Wednesday, 26 November 2008

Fashion Corner

An in no way comprehensive look at awful football kit over the years courtesy of Classic Football Shirts - where you too can pick up a vintage Oxford United 1987 home jersey for just $350. Result!

P.S - Goalkeeper strips are automatically disqualified because they're expected to look terrible.

P.P.S - Before we start with the slop a moment please for my all time favourite shirt,

Wimbledon 1993 home

And now that you've seen the best, check out the rest.

Aberdeen 1994 away - the reason why you shouldn't do acid before designing a football shirt.

Arsenal 1991 away - seemed like a good idea at the time

Aston Villa 1991 alternative - surely never even seemed like a good idea.

Blackpool 1995 away - just plain ugly.

Celtic 1991 away - dressing like they were in the middle of a stock market crash. Sadly no sign of the vomit stained one they tried to get away with a couple of years later.

Chelsea 1990 away - both sponsor and design give away the very close proximity of this shirt to the 1980's.

Clydebank 1987 home - later seen being sponsored by a car wash and a band

Everton 1994 away - are you sensing a trend for shitbox away strips?

Grimsby 1992 away - yes you are!

Hartlepool 1997 away - the key to success is not having a base color that doesn't look good with anything.

Hull City 1994 home - where the dodgy curry look proves that home shirts can look terrible too.

Kansas City Wizards 1998 home - welcome to the rainbow parade. That was always going to work when trying to convince a nation of people who were already suspicious of 'soccer' to get on board.

Leyton Orient 1993 away - a very rare example of kit design being changed to promote the sponsor. Sadly Space Invader FC were shit and it's never been done again.

Luton 1991 home - as early 90's as large pants and MC Hammer.

Maidstone United 1989 away - not surprisingly they went into liquidation that year. Presumably the merchandising returns didn't do much to save them.

Middlesborough 1989 home - 1979 more like it. Terrible, but maybe not as bad as..

Middleborough 1992 away - all in all you're just another brick in the wall

Millwall 1997 away - Kit boring. Sponsor genius.

NAC Breda 1998 home - could be worn by RACV repairmen when working on cars on busy highways in the dark.

Northampton 1991 home - kit just plain ugly, sponsor = genius!

Notts County 1994 away - please note that they are NOT a Scottish team, nor anywhere near the Scottish border.

Nottingham Forest 1994 away - that bit at the bottom is a pair of shorts, but it doesn't detract from the abysmal quality of the top of the shirt.

Partick Thistle 1987 home - as 80's as you like.

Real Betis 1995 away - what the buggery were they going for here?

San Lorenzo 1999 home - apparently if you play their matches backwards the shirt tells you to kill people.

Scarborough 1990 home - best sponsor ever!

Scunthorpe 1991 away - From the team that failed the profanity filter comes a shirt that looks as if it had been on the end of a vicious knife attack.

Southend 1997 away - clearly designed by somebody with a ponytail and damaged nostrils

St. Johnstone 1990 home - Hah, they said Bonar

Stoke City 2002 away - 90 minutes of watching this run around would give you a guaranteed headache.

Stoke City 1996 away - Now, who were you again?

Watford 1991 away - there's a reason nobody wanted to sponsor this.

Watford 1991 away - the year that gave kit design in the Watford area a bad name.

West Brom 1993 away - Value for money for sponsors not included

Wolves 1991 home - just looked plain dirty. Lack of dry cleaners in the Wolverhampton area apparent.

Wolves 1996 away - a fitting way to end. The designers shot for 'artistic' and fell somewhere in 1982.


Evan said...

Find a good away strip for anyone anywhere and you shall find gold.

Paul said...

by zeus, 40 pounds for the freakin Sheffield Wednesday aping Lakers jersey.

Tony said...

I actually saw Oxford play in that shirt in 1987 against Chelsea.