing a trend for shitbox away strips?
Grimsby 1992 away - yes you are!
Hartlepool 1997 away - the key to success is not having a base color that doesn't look good with anything.
Hull City 1994 home - where the dodgy curry look proves that home shirts can look terrible too.
Kansas City Wizards 1998 home - welcome to the rainbow parade. That was always going to work when trying to convince a nation of people who were already suspicious of 'soccer' to get on board.
Leyton Orient 1993 away - a very rare example of kit design being changed to promote the sponsor. Sadly Space Invader FC were shit and it's never been done again.
Luton 1991 home - as early 90's as large pants and MC Hammer.
Maidstone United 1989 away - not surprisingly they went into liquidation that year. Presumably the merchandising returns didn't do much to save them.
Middlesborough 1989 home - 1979 more like it. Terrible, but maybe not as bad as..
Middleborough 1992 away - all in all you're just another brick in the wall
Millwall 1997 away - Kit boring. Sponsor genius.
NAC Breda 1998 home - could be worn by RACV repairmen when working on cars on busy highways in the dark.
Northampton 1991 home - kit just plain ugly, sponsor = genius!
Notts County 1994 away - please note that they are NOT a Scottish team, nor anywhere near the Scottish border.
Nottingham Forest 1994 away - that bit at the bottom is a pair of shorts, but it doesn't detract from the abysmal quality of the top of the shirt.
Partick Thistle 1987 home - as 80's as you like.
Real Betis 1995 away - what the buggery were they going for here?
San Lorenzo 1999 home - apparently if you play their matches backwards the shirt tells you to kill people.
Scarborough 1990 home - best sponsor ever!
Scunthorpe 1991 away - From the team that failed the profanity filter comes a shirt that looks as if it had been on the end of a vicious knife attack.
Southend 1997 away - clearly designed by somebody with a ponytail and damaged nostrils
St. Johnstone 1990 home - Hah, they said Bonar
Stoke City 2002 away - 90 minutes of watching this run around would give you a guaranteed headache.
Stoke City 1996 away - Now, who were you again?
Watford 1991 away - there's a reason nobody wanted to sponsor this.
Watford 1991 away - the year that gave kit design in the Watford area a bad name.
West Brom 1993 away - Value for money for sponsors not included
Wolves 1991 home - just looked plain dirty. Lack of dry cleaners in the Wolverhampton area apparent.
Wolves 1996 away - a fitting way to end. The designers shot for 'artistic' and fell somewhere in 1982.